Chad and Brittany

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mother,

How do we convey in one letter the feelings, hopes, aspirations, and love we will have for your child? How do we tell our story and express our underlining admiration for you? Here we go! Woman to woman and mother to mother I (Brittany) want you to know that your decision, feelings, and courage are a testament to the love you have for your child. You are an individual of strength and conviction. Regardless, of what family you choose for your child we want you to remember that you are very much a part of that little boy or little girl’s composition. You will not be erased nor forgotten. You are there with them and they will know how great your love for them is. We want you to know that you have made a difference in the life of your child.

We were married on New Year’s Eve 2016. We started our marriage ringing in the New Year with family and friends. Our story was unique in the fact that many years prior in 2011, Brittany was hired by Chad to operate an online college. We spent years working, collaborating, and building a school that assisted non-traditional students in earning their degrees. We started our school with 0 students, and now, have a student body of 400 students. Through the years of working together, we developed a strong friendship, mutual respect, and admiration for each other’s standards and work ethic.

When we became a couple the foundation had been laid. It was paved with bricks of unilateral goals, values, and love. Brittany can remember walking down the aisle, and everyone and everything disappeared. It was just the two of us. We changed each other’s lives. We work together, live together, and are happily married. You may ask, “How can two people spend so much time together?” We would wonder the same thing . . . We’ve never known anything different and however corny this may seem we are simply each other’s halves.

We both knew we wanted a family. The route of conceiving was not easy, it was just not working. We knew prior to our reproductive challenges that we wanted to adopt. It was written in our hearts. Our adopted son Givanni was born in 2018 and we fell in love. We knew that adoption was our path to expand our family. There has not been one day since his birth we have not treasured every moment. This includes the sleepless nights of teething, the spit up, and the fussy moments where we spent hours walking and bouncing so he could fall asleep. Each moment from day 1 was a blessing.

So, why would we be great parents? Your child will be so loved. They would enter a home that surrounded their every need and future aspiration with encouragement, time, and two individuals who would give them all they had. We would invest every fiber of who we are into their life. We would be the type of parents who would treasure every moment. We would be the ‘read before bed, piggybacks, rock me to sleep mommy and daddy, a million I love you’s type of parents.

We want your child to grow up strong, confident, and assured that they were and are so loved by not only us but by you. We want your child to follow their heart and be guided through their character. We want them to be bold to pursue their dreams regardless of the cost. We want them to take the road less traveled and embrace each new experience because they were raised with unwavering support. We want them to have faith when that road gets rocky because they were raised to believe in the future. We want them to chase their professional pursuits with obtaining their education because they were raised in a home where education was reinforced and repetition was present. We want them to be able to have the assurance to make their decision but know that we are always behind them if they falter.

Just like you, we want to deliver the sun and the moon to your child. We will do all that is in our power to assist them in every walk of life and reinforce them shooting for the stars. We appreciate you reading our letter. If we are not the couple you choose, we want you to still know that you are one of the bravest individuals we have met. Thank you for considering our family.

Love,
Brittany and Chad

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Adoption in Our Lives

Our path to adoption was written in our hearts. We knew before we were married we wanted our family to include adoption. When we got married, we immediately started the process. After our home study was signed, sealed, and delivered the wait began. It wasn’t long (3 months) until our phone rang. That phone call changed our life. We had been selected by a birth mother. She connected with our profile and choose us to raise her child. What a sacrifice, what a gift, what a woman. We met Givanni, less than 24 hours later. We can say with the utmost sincerity, we had never known love like that. He was immediately our everything, it was instant, it was connection, it was unconditional love. We knew we wanted to expand our family through adoption. Our son is adopted, and our life transformed because of our birth mother’s love for her child. We honor that commitment she made four years ago daily. Adoption is our family. Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is our story.

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About Brittany, by Chad

To describe Brittany and what I love about her in just one paragraph is nearly impossible, as there is so much to say and so much to love. Brittany is exceptional in everything she does, but the qualities that make a good parent/mother rise above everything else. Brittany is a caregiver and protector at her core. She views everyone in her life as someone deserving of her care and protection, whether that be her family members, students at her school, or even a complete stranger in need. Over the many years that I have known Brittany, I cannot count the numbers of times I’ve said quietly to myself, “Wow, she’s going to make the BEST mother someday!” Our son is blessed to have her as a mother. Brittany’s son and future children will feel more loved than any other person in this world. They will have an unparalleled role model in Brittany as well. Daily, she demonstrates hard work, persistence, strength, humility, integrity, and a spiritual relationship with God. She is never derailed or distracted by obstacles or unforeseen circumstances. She is a solid force, anchored by her faith, family, and values. I cannot say enough about her and I cannot be any more grateful that God chose her to be the role model for me and our children. We are blessed.

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About Chad, by Brittany

What can I say about my husband? The qualities I admire the most in the man I married are his work ethic, his ability to connect with people, and his pure love for his family. Chad is the most determined individual I have ever met. He meets each obstacle with peace, patience and a “we can conquer anything” attitude. His attitude is supported through action. He is a partner in every sense of the word. Now, the next quality is probably my favorite. Chad has a heart for people. He approaches each person (family, friends, colleagues, or just someone he meets on the street) with interest. He listens and excels at communication. He is always looking into the core of people. He reminds me daily that each person has their own journey that has shaped their perception and life. It’s up to us to always view the good in people because at their core everyone has a purpose and a story. Now, I can tell you that it was love at first sight but that wouldn’t be the case. Chad and I started our foundation as colleagues and genuine friends. When we began our relationship as a couple the love, attention, and embrace I received from him were endearing. I can say with the most honesty there isn’t a day since we became a couple that I didn’t know I was his everything. His love can also be seen in his interactions with his family. Whether this be a simple pasta dinner or a July 4th celebration. They are a tight rope, each thread held together by the other members. This rope cannot be broken, torn, or severed as it was created by decades of tradition and love. Now, with this said there is no role Chad excels more at than being a father. Chad is an all-in father. There is nothing he won’t do. He rocks to bed, changes diapers, gets up in the middle of the night, and enjoys every moment. From the moment he held our son . . . my world transformed and my love for my husband grew. He unconditionally loves our little boy. If he travels for business my phone is constantly ringing with FaceTime Requests from daddy. The love of Chad’s life is his child.

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Lifestyle

Our profession and positions afford us extreme flexibility. During the first twelve weeks of bringing a son or daughter home, one of us will be with your baby full-time. We will modify our schedules so one of us, if not both, are with our new precious addition.

We both come from large Italian families that were built on love and lots of pasta. We love spending time together as a family. The activities we do on a weekend could range from trips to the park, ice cream, trips to the local toy store, crafting, visiting local museums, baking cookies, and much more. We often have family dinners and events. During the summer months, we can be found visiting the lake with cookouts, corn horn tournaments, and boat rides. In the fall we often visit our family farm in the mountains. During these trips, we fish, hike, and enjoy nature. Our family is the heart of who we are as individuals. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews are always present.

Our family has one dog, a male Goldendoodle. Beau was born in 2011. I’m sure people say this often but he is the best dog. He is extremely lazy but loveable. His favorite thing to do is eat his treats (which we are trying to cut back on). Beau is wonderful with our son Givanni. Beau is a gentle giant with a kind demeanor.

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Home & Neighborhood

We live in the rolling hills of West Virginia where mountaineers are always free. We reside in a small town that is surrounded by beautiful scenic areas, majestic lakes, and trails. Our home is comprised of family and friends. We are very much ingrained in both our community and our family lives. Our family, immediate and extended, are a large ingredient of what makes our home so special. We constructed our dream home where our family lives. Our home is right next door to your child’s future grandma and grandpa. The elementary school is a recently constructed facility that is less than a mile from our home. The middle school, which is also located less than a mile away, is a blue-ribbon school that Chad attended in his youth. The high school is often ranked within the first three rankings of the state for excellence. This neighborhood has a playground within walking distance and is filled with children of all ages. During Halloween, the streets are flooded with costumes and the pitter-patter of feet on the hunt for candy. So much so that cars cannot access the streets during trick-or-treating. It is an ideal place for memories, laughter, and a future.

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Our Families

We have amazing family and lifelong friends who are anticipating the arrival of a new member. When you come from an Italian family aunts, uncles and cousins are much more than extended. Our son or daughter will have two sets of grandparents. Both sets of grandparents are involved in both their current grandchildren’s lives and the lives of all of their children. Our son or daughter would be greeted by our siblings. They would have three aunts and three uncles. Their five cousins are eager to meet them.  We are also close with our extended families, and get to see them often. They include 7 great aunts, 7 great uncles, and a total of 30 second cousins. They would be the newest member of the crew. They would have an additional 50+ people to love and support them.

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Faith

As a couple, we are active in our church. More importantly, we are actively engaged in our relationship with God. Having been raised in families grounded in faith, those values were established at an early age and provided a foundation from which we grew to become and remain missionaries of God. Brittany’s uncle started a church several years ago which has grown to one of the largest churches in the state having nearly 6,000 members. What we love most about the church is its focus on children. It provides a way for children to follow God in a way that they understand and are able to best connect. Aside from attending a church, we have built our home on a foundation of God. Whether it be evening prayers before bed, morning devotionals, or even prayers before meals, our home only feels like home if it’s filled with the spirit of God.

Faith, which is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of those unseen, is at the core of who we are as a couple. We will instill a faith built on the foundation of God. We would want our children to understand that faith is critical, especially in times of trial. Believing, praying, and forging ahead regardless of the insurmountable odds are necessary in life.

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How a Child will Enrich Our Lives

There is no greater moment in life than becoming a mommy or daddy. As adoptive parents who struggled with conception, we view the simple moments as monumental. When our son goes with us to the grocery store and is talking and laughing . . . we relish in the experience. When we rock our son to sleep each night, we close our eyes to hold on to that moment at long as possible. We believe that enrichment in each moment is our strength. We will be present in every capacity of these milestones regardless of how big or small they may be. Your son or daughter will have every ounce of who we are. Your child will be loved. The type of all-encompassing, never-ending, knowing no boundaries type of love. We will instill values of integrity, patience, work ethic, respect, faith, and family into our children. They will be surrounded by an immediate and extended support system that will love, adore, and care for them as much as we do. They will be entering into a family that was constructed with unreserved love and family values. Your child will be exposed to a family unit that will ALWAYS love them.

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Our Relationship with Givanni's Birth Family

Our relationship with our son’s birth family is semi-open. We upload photos to a shared drive, documenting milestones and moments, and we try to capture the essence of Givanni. This was requested by his birth mother. When we met his birth mother and father, we promised he would know his story. We started to share his story with him at three months old. At the age of four, it is his favorite story. It’s his life, her sacrifice, and our journey as a family. It’s our favorite story also. We share photos with him of his birth mom and dad. We conclude his story the same way, every time. “You were so loved, that two individuals sacrificed for you. The day you were born was written in the stars, in our hearts, and four people in that hospital room loved you bigger than the sky.”

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What We Will Tell Your Child about You

“We prayed for you years before we met. You were born with such love and selflessness. Your birth mom was pregnant with you and loved you so very much. She wanted you to have a life filled with possibilities and wanted to give your every opportunity to succeed. She was in a place in her life where she couldn’t provide you with these opportunities. So, she made the most selfless decision. She carried you with her making sure you were growing strong every day. She knew what type of life she wanted you to have so she chose mommy and daddy. This choice was not easy because she was giving the love of her life (you) to someone else so you could have a chance for opportunity. Your birth mom was so strong and sacrificed so you could have a different life. Your mommy and daddy are so grateful because she chose us to be your parents. Your birth mom is a hero. Heroes are individuals of courage and outstanding achievements. She had courage for you and you are her outstanding accomplishment.”

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Family Traditions

We have many traditions with our extended family and traditions with our family of three. Christmas Eve is spent with our Italian family. We cook all day (from scratch). We listen to Christmas music, laugh, and enjoy every moment of preparing the Seven Fishes. Sundays are known for Sunday Spaghetti, all from scratch. We get together with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents and talk about our week. As you can gather, much tradition revolves around food. Then there is the cabin holiday. The cabin holiday is spent each year in the spring at one of our family cabins. This involves fishing, hiking, campfires, s’mores, and lots of love. Our immediate family has also created some traditions. Each year we celebrate Givanni’s Adoption Day. This day is a celebration, a reminder, and acknowledgment of who he is. This is the first year he has truly comprehended (as much as a four year can) what this day represents. He selects a family activity (the sky’s the limit) and this day is about him. Traditions are very important to our family. As our family continues to grow, we can’t wait to start and maintain new ones each year.

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What We Will Teach

We will invest in our children’s development physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Education is critical to the foundation of a child’s development. As an educator time, dedication and consistency have to be at the forefront of language development, motor skills, and comprehension. This time and concept begin as early as day 1. This will look like singing to your child as we rock them to sleep or reading to your baby as they are swinging in their swing. We will invest both time and resources into their development from the early onset.

We will teach our children integrity. Regardless of hardship, honesty and the ability to be forthcoming is essential. We will teach them this by example. Hard work and persistence will be instilled in them through the completion of tasks (school work, chores, etc.) Anything can be accomplished with relentless effort. We want them to understand that the ability to persist can change their lives and the lives of others. Compassion and a heart for people will be another value we would want our children to obtain. The understanding that there is no perfect individual and it is important to look at each person with a perspective as you do not know what hardships or journeys they are living through. Being able to view people with eyes of grace is extremely important in every walk of life.

We will embed in our children that failure occurs. It’s how you choose to deal with the setback, the bump in the road, and the off-course detour. Life is comprised of choices. When we falter, we learn from it, and continue to move forward. We want them to understand that regardless of the hardship the will to continue is vital.

We will teach them how to love and receive love. As infants, toddlers, children, adolescents, and adults they would know that regardless of any situation they would be loved. The kind of love that knows no boundaries. The type of love that was unwavering and always present. This type of exposure and consistency in a home that shares their experiences will teach them that they were loved and demonstrate how to love in return.

Patience and purpose would be other intangible qualities that we will teach. We want our children to know they have a purpose and that whatever their journey will become, they need to pursue that road with patience and passion. Life is not formed on instant gratification. Anything worth pursuing will take time. As parents, we would want our children to thrive in each and every endeavor they pursue. We want them to have a hunger and a love for life.

We have thought and prayed for little moments of teaching our children how to hold a spoon. The moment when they mimic the ABCs after hearing the song sung to them. The times when they falter and will require a “keep going . . . you can do this” talk. We have thought about what we would want to develop in our children and in all of those moments we have witnessed others’ experiences. This is but the tip of the iceberg of what we hope them to achieve as individuals. You see, becoming their mommy and daddy will remain our greatest blessing, largest responsibility, and largest moment.

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Our Promise to You

As a mother and father of an adopted child, we have some understanding of the sacrifice you are making. The fears you may have that you could be forgotten. We think of Givanni’s birth parents daily. They are the first people we think of on each milestone, every birthday, and every Mother’s and Father’s day. We try to celebrate each milestone for both of them.

From Brittany – Mother to mother, you are embedded into their life. Mother to mother, I promise you will be remembered. I promise you will be a part of their life, their story, and their composition. You have given your life, for that child. That’s what a mother does. I promise your life, your story, and your sacrifice will not be forgotten but present, fostered, and alive.  Since the day, I held him, I prayed the same prayer every day for four years and counting). A part of that prayer includes that he would attain the external and internal characteristics of his birth mom and birth dad. I promise that they will not forget you, because I will keep you with them.

We promise they will feel loved every day of their life. We promise to continue to view each moment as we do now, through the eyes of gratitude, sacrifice, and love.