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The Birthmother Experience: We Didn't Give Up

birth mother

Our use of the terms “putting up” or “giving up” does not reflect how we feel about adoptive placement. These terms remain the most widely used search terms for those who are considering adoption for their baby, and we wish to reach all who seek this important information.

I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me “soyou gave up your baby for adoption.” I really try to give most people thebenefit of the doubt because, unfortunately, there is a huge lack of adoptioneducation in the world. But this is probably one of the phrases that evokes themost anger and hurt when I hear it. People don’t give up things they love. Theygive up bad habits, they give up unhealthy foods, they give up things having anegative impact on their lives.

I am here to set the record straight. WE DIDN’T GIVE UPANYTHING.

We didn’t give up our baby. WE CREATED AN ADOPTION PLAN FOROUR CHILD.

We didn’t give up our baby. WE PLACED OUR CHILD INTO THEARMS OF A LOVING FAMILY.

We didn’t give up our baby. WE MADE A DIFFICULT CHOICE TO DOWHAT WAS BEST FOR OUR CHILD.

WE PLACED OURCHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we love them.

WE PLACED OURCHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we wanted to make sure our child had everythinghe/she deserved.

WE PLACED OURCHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we loved them enough to give them a life we knew wecouldn’t provide.

WE PLACED OURCHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we wanted to give a gift to a family that couldn’thave one.

WE PLACED OURCHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE they deserved more.

It took time. It took effort. It took thought. It took atrue act of selfless love to place our child. We sought counseling andguidance. We filled out loads of paperwork. We chose a family. We created aplan. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t quick. And it sure didn’t feel like we were“giving up” anything. 

Author: Ali C.