Carroll and Susan

Dear Birthmother, 

Although we do not know you yet, we know some very important things about you. You have courage - courage to take the more difficult path of caring and giving life to this baby. You are not selfish. You have the ability to put someone else's needs before your own and in turn give one of life's greatest gifts to someone else. You are strong and sensible as you deal with this difficult situation. You are trying to make the best possible decisions you can given the circumstances in order that this child can have the best chance in life. You are also open enough to let other people in to help. We hope we are those people who not only promise to love your child as our own, but who will also love you for giving us this incredible opportunity to be parents to this child. As that famous song by MercyMe says "I can only imagine..."

Everyone has struggles and some are more visible than others, but the important thing is how we choose to deal with the cards we are dealt. Carroll remembers a classmate in college who did not believe in abortion and accidentally became pregnant. She carried the child and put the baby up for adoption as she wanted to finish school and was not ready to be responsible for someone else. Carroll remembers how everyone talked about this girl, not in a negative way, but rather they all admired her for her decision. You see Carroll was adopted too, raised by his maternal grandparents as his mother was only 17 and too young to handle the responsibility. His father was in the military and not around. It was just 4 years ago we met his biological father and his half-brothers and sister. We enjoy their company, and get together about once a month. Even now he is happy that his grandparents raised him as he knows he probably wouldn't be a doctor or the person he is today if it weren't for their love and guidance.  

Carroll and I have been married 10 years and together for 14. We are best friends and are teams at home and at work. We are both doctors, working in the same group. We met after medical school, in Pittsburgh, where we were residents at different hospitals. I had a party where the theme was to bring a friend that no one else knew. When Carroll walked in I had one of those rare moments of complete clarity in my life. I knew he would be my husband and we have been together ever since. We not only love each other but we are deeply committed to one another. We share the same values and both know that no matter how tough life gets we are in this journey together, because that is our destiny. We both feel a great satisfaction in helping others in need and that is why we became doctors. However, family comes first for both of us. The time we spend together with each other and with our children is sacred. I work a very flexible part-time schedule with over 13 weeks off each year. Carroll works a 4½ day workweek and has 12 weeks off each year. During the school year, we spend a lot of time volunteering at the boys’ school. During the summer months, we go to the beach. We feel so fortunate that we are able to spend so much quality time with our children, throughout the year.

It is difficult in a single letter to describe who we are but we hope to meet you so you can truly know us and feel comfortable with us. In a few simple sentences, we are kind, loving, grounded individuals who care about each other, our family and the people we meet. We have great compassion for others as we see great hardships everyday in our work. We have both been fortunate enough to have parents and grandparents who stressed education with us as we do with our children. We don't want our children to mirror us or live our dreams, but rather we hope that they can fulfill their own dreams with our support. Most of all, we want our children to become caring, happy, productive adults. As Helen Keller once said “the most beautiful things in life can not be seen or touched, but must be felt with the heart."

Carroll and Susan