Dear Expectant Mother:
This is the most difficult letter we have ever had to write, but not for the reason you might think. The excitement and honor we feel at being considered by you brings up so many emotions that it is hard to put it all into words, but we’ll try! We can’t imagine what you have gone through to reach your decision to create an adoption plan. To us there is no greater act of love, courage and strength. These are the things we will tell your child about you. He or she will know that they were always loved and that you chose this path as the ultimate act of love. We will never know how you feel during this time, and we are praying for you to be at peace with this difficult decision. Please know and trust that we will always hold you in the brightest light and we will do our best to live up to this act of love you have shown your child.
Justin: I met Jen while out dancing one night and she caught me by surprise. I just remember wanting to impress her. She was in Veterinary Technician School and that sparked our first connection, our mutual love for animals. Thankfully she saw something in me that I never knew I possessed. What she saw in me was the man she inspires me to be every day. That inspiration she will give your child. Jen’s passion about animals was just the beginning of the loving and caring person I have fallen in love with over 14 years ago. We have a very big group of friends who have children. Every time I see Jen holding one of them she’s doing something to make them laugh, which in turns makes her laugh, and then sure enough her infectious laugh has the rest of us laughing along. Jen and I are a team, partners and each other’s best friend. But most importantly she is my rock, she keeps me grounded when life flips on us. I can’t wait to see her love, inspire and teach our child these traits.
Jen: Justin walked into my life when I was absolutely not looking for a relationship. It wasn’t long till I realized I had found that mythical nice guy that no one thinks actually exists. The one that’s also honest, smart, funny, kind, and strong. He’s the kind of man that sleeps outside the bathroom door when I’m sick because he wants to make sure he can hear me if I need him. He sends me texts of songs that remind him of me. But, he’s not afraid to tell me when I’m wrong, and believe me, that’s no easy task. His love of adventure and the outdoors made this city girl actually stop and appreciate nature. Justin isn’t afraid to cry with me. He will never let you go through something difficult alone. He will hurt right along with you until you can fix it together. He is completely devoted to his friends and family. I think I’ll be a great mom, but Justin was born to be a father. It all comes so natural to him. One look at him with our autistic nephew and you have no doubt. He just knows how to communicate with him. Children love Justin! My life is better for having met him, and I feel truly blessed to be his wife.
We have always known we wanted to be parents. However, at the beginning of our marriage, we wanted to take the time to be a couple and to figure out who we were as a couple. This time together has made us very strong together. We love being married to each other! When we decided we were ready to grow our family we discussed all the options. Jen is a very practical person, so we talked about what we would do if conceiving didn’t work. For us, adoption was always an option. We went through two years of heartache trying to conceive and decided that was enough. You never know what something like that will do to you, but it only made us stronger. So, we started our adoption journey!
We have been dreaming of the day we will finally get to hear little feet running around the house. We can’t wait to see our child grow up right before our eyes. As funny as it sounds, we can’t wait for that first tantrum. We can’t wait to cover our refrigerator with their artwork and a calendar full of dates for recitals, game days, school plays, play dates and family outings. We can’t wait to be woken up in the early hours, whether it’s for the excitement of Christmas morning to see what Santa brought or to provide comfort after a nightmare. Jen can’t wait to teach them about animals and painting. Justin can’t wait to have them in the kitchen learning how to cook just like he learned from his grandmother.
Our family and friends are extremely important to us, and there are so many people waiting to love your child along with us! Your child will never be alone and will always have someone to turn to, to talk to, to play with, to learn from and to experience life with. There are great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and pets just waiting to share their love, time, and favorite things with your child. Your child will know love, and wonder! In our house you may not be happy all day every day, but you are happy every day. Your child will be busy creating and exploring. He or she will be encouraged to find what makes them happy, whether it’s nature, art, music, science, sports, or a combination of everything. For us it’s important that children feel free to be whoever they want to be and feel supported in whatever their choices may be, even if they are different from ours.
We would love to hear from you and answer any questions that you may have. We wish nothing but the best for you and your baby, and sincerely thank you for taking the time to read our letter.
Jennifer and Justin