GO BACK

Nontraditional Families and Adoption

Nontraditional Families and Adoption

I was recently asked this question, “Would you have placed your daughter with a nontraditional family, like a same-sex couple or a single mother/father? I’m curious what your feelings are about this and what your process was in choosing a couple.

First, I think this is a fantastic question. There are so many wonderful nontraditional families out there waiting and hoping to adopt. I have no doubt in my mind that each and every one of them not only deserve to be parents, but would be absolutely amazing at it.

Now, for the hard part. Would I personally place with a nontraditional family? My answer is no.

At the time of my unexpected pregnancy, I had no doubt in my mind that I could have been a good mom. Yes, I was young, but I knew I could make it work. I knew that I could work my little bottom off to give her everything I possibly could. But that was not my leading thought process to adoption. It was not about me, or what kind of mother I would be, it was about the father. I wanted her to have a mom AND a dad.

I knew that if I decided to parent my sweet little girl that she would have no male figure in her life. No one to call Dad, and I wanted that for her. I wanted her to be daddy’s little girl. I wanted her to tickle her cheeks on daddy’s scruff. I wanted that male influence in her life. It was extremely important to me. Important enough that when it came time to look at profiles, I first looked at the man long before I looked at the woman.

I knew I could be a good mom, but this was about finding her a father.

With all of this said, I am just one birth mom. I personally know several birth moms who have placed their child with nontraditional families and could not be happier with their decision. Every birth parent is so different in what they are searching for. Some look for couples without children. Some look for couples with children. Some look for an older couple. Some look for a younger couple. Some birth parents do not look for any specific quality at all. They just base it off the way they “feel” about each situation presented to them.

I am here to tell you that I personally, made the best choice that I could. A choice that made sense for what I wanted and needed. But do not lose hope. Don’t think that your situation is not desirable enough for a birth parent to select, because it is. Just be completely and 100% YOU. Once you do that, with time and patience, the right choice will come.