Ed and Rob

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From Us to You

We absolutely love being parents and can’t wait to welcome a new member into our family to join in the fun. We have been incredibly fortunate in our own lives, with family, community, and opportunities that we want to share with another soul. We have no expectations of our children and no idea of who and what they will be. However, we have had so many beautiful opportunities in our lives to find ourselves and our passions, and that is what we want to provide for our children; the space to feel safe, to feel loved, and the opportunities and open doors to grow to become who they want to be. We have been blessed to have found one another and to be parents to our son and we have so much more love we want to share with another child.

Adopting our son has been the best decision we have ever made. We could not love him more, and we could not be more grateful and more respectful of his mother. We love that we are still in touch with her, that we were able to introduce her to our son this past summer, and that she remains in our lives and in our son’s life in whatever way feels most comfortable for her. This is what we wish to have with you if you so desire.

We are two capable and loving dads with a tight-knit family that includes two aunts and uncles, six first cousins, five grandparents, and a beautiful clan of close friends near and far who we consider to be part of our family. We love to cook, entertain and host our friends and family and our house is often the site of gatherings, dinners, and slumber parties. We work for ourselves in creative fields with flexible hours so we are always available for and with our children. We believe that all of us on this earth are one, and we will raise our children to believe the same. To be global citizens. Our boy is a kind, loving, fun, and creative human, a true bright light, and will be an incredibly loving older brother.

We recognize that this is such a strange situation that at this moment, what might feel like the most confusing event of your own life, could possibly turn into one of the most beautiful and joyous events of ours. And that choosing a family to raise your child is incredibly difficult; it is also such a remarkably beautiful and loving thing to do. Whatever you choose, please know that we have so much respect for you and for the love that you have for your baby. We honor you and that love, and we thank you for considering us to be their family.

From our Hearts to yours,
Ed and Rob

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

Ed: I adopted our son as a single man in 2017. My desire to be a father was stronger than any other. When I was first introduced to Rod by a friend, my son was only 3 ½ months old. Now, over five years later, we are happily married and Rob has officially also adopted our son. We absolutely love being parents and being a family and we want to grow that family.

I love being a father more than anything else in the world. It has been the single greatest choice I have made in my life. From the first minute of my son’s life, I have absolutely loved every minute of it. As a single parent and now as a father in a two father household, I consider that we both hold both mother and father roles. A combination of nurturing, caring, and tenderness with being a provider, a guide, and a protector. It feels like the culmination of all aspects of myself. Masculine and feminine, heart and mind. My heart burst open the day that my son was born and it remained open to welcome my husband and now to welcome our next child. Being a parent allows you to be present to the small wonders of the world, to learn about the world in new ways, to go slower, and to focus on what is important in life. Being a parent allows the little kid within me to play and grow, while the adult in me gets to guide and be wise.

Rob: I have wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. And I really love it as much as I thought I would! I love the excitement of seeing the world through our son’s eyes and the way being a parent offers me the chance to focus on the needs of this little person who I get to know more deeply and fully each day. After years spent focusing on my work and my personal advancement, it is a joy to be most committed to supporting Buddy in his journey to becoming his most authentic self. Honestly, I just love so many of the daily routines of being a dad. Even though it seems mundane at times, I get great pleasure from folding Buddy’s little outer space pajamas, making his meals, and holding his hand as we walk up the stairs to his preschool. I love chatting with him and entering into his worlds of make-believe and drawing monsters with him. I love reading him books and cooking with him. Parenthood has been such a gift to me and I take the responsibility very seriously and also enjoy all the laughter and love it brings to my life.

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Our Relationship with Our Son's Birth Mother

We could not be more grateful or more respectful of our son’s mother and the relationship between us is everything we could ever hope and dream of. We made a commitment to one another in the hospital that we both have kept with pleasure since Buddy was born. We love that we are still in touch with her, that we were able to introduce her to our son this past summer, and that she can remain in our lives and in our son’s life in whatever way feels most comfortable for her.

We send pictures regularly, and we chat by text and phone. We are completely open to what makes you most comfortable and will accommodate your needs. Our children will always know their adoption story and there will be no secrets. They will always know that they have always been loved and that their mothers’ decision was one made out of the greatest of all loves.

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How We Met and Married

We met through a mutual acquaintance. Rob was fascinated to meet a man who was so brave to have just adopted a newborn child on his own. Our first date happened in the garden of Ed’s house after his newborn was asleep and we have been together ever since. It has been a miraculous and magical romance as we both figured out how to start a long-distance relationship while Ed primary focus was on his son. We always felt comfortable with one another and quickly fell into a beautiful rhythm as a family. We have been together since 2017 and happily married on June 21, 2020.

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About Ed, by Rob

I feel so incredibly grateful to be married to Ed! Above all, he has a heart of gold and wants his life to be one of service and caring for people and the causes he holds dear. He is fiercely protective of his family and those he loves. I love Ed’s heart and mind and it is his perspective that I hold closest when I need advice or feedback about anything and everything. He has outstanding judgment and intuition in all realms, I trust him so deeply. He is a writer, a dancer, a CEO, a yogi, an excellent swimmer and all-around athlete, a voracious reader, a reiki practitioner, a beautiful friend, partner, and father. He is a naturally curious person and always wants to be learning new skills, having new experiences, and deepening his self-knowledge. He has a youthful spirit and is always ‘game’ for a fun time or new experience. I love that Ed says YES to opportunities, and life with him feels like an ever-evolving joyful adventure in the best possible way. I feel blessed to be sharing this journey with him.

As we met when Buddy was just 3 months old, I saw what a loving and present father Ed is. When Buddy was a newborn, Ed just held him constantly and gave him all the cuddles and closeness a new baby needs. Now that Buddy is older, Ed will get excited about whatever Buddy is into, whether that is drawing ghosts, making Lego spaceships, or dressing up in silly costumes….Ed is fully game to really PLAY with Buddy. Ed has so much love to give and it is obvious that he loves the experience of being a parent. His parental instincts are spot on and there is nobody I would rather raise kids with than Ed!

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About Rob, by Ed

Rob is the greatest husband and partner a man can find. He is by far one of the most thoughtful, caring, and grounded people that I know. He is someone who is highly capable and organized, able to run his company easily and successfully, be an incredibly present father and partner, as well as a cherished and available friend. He is level-headed and kind. Always seeing the best in a situation and always reminding me to follow up on a conversation we had with a friend, or remembering specifics about people that I might forget. I love the way he looks at the world and the goodness that he creates and wants to see. He is healthy, athletic, and always up for an adventure. He is also really good at creating the feeling of “home” and keeping our family grounded and centered.

I met Rob when Buddy was already 3 months old. Dating wasn’t in my mind, and Buddy was the center of my world. One of the main reasons that I fell in love with Rob, and allowed our relationship to flourish, is because I have never met anyone who would care for Buddy, think for Buddy, and be able to love Buddy in the same way that I would, until Rob came along. I trusted him completely and he is the best father that I could imagine raising children together with. Present, caring, fun, patient, loving, open-minded, and strong. He is able to support Buddy in whatever and whoever he wants to be, he is able to guide him with a loving hand, and he is able to fill him with so much love and acceptance and safety that I watch Buddy thriving and growing and feeling so confident and joyful each day. I can’t wait to experience the joy of raising another child with Rob by my side.

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Lifestyle

Our home is filled with joyfulness, where we love cooking together and eating well, we play hard, and are very grateful for the life we have created. Our love for the outdoors includes going to the beach, hiking, and swimming, playing tennis and traveling. We also grow a lots of fruits and vegetables in our own yard and take a lot of pleasure in eating right off the trees and in picking our ingredients for dinner. We are thoughtful about our place in this world. And of course, our house is filled with toys, arts and crafts, and most certainly love and laughter.

Before children, we both spent many years working hard and chasing our careers, but since becoming dads our priorities have changed and family life is the most important priority and one we enjoy most. Ed works in a sweet little office at the end of our backyard right next to our fig tree. Rob’s office is on the main floor of our home so we both work for ourselves and are fortunate to be home and available to spend time with Buddy, and hopefully soon-to-be new baby, throughout the day.

Our family loves to travel! We love to take road trips in California and explore places with natural beauty and regularly go to national parks and beautiful parts of the state. We also travel as a family to Europe frequently as Ed’s business is based in Paris and he has many close friends there. We spend every August as a family at a cottage by the sea in Connecticut, a 10-minute walk from Rob’s parents and a short drive from Ed’s parents. We love to explore new places and recently returned from a magical trip to watch the grey whales in Baja, Mexico.

We eat dinner as a family at 6 pm every night and take turns driving our son to school. We meet with friends either in our backyard or at the beach or playground on weekends. We love hosting social gatherings and our house is often the site of informal get-togethers and slumber parties.

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Home & Neighborhood

Our home is a joyfully painted firehouse red four-bedroom house in a large California city. The main living space of the house includes an open living room, dining room and kitchen, which is where we spend the most time as a family. We have a wrap-around front porch so there is always a shady spot to read or do projects, and a back deck off the kitchen where we have our picnic table and BBQ. Our oversized driveway has plenty of space for riding scooters, playing ball, drawing with chalk and paints, and our large backyard has grassy areas to roll around, tables and chairs to host friends and eat outdoors, as well as a big garden where we grow lots of vegetables and many fruit trees that we take pleasure in eating right off the trees and pick our own ingredients for dinner. We also recently added an outdoor shower and bathtubs so we are able to splash over the sides without worry!!

Our neighborhood is safe and diverse and has a lot of young families. We have large sidewalks, and can easily walk to multiple parks, restaurants, ice cream shops, cute coffee spots, grocery stores, and friends!!

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

Racial and cultural diversity is a topic that we are very aware of. We are interested in people and we respect the power and beauty of heritage, various cultures, and the strength that comes from honoring all of the various ways of being in the world. Although we are white men, the fact of being gay, and Jewish has made us slightly more sensitive to what it feels like to be different in our society, and most certainly to understand the beauty and richness that comes from diversity and differences. Our friend group and the community in which we live are mixed, and diversity and the celebration of diversity are at the top of our priorities for schooling and community organizations to be a part of. Travel and understanding other cultures will always be something that we do as a family. If we are blessed with a child from a different ethnic or cultural background than ourselves, it would be our absolute pleasure and duty to enrich all of our lives with that culture, that community, and make sure that our child felt as much a part of their birth families history as they do with our own.

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Our Relationship with Our Parents

We are each close with our parents and enjoy regular trips and visits with them throughout the year. Hilariously, as we are writing this text, Ed’s father just left, and Rob’s parents are here visiting, and Ed’s mother is due to arrive in several weeks! As a bonus…not only do we love our own parents, we love each other’s parents.  Our parents have lots in common and Rob’s dad and Ed’s mom went to a large New York City high school together and even signed one another’s yearbook (a fact we learned after we had been dating for some months!).  We both love when any of our parents come to stay with us and they love spending 2 or 3 weeks at a time with us.  When either of us travels for work, often one of our parents will come to stay with us so it turns into a ‘sleepover party’ for our son and we always love the extra help.  We are both also close with our older brothers and their kids.  Our son loves spending time with his cousins and he has a lot of opportunities to do so over the summer when we are on the east coast near our siblings and their families.  They are all so excited to welcome your child into our family.

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Our Families & Friends

Family is very important to us and we have a tight-knit family that is very involved in our lives, including five parents who are active and doting grandparents, and who all get along with each other.  Both of our brothers are married with 2-4 children each and they are excited to welcome their new cousin.  We have family reunions each year, we go on ski trips together, have BBQ’s, and enjoy each other.  In addition to our immediate family, we have a beloved chosen family of friends who we see all of the time.  Despite the fact that both of us have lived all over the world, many of our closest friends are still from our childhood and college days. We value our friendships and prioritize spending time with them weekly.  Many are just having children now and we look forward to raising our children together in a loving community.

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Family Traditions

We both come from a reformed Jewish background but our family traditions are mixed and we are more spiritual than religious. We like to give thanks before we eat each night and we do light candles every Friday night for Shabbat, usually with one or more grandparents on Facetime. We like to host Thanksgiving each year as well as some of the more fun, informal Jewish holidays in the backyard. We also like to dye, decorate and hunt for Easter eggs. Our biggest connection is to the earth and so all of our celebrations incorporate that respect. We have three traditional family vacations that we take at the same time each year with grandparents and extended family. We also have a weekly tradition of making pancakes every Sunday morning.

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Our Promise to You

Our promise to you is that your child will be so loved and nurtured for our entire lives.

We promise that your child will be honored and supported to be exactly who they are born to be.

We promise that your choice and your love for your child will always be respected and celebrated in our family.

We will do all we can to create all the opportunities and open doors for your child to be all they dream and are destined to be.