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The Birthmother Experience: We Didn't Give Up

birth mother

I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me “so you gave up your baby for adoption.” I really try to give most people the benefit of the doubt because, unfortunately, there is a huge lack of adoption education in the world. But this is probably one of the phrases that evokes the most anger and hurt when I hear it. People don’t give up things they love. They give up bad habits, they give up unhealthy foods, they give up things having a negative impact on their lives.

I am here to set the record straight. WE DIDN’T GIVE UP ANYTHING.

We didn’t give up our baby. WE CREATED AN ADOPTION PLAN FOR OUR CHILD.

We didn’t give up our baby. WE PLACED OUR CHILD INTO THE ARMS OF A LOVING FAMILY.

We didn’t give up our baby. WE MADE A DIFFICULT CHOICE TO DO WHAT WAS BEST FOR OUR CHILD.

WE PLACED OUR CHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we love them.

WE PLACED OUR CHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we wanted to make sure our child had everything he/she deserved.

WE PLACED OUR CHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we loved them enough to give them a life we knew we couldn’t provide.

WE PLACED OUR CHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE we wanted to give a gift to a family that couldn’t have one.

WE PLACED OUR CHILD FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE they deserved more.

It took time. It took effort. It took thought. It took a true act of selfless love to place our child. We sought counseling and guidance. We filled out loads of paperwork. We chose a family. We created a plan. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t quick. And it sure didn’t feel like we were “giving up” anything. 

Author: Ali C.