Are you facing an unexpected or unplanned pregnancy? You may be wondering what your options are. You may decide on parenting, adoption or abortion. It is important that you learn more about your options before making a decision. You may decide that you’re not ready to raise a child and consider the unplanned pregnancy options: adoption versus abortion.
The thought of caring for a baby that has come as a surprise may be overwhelming, especially if you are not in a space where you can properly provide for the baby or yourself. “How will my life change and how will I manage?” May be a thought that crosses your mind. Whether you have supportive family, financial stability, a job or even school commitment, there are several factors that you must consider when making the best decision for you. Let’s walk through each choice, hopefully leaving you with a clear path towards the decision that is right for you.
What is adoption? Placing your child for adoption means that after carrying the child to term, you release your parental rights and place the child permanently with an Adoptive Family. This could mean a straight couple, gay couple or even a single person. Adoption is often viewed as the more acceptable and kinder option when compared to abortion, but it has both advantages and disadvantages also. Before we go over the pros and cons of adoption, let’s briefly outline what the adoption process will be like for you.
Adoption Process Overview:
Step 1: Connect.
As a Birth Mother, you will get in contact with an adoption agency, lawyer or other Adoption Professional who will help guide you to the right resources and through the adoption process. You will need to complete and provide the necessary paperwork which may include your personal and health history.
Step 2: Get Support.
The agency and/or Adoption Professional will connect you with an Adoption Advisor who will be your guide and point of contact throughout the process. Your advisor will be able to answer your questions about things like financial support during your pregnancy, provide emotional support and even possibly connect you with a Mentor, another Birth Mother who knows what you are going through and can help you navigate through the emotions.
Step 3: Choose a family.
You will view profiles of families hoping to adopt, getting to know them through photos, letters and other media before making a decision. Your Adoption Advisor will act as the liaison between you and the family or person you choose for your baby, and may set up a phone call or meeting between you and the potential Adoption Parent(s).
Step 4: Create a birth plan.
Your Adoption Advisor will help you create a birth plan for your hospital stay so that everyone knows what to expect.
If you are facing unplanned or unintended pregnancy and would like to discuss your options, please call us for a free consultation: 1-800-367-2367
- Your child gets a chance at life. Though an easy life may not be guaranteed, placing your baby for adoption at least gives him or her a chance to live and grow.
- Adoption gives childless couples and singles the chance to be a parent. Some couples may be struggling with infertility, and may be devastated that they cannot naturally have children. However, adoption gives them the opportunity to love and care for a deserving child, giving them each hope and a family.
- As the Birth Mother, you are able to pursue academic and career goals without having to split time between parenting.
- If you are a minor or have been raped, you give yourself and the baby a chance. Minors have a hard time as parents, and placing your child for adoption gives you the chance to pursue your goals and interests such as your education, going to college, getting married – basically, doing anything you desire. If you have been raped and are carrying an unwanted child, you can place the child for adoption with loving parents, while avoiding the guilt and health concerns that come with abortion.
- Adoption can be the least expensive option. In most adoption situations, the Birth Mother’s pregnancy costs will mostly be covered by the Adoptive Family. Many states see that the Adoptive Family financially sponsors the Birth Mother in ways such as paying her living costs, which may include rent, clothing expenses, food expenses and medical expenses. There is usually an imposed limit on how much support she can receive.
- In most cases, you get to choose the perfect Adoptive Family for your child. You may search a database of families, such as ANLC’s Waiting Families and read through profiles, learning about different families and what they can offer your child. Depending on what you envision for your baby, you get to make the choice.
- As a Birth Mother, you can still have contact with your child. Open adoptions are becoming the more preferred choice in recent adoptions and many Birth Mothers choosing this option so that they can keep contact with their child. Of course every adoption situation is different and unique, but in many adoption situations, the Adoptive Family chooses an open or semi-open adoption plan, where they decide that some contact, when appropriate, benefits the Adoptee the most.
- Adoption can be a long and emotionally difficult process. You will be required to attend medical appointments, maintain contact with your Adoption Advisor and work with them to create the right birth plan for you. Your Advisor and/or Adoption Professional should help you each step of the way, but it is equally important to also seek out counseling and support throughout the process.
- As the birth mother, you will have to deal with the bodily changes that come with pregnancy and giving birth.
- The child may experience identity issues as he or she grows, and may feel a sense of isolation or loss throughout their life. Adopted children may also be more likely to experience depression. This is why Adoption Professionals and experts agree that open or semi-open adoptions benefit Adoptees the most.
If you are faced with an unexpected pregnancy, remember that you do have options to choose from, even if they may not be exactly what you want. Through serious contemplation, prayer (if you are religious), counseling, support, research, and more, you can come to the decision that is right for you, your body, and your baby. Whatever you decide, however, it is your choice and should be respected. If you are interested in finding out more on adoption call us for a free consultation: 1-800-367-2367. An Adoption Representative is ready to discuss your options.
What is abortion? Abortion is the termination of pregnancy by removing the fetus or embryo before it is able to survive outside of the uterus. Abortions are often done within the earlier stages of the first trimester, when handled medically. However, spontaneous abortions, also known as a miscarriage, may occur throughout pregnancy. If you decide to have an intentional abortion performed by a medical professional, the pros and cons include:
- In the case of a medical emergency, an abortion may be the best option to protect your health. Studies show that the body will natural terminate a pregnancy if the fetus is endangering the mother’s life in any way. In fact, 50-70% of pregnancies end in miscarriages, sometimes so early on that the mother may not have even known she was pregnant.
- If you are the victim of rape or incest, abortion may be an option that both terminates pregnancy and may offer closure to the ordeal. This begs the question of whether or not a woman should be forced to carry a child that will be a constant reminder of a terrible and devastating incident.
- Thanks to modern technology, there are ways to detect life threatening diseases in unborn children. This follows the argument that abortion may be a kinder option than birthing a child and watching it suffer through life with various, possibly incurable, health problems.
- There is a definite attached to abortion. Many people are split on the issue, with a sizeable amount equating abortion to murder or a crime. In the US, a woman’s right to abortion is disputed in many states.
- Abortion may put you at risk of not being able to get pregnant later in life. By subjecting the body to such trauma, it could lead to irreparable scarring of the uterus, making it uninhabitable for a fetus later on.
- Abortion can lead to serious health complications that may even lead to death in some women. The harsh nature and severity of an abortion can take a toll on delicate bodies, including those with existing health problems or other issues.
- Abortion can lead to stress, anxiety, and severe depression due to feelings of guilt or even regret over your choice. While the problem may be taken care of, it could land you with a psychological burden that may last your whole life.
It is important to discuss both pros and cons of an abortion with your doctor before making a decision. In some cases, like those listed above, your doctor may suggest an abortion to protect your health. In others, your doctor may caution against an abortion. It is important to weigh all your options and know your health risks to ensure your own mental and physical health and wellbeing.