First of all, we know this is a very difficult time in your
life, and maybe the hardest and most painful decision you’ve ever had to make.
Above all, we wish you peace and good health. We hope that you will be kind to
yourself during this process. We don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes
but please know that our hearts go out to you. We are also so very grateful
that you are considering placing your child for adoption—it’s a brave and
unselfish decision, and also probably very scary. The most important thing for
you is to make a decision that you feel comfortable and at peace with, so we
will be honest and open about ourselves and the home we can offer your child.
Like many couples seeking to adopt, we have struggled
with infertility. It has been heartbreaking for us. We both come from large
families where we felt loved and cared for, and we so much want to pass that
love on to a child. We thought about continuing on with fertility treatments or
getting a surrogate, but after some heartfelt talks and soul-searching, we came
to the same conclusion: adopting would not only fulfill our dream of becoming
parents but would give a child in need a wonderful home. We have good jobs,
are financially stable, bought a beautiful house last year, and cannot wait to
complete our family. We love each other very much and we know that being
parents will strengthen and deepen our bond. Our parents, sisters, brother, and
eight nieces and nephews have also been hoping and dreaming about the day we
add to our family. There will always be aunts, uncles, grandparents, and
cousins in the life of your child—just like there were in ours.
We live in Southern California where the weather is gorgeous
year-round. There are so many activities, we are excited to watch your child
enjoy—the zoo, the beach, Sea World, Legoland, and Disneyland. We bought our
house last year—it has three bedrooms, plenty of space, a little garden, and we
just love it. The family who lived here before us had two young children and
the neighborhood is full of kids, so we know we are in the perfect home to
raise a family.
Growing up, both of our families loved to entertain. Our
childhood homes were filled with friends, extended family, barbecues, dinners,
and holiday celebrations. We have always said to one another that we are
committed to continuing this tradition. We have a big Thanksgiving and
“Friendsgiving” dinners every year, as well as a Christmas Eve party. We have
other family traditions, like a New Year’s getaway, every year with Arpi’s
family (we rent a 5-bedroom home to make sure everyone fits!) and we attend
college football games with Shane’s family in Kansas.
One thing that really connects us is our love for music. We
met while singing karaoke (not sure which one of us is the better singer!) and
now we practice and sing duets. We strongly believe that our sweetest duet is
yet to come—as parents who will be so grateful for your precious and selfless
We’ll end this letter by saying again that, while we can
never truly know how you are feeling, what you can be sure of is that your
child will be safe, loved, cared for, and will grow up to reach for their own
dreams and desires. Thank you for reading our letter and our best wishes and
warmest hopes go with you.
Arpi & Shane