Jeremy and Brett

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From Us to You

We are Jeremy and Brett and while we may not yet know each other, we want to offer a simple and friendly “hello”—where every new relationship begins—and by reassuring you right out of the gate that we’re with you on this journey. We also want to start out by being completely honest: it’s hard to write a letter to someone we’ve never met, not to mention about something so emotional and impactful. Without any doubt, however, it must be even harder to be reading this letter while making a choice with unbelievable complexity.

In what we can only imagine is the hardest decision you’ll ever make, we want to acknowledge your selflessness and courage. We understand that you’re coming from a place of pure love and that it is through this love that you’ll allow us the opportunity to grow our family. Without even yet having the privilege of knowing you, we want to thank you for taking a few moments to get to know a bit more about who we are and the life we can offer your child.

You have surely thought long and hard about adoption and we want you to know that we have, too. In fact, this will be our second adoption, having adopted our daughter Isla in March 2022. Long before we even met, we both knew that someday we wanted to have children of our own when the time was right. In fact, we both grew up unknowingly living about a half-hour away from one another, until life happened to allow our paths to cross when we finally met in graduate school. Now that we’ve been together for over a decade and married for five of those years, we know that this is the right time to welcome a second child into our family and that adoption is the right path.

As for us, we are quirky, adventurous, outdoorsy, and cultural. One of our biggest strengths is that we want the same things out of life: to enjoy time with each other, to enjoy time with our friends and family, and most importantly, to grow our family. In fact, this shared view of life, along with a similar sense of humor and common interests, is what initially attracted us to each other. Our marriage is built on mutual respect for one another and admiration for the unique qualities we each bring to the table, and we surely do have our own. Jeremy tends to be more emotionally driven and Brett tends to be more analytical; Jeremy has more of an eye for design while Brett is the handyman; Jeremy is a planner but is typically running late, while Brett is a bit more spontaneous and always early (this last one is a bizarre contradiction, we know!).

We live in a very young-family-centric area of the city with many parks, playgrounds, schools, and other youngsters all within a short walk of home. Both sets of our parents also live nearby and couldn’t be more excited to welcome the newest family member; we’ll sure be getting a lot of grandparent visits. No matter who’s visiting or for how long, we will immerse your child in the love of our family and friends, as well as provide them with experiences, opportunities, and diversity.

We want you to know that we’ll be completely open with your child about their adoption, about you, and about how they are so loved by you and your desire for them to have their best life, that you chose us to become their family. We look forward to discussing how best to share your child’s life with you, whether that be via pictures, letters, or visits, and we’re eager to learn more about how you envision this relationship, too.

We want to thank you for taking a few moments to read our letter. We are so much more than we could ever fit into a single letter, and we know that your consideration for adoption is far more difficult than we can ever comprehend.

We’re excited to be a part of this journey together,
Jeremy & Brett

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How We Met

We met during graduate school in 2009. A few months into classes, the University announced that there would be an optional immersion course in Dubai, where we’d obtain hands-on experience in Middle Eastern business/financial culture. We both opted to take this opportunity. It was during this two-week trip that we really began getting closer with one another. We found ourselves wanting to do/see the same things during free time and wanted to experience all that we could of a culture so different from our own. We continued to grow closer over the next two years and eventually started dating a few months after graduating. We dated for just over six years, continuing to thrive on our passion for enjoying life’s adventures. We married in June 2017 at a national historic building in Philadelphia directly across the street from Independence Hall—a place that now defines both America’s history and our own.

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

Long before we ever met, we both knew that someday we wanted to have children of our own. We’ve been together for over a decade & married for five of those years, and have been fathers to an amazing little girl for just over a year. We’ve discussed at length and know now is the time to expand our family. While we’ve weighed the options of adoption, surrogacy, and fostering as we did in the past, we believe that adoption is the right choice for us once again.

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About Jeremy, by Brett

I remember meeting Jeremy for the first few times and having butterflies in my stomach and hoping that he liked me as much as I liked him. Once we got to know each other, we found we shared many mutual interests, the biggest of which is the love of travel and the outdoors. Whenever we are experiencing something new or checking another country off our list, he lights up with excitement and energy. When we began discussing growing our family, we both agreed that travel needs to remain a part of our lives, and he is so excited to share that passion with your child. He’s always looking to the future and planning what life will be like. And by that I mean that is he’s planning what Halloween costumes we’re going to dress in as a family (our daughter was a Saint Bernard and we were Swiss alpinists in 2022), the outfits he wants the kids to wear to certain events, and generally how great life will be. Jeremy is the more emotional of the two of us and shows his love through words and touch. He writes heartfelt cards for every occasion and puts extreme thought into gifts for anyone. He cares about people deeply. When his mind is set on a task, he’s laser-focused and works tirelessly to accomplish it. He sets goals and holds himself to a high bar, which has led to his career success among many others. Our relationship started as friends and grew into a life together. He is an amazing father to our daughter. He’s always on the floor playing, taking her for walks, swinging in the park, and ensuring her every need is taken care of. He’s protective, but not overbearing, and shows his love of her every minute of every day. I’m so excited to see him as a father of two!

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About Brett, by Jeremy

One of my favorite stories of Brett actually comes from a time way before we ever met. His parents tell this story, and like any good family legend, every time I hear it I pick up some other detail that I hadn’t heard before—or maybe an embellishment that has made the story more dramatic over time. Either way, the gist of the story goes something like this: Brett’s dad owned a ‘67 Chevy Chevelle that didn’t get much regular use, so he needed to run it for a bit every

week to keep it in working order. One Fall afternoon, Brett’s dad went out to the car to start it up and sit for a few minutes, seemingly also relaxing with peace and quiet away from his three young boys inside the house. All of a sudden, five-year-old Brett pops up from the backseat and excitedly asks “Where are we going, Dad?” After a moment of wide-eyed surprise given that he thought he was alone, his dad, screaming and laughing at the same time, just shook his head with happy/scared tears in his eyes saying to his son who somehow snuck into the car with him: “Oh Brett…” I love this story not just because it makes the entire family laugh, but also because it truly defines so much of what I have come to admire and cherish about Brett: he loves his family so much that as he was innocently (and stealthily) shadowing his dad that afternoon, he somehow managed to slip into the car with an uncontainable excitement to be off on his next adventure.

Brett is today as he’s always been: he’s a go-getter, a voice of reason, a handyman, and someone who’d do anything for those he loves. He’s a fantastic father and role model. He also thoroughly enjoys his down-time and makes time for himself to relax with a hot cup of tea or a bath regularly. He expresses his love through acts of service and feels a great responsibility to make those he cares about feel comfortable, happy, and safe. When asking about the three most important things in his life, without hesitation he would say his family, his friends, and his passion for seeing the world. That said, I do think an argument could be made that he’d try and fit his Jeep into that list, too. He is a family man through and through, and I truly am blessed to have him by my side as we raise our daughter and introduce a sibling.

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Lifestyle

A typical daily routine for us consists of waking up at 5:30-6 am when our daughter wakes. She gets her breakfast and a little play time before she heads to a local daycare where she does arts and crafts, learns Spanish and sign language, reads, and plays. Brett works partially from home and partially in the office while Jeremy works almost exclusively at home. After work, we pick up Isla around 5 pm, prepare her dinner, and take her for a walk, or play until it’s bath time. After bath, she gets a book and bottle and is in bed by 7. Then we make our dinner, trade stories about our days, and finally catch up on our favorite shows together. We also use this time to tidy up the house, do laundry, do dishes, put toys away, take care of finances, or perform other miscellaneous tasks, often while one of us is singing a song that’s stuck in our heads or cracking jokes at each other.

On weekends, we often spend time with friends and family, eating out, attending events in the city, or going to the movies or live theater. With Isla, we like to go to parks, the zoo, and other kid-friendly places. In the summer, we love to ride bikes, take hikes, go camping, have picnics by the river, and spend time on our roof deck. Brett has a passion for photography and enjoys taking photos; he also enjoys sailing at the local sailing club. Jeremy has an affinity for music and played four instruments growing up. He also enjoys reading while snuggling with our cats, and volunteering for a few area organizations focused on human rights and city betterment. We both love being on the go and can’t wait to welcome another member to our family who can join in on the excitement and adventure.

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How We Spend a Three Day Weekend

We tend to be very active and would definitely use a 3-day weekend to do something fun as a family such as going to the zoo, visiting family/friends, or checking out an area festival. We have several friends with children of similar age to Isla and always try to make sure she has some time with other kids outside of daycare. She’s no stranger to music classes, restaurants, backyard fun, and visiting local kid attractions such as the Please Touch Museum. Family is also very important to us so three-day weekends are a great time to visit Mimi and Pop-Pop and G-ma and Pop to let them spoil our daughter.

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Home & Neighborhood

Our home is a five-story townhouse in a very young-family-friendly area of Philadelphia. The first floor is an open concept with a playroom and garage. The second floor is our living room, kitchen, and dining room. One of our favorite things is curling up on the big comfy couch together with some popcorn, turning on the cozy electric fireplace, and watching our favorite shows or movies together (or watching a kid show with Isla). Frequently, one or both of our cats will also join us, making for one of our very favorite ways to spend a few hours after work or a snowy Sunday afternoon. On the third floor is Jeremy’s office, Isla’s bedroom, and a guest bedroom. The fourth floor is our bedroom and a bonus space we use to read and play with Isla. Finally, we have a huge roof deck that overlooks the city. We love spending time on the roof deck with family, friends, and neighbors.

We absolutely love our neighborhood for being culturally, racially, and religiously diverse, with many of our neighbors having young children of their own. Our home opens up to a community park and we have access to another public park and playground just three blocks away. We have many restaurants and kid-friendly places to visit within a few minutes drive.

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Our Pets

We have two snuggly house cats. Noah who is a 13-year-old gray tabby and Tucker who is an 12-year-old orange tabby. We both have a great love for animals, having grown up with family pets, and love their companionship. Jeremy adopted Noah when he first moved to the city and Brett adopted Tucker under the same circumstances. They’re both from the same animal shelter and while not from the same litter, absolutely act like brothers. They’re both very affectionate and learning to live with a toddler. We also look forward to adopting a dog over the next few years.

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Our Families & Friends

All of our closest family and friends are extremely excited to welcome the newest member of our family. Brett’s parents are both retired and live about an hour away in the suburbs. They live on a plot of land great for running and playing and also have a pool we take advantage of in the summer months. Brett’s older brother and his wife live in South Carolina with their four children, ages 7—16. His brother is an avid golfer and spends much of this time with the family and doing their various activities. Brett’s younger brother lives about an hour away with his wife, and they are recently married. He is a licensed skydiver and enthusiastic about cars. Jeremy’s parents are both retired and also live about an hour away, not far from Brett’s parents. Jeremy had an older brother, Tim, who passed away in 2016 from a brief but fatal bout with cancer but is survived by Jeremy’s sister-in-law and 7-year-old niece who live in Maryland. Each year we go on annual family vacations with Jeremy’s side of the family, this past year to the Pocono mountains, and enjoy spending time with both sides of our family frequently. We also have a close group of friends with whom we spend quite a bit of time. Together we are always planning our next outing!

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Our Relationship with Isla's Birth Mother

We have a great relationship with Isla’s birthmother. We met her in her home state a few months before she gave birth. It was great to get to know one another prior to making such a big life decision. We share pictures of Isla constantly in a unique photo-sharing app that allows the birth mom to view them at her discretion. We text her about once per month, just to say hello, comment on a picture, or ask some questions. We agreed to make a trip to the birth mom’s home state for a visit with Isla once per year. We do not have any contact with Isla’s birth father or either of their families. We are open and honest about any questions that are raised and also talk to Isla about visiting her birth mom.

We understand that our relationship with you will have its own dynamic that we will respect. We will continue to be open and honest with both of our children about their adoption. We will share as much with them about you as you are comfortable and ensure that your child knows that it is because of your love and your desire for them to have their best life that you chose us to become a family.

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Family Traditions

We have a multitude of traditions we look forward to each year. Christmas time is one of our favorites. The Christmas spirit kicks off for us each December 23rd when we attend a “Little Christmas Eve” party with lifelong friends whose father is a retired choir director. After having dinner, we all sit around the piano and sing Christmas Carols late into the night. The next night, actual Christmas Eve, we head to see our family, where everyone in the family has a new pair of Christmas pajamas, AKA “jammies,” sitting on the end of our beds. We always look forward to what fun jammies everyone gets and then stay in them all Christmas Day. We also exchange funny greeting cards at Christmas and eat pierogis (a Polish dish), stuffed cabbage, and chicken paprikas (Hungarian dishes). We also have an annual family vacation, a big family & friends summer BBQ in August, a Friendsgiving pot-luck dinner the week before we have traditional family Thanksgiving (Brett usually brings candied yams and Jeremy cornbread stuffing), and at least two camping trips with friends in the Spring and Fall. Isla will be going on her first camping this summer. As a couple, we’ve created a few of our own traditions, too, such as always having pizza for dinner the day we return from a trip and decorating the house for Christmas on Black Friday. We can’t wait to share these traditions with your child and already look forward to making even more new traditions as a family.

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Vacations

One of our biggest passions is traveling, and we are excited to share this passion with your child. Together we’ve been to 20 States and over 35 countries throughout North and South America, Europe, Asia, and Africa. One of our recent trips was to South Africa to go to our close friend’s wedding. While there, we were able to take in the stunning beauty of Cape Town and then go on an incredible safari with some amazing wildlife sightings. There’s nothing quite like being only a few dozen feet from a herd of elephants or a pride of lions! Through our passion for traveling, we want to fuel your child’s sense of wonder, excitement, and acceptance of all of the world’s cultures, traditions, foods, and landscapes. Isla has been to Newport, RI twice and is gaining an affinity for the ocean.

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What We Will Teach Your Child

We will teach your child to be a good person who respects others and enjoys all that life has to offer. We will instill the core value that we are all unique, and while others may have different beliefs or ways of life, every person, no matter who they are or where they come from, deserves an equal amount of respect. Brett was brought up just like his father, to be adamant about knowing the name of and being personable with everyone with whom he interacts, as he believes it’s important for every person to feel valued and respected. Similarly, Jeremy was brought up to show patience and empathy to whomever he speaks with and listens before responding. These are traits that we believe are important and will strive to instill in your child, just as our parents did for us.

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Our Promise to You

We promise to love and care for your child every second of every day. At your request, we will communicate with you as often as you like and in whatever manner you prefer. We have a great relationship with Isla’s birthmother and will respect any wishes that you have. We promise to treat your child the same as we do to our current daughter, bringing them up as siblings. We will always be grateful for the decision you are making and ensure your child knows love from all the people in our lives.