Jeffrey and Alissa

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From Us to You

Dearest Expectant Mother,

We can only imagine all you have gone through as you read this letter. Know that we hold you in the highest esteem and admire your strength. We think of you daily and want you to know how deeply and unconditionally we will love your baby. We consider our families to be our greatest gifts. We have loving, supportive parents and grandparents, and we have always known we wanted to be parents ourselves. We cannot wait to be a family for your baby.

Our marriage is built on honesty and commitment. We have seen each other through difficult life experiences and feel resilient and better able to face whatever life brings. We also love being together, whether trying new restaurants, traveling, camping, or playing music.

Your baby will grow up with an older brother (our first adopted child) and many aunts, uncles, and cousins who already can’t wait to read them stories, take them to the beach, and be consistent adults in their lives. Your baby will have grandparents who will want to take them surfing, fishing, boating, and hiking and who will help them grow up to be selfless, generous, and accepting people.

Your baby will grow up surrounded by music. Jeff is a musician and is constantly singing and walking around the house with his guitar. He cannot wait to show your baby all the beauty of music, art, food, and stories. Alissa loves writing, teaching, and planning things! She loves creating special holiday traditions, hosting parties with friends and family, and sharing beautiful art, laughter, empathy, and joy.

To us, you will always be an example of a woman of immense strength and courage, a powerful image to the child you will deliver. Your baby will know that you love them. We will teach them that life is full of challenges, and everyone faces their own share of them. We will tell them that you loved them so much and therefore made a decision you felt was best for them. We will teach your baby that life is also surrounded by beauty, and your act of entrusting them to us is a reminder of that beauty. We promise to honor your unbelievably difficult decision and raise your baby with as much love and attention as possible. Your baby will never be at a loss for people who will continually love and support them.

With love,

Jeff & Alissa

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

We are adopting because we have always wanted kids, and we are unable to have children of our own. Both of us come from large families and have always envisioned a life where our kids have siblings to grow up with. Because of adoption, we have our son, Henry, whose existence has made us happier than we could have ever imagined. Your child will have an adopted sibling with whom they will be able to relate in a very special way. We have so much love to share with your child and wonderful family and friends to support them as they grow. We promise to create a loving and supportive home for your child, a place they will always be able to return to, with people who will always be on their team. We will be their biggest fans for the rest of their lives and do our best to foster whoever they wish to be.

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About Alissa, by Jeff

Alissa is the most empathetic person I have ever met. Not only can she glide into a room and light everything up, but she is unique in her gift of getting people to be open and honest. She’s humble, caring, generous, loving and patient. She’s taught me many lessons about being strong through life’s challenges. She is the best mother you could hope for. She is kind and loving in everything toward our child. She loves to hold him, kiss him, make him delicious snacks, and follow his interests wherever they go. She gets so excited about all the memories, holidays, and vacations that our child gets to experience.

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About Jeff, by Alissa

Jeff has an enthusiasm that is contagious. He comes alive when sharing with others, whether telling a story, recommending a new musical artist, trying a new restaurant, or planning a trip. Jeff is a constant learner and seeker. Everyone who comes into contact with him leaves having had a good laugh and also feeling like they learned something new. Jeff is a silly, cuddly, and generous father, one who is patient and attentive and with whom it is safe to share any and every feeling. He will ensure your child is seen and heard and constantly make them laugh.

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Lifestyle

A typical week for us includes the following: We spend our mornings together drinking coffee, making breakfast, and taking our dog, Babadoook, and our son, Henry, on a walk around the neighborhood. During the day, Jeff goes to work (out of the house), and Alissa works remotely at home and cares for Henry. Our evenings are spent playing in the backyard and then cooking dinner together. At least once a week, Alissa’s Dad, sister, and brother-in-law come over for what we call family dinner. On Friday nights, we meet up with our close groups of friends and their kids for dinner. Each family brings dishes to share, and we sit around a big table at one of our houses, talking and laughing. On the weekends, we like to go to the beach or camping in the local mountains or along the coast with friends. On a weekly (and often daily basis), your baby will be surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends who will love them to pieces! They will have close friends their age to play with who will feel like cousins.

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Home & Neighborhood

We live in an urban one-story home on a wide cul-de-sac. It is bright and spacious, with three bedrooms, lots of windows, and a quaint backyard. We spend most of our time in the kitchen, gathered around the large kitchen island where we do all our cooking and where Henry snacks in his highchair.

We have a grassy backyard that, because of its nearness to the ocean, always has a nice breeze. Alissa started an orchard in a corner of the yard with avocados, lemons, limes, and other herbs. We live next door to many families with young children and within walking distance of a beautiful park with large eucalyptus trees and a bike path. In the summer, there are outdoor concerts every Friday night at the park, and families bring picnic dinners and enjoy warm evenings listening to music.

From our house, we often walk to a local outdoor movie theater, two delicious coffee shops, and a Vons, where we do our grocery shopping. A one-mile walk from our house brings you to a view of the bay and downtown. We often walk there in the evenings as the sun is setting.

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Our Dog, Babadook

We have a ten-year-old dog named Babadook (named after the scary movie The Babadook), who we adopted from the pound when she was ten months old. She is the sweetest, most life-loving animal either of us has ever known. She wants to befriend every living creature and reminds us to appreciate the world with more enthusiasm. She loves our son Henry and lets him climb on her, snuggle with her, and tug on her. We cannot imagine a more easy-going, gentle dog.

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Our Families & Friends

Both of us are very close to our families. Alissa’s best friends are her three sisters, and Jeff’s best friends are his parents and two siblings. We see our families often, including grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and siblings. We spend holidays, vacations, and everyday life with them. Our relationships with them are the most valuable relationships we have. We also consider many close friends as “family.” We live by the expression that all are welcome, and the more the merrier!

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Our Traditions

We love traditions. Alissa came from a large family with many annual traditions headed by her grandmother and mother. Alissa carries these on, throwing big holiday parties, like at Halloween, where she makes a potful of chili and homemade cornbread, or at “Friendsgiving,” where she hosts a large group of friends.

One of our favorite traditions begins the night of Thanksgiving. After everyone has eaten, we go into the attic and get down all of our Christmas decorations. That weekend, we pick out a Christmas tree from a local tree farm and spend the weekend decorating. Decorating the tree is an event. Family comes over, and we bake and play Christmas music.

We love Christmas and can’t wait to plan special traditions for your baby, such as starting a tree ornament collection for them, gifting them a new pair of pajamas every Christmas Eve, and making cinnamon rolls Christmas morning.

Jeff’s family has many traditions surrounding food. Many Thanksgivings, we go camping along California’s Tamales Bay and catch fresh crab, then have a huge seafood feast. On Christmas, Jeff’s dad makes clam chowder while everyone else crowds in the kitchen to make their various side dishes and desserts.

With Jeff’s family, we spend two weeks every other summer in Hawaii. The whole family shares a big house on a beach and spends the evenings cooking together and playing board games.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

We understand that your child’s racial identity may be different than our own, and we are committed to acknowledging this within our home and community. Through education and relationships, we commit to creating a family that celebrates and recognizes their racial identity. We believe deeply in the fight for equality and advocate with our resources and actions to create a better society for everyone. We understand the importance of having many adults, mentors, teachers, and friends with whom your child will be able to see themselves. We live in a diverse neighborhood with a majority of Latinx neighbors and plan to send your child to a diverse school. As a teacher, Alissa has worked with families from all economic and racial backgrounds. We continue to learn more about our white identity and how it shapes our lives and will shape the life of your child.

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What Kind of Parents We Are

We are the types of parents who love to play and be silly. We are the types of parents that welcome every feeling, big or small. We are the types of parents who will accept whoever our child ends up being, embracing their beliefs, sexuality, interests, and passions. We will do our best to help them become more and more themselves. We are the kind of parents who are unafraid of the hard conversations. We know our child’s adoption will be a large part of their identity, and we will do our best to help them navigate this as they grow. We will always be a source of safety and love for our children.

Our Relationship with Our Child’s Birth Mother

Our child’s birth mother does not wish to know us or have any communication with us at this time but is open to it when our son is older. We respect her choice and continue to tell our son what we know about her, always speaking about her in a positive light. We tell him that we think of her often and wonder in what ways he might be like her. Maybe he gets his long eyelashes from her, or maybe his silly personality. We plan to share age-appropriate information about her with him as he grows up and help him navigate the questions and complicated feelings he might have about his adoption.

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Our Promise to You

To us, you will always be a woman of immense strength and courage, a powerful image to the child you will deliver. Your baby will know that you love them. We will teach them that life is full of challenges, and everyone faces their own share of them. We will tell them that you loved them so much and therefore made a decision you felt was best for them. We will teach your baby that life is also surrounded by beauty, and your act of entrusting them to us is a reminder of that beauty. We promise to honor your unbelievably difficult decision and raise your baby with as much love and attention as possible. Your baby will know every day that you love them and be surrounded by friends and family.