Dear Expectant Mother,
Having the opportunity to be the parents of your child gives
us joy and excitement. To start, we would like to thank you for considering us
as parents. The road we are traveling to grow our family has been emotional and
humbling. When we think about an expectant mom and the decisions she is facing,
weighing all of the options for herself and her baby, we are overcome with an
intense amount of inspiration and pride. She starts as a stranger in our world
and then becomes one of the most valuable and important members of our little
family circle. We try to live a life free of judgement and open to all
feelings, in all situations. Choosing to place a child, or choosing not to, is
not something either of us have had experience with. So, hear us out when we
say that we support you, your decisions, and most importantly, your emotions. From
the time we were married we knew that we wanted children. Adoption has given us
the opportunity to be parents to Crosby, Winston and Monroe. We appreciate the
time that you are taking to learn more about us.
We are Dan and Jamie. As a couple, we were married in 2011
on a sunny day in Mexico. From that day we wanted our own family. Due to
unforeseen fertility issues, we found ourselves looking to adoption in order to
fulfill our dream of being parents. Interactions with Dan’s nieces and nephews
and Jamie’s nephews, and the many children we have taught, reinforced that we
could not end our dream of being parents. This letter changes our outcome to
one of hope and our worries to reassurance.
Dan loves to cook, and he is always creating new meals and
tweaking recipes to make them just right. He is and has been a teacher for children
with special needs for over 10 years. We are both Behavior Analysts and work
with children with autism. Together we enjoy traveling, sports, and our
families. Highlights of our travels include trips to Europe, Mexico,
Washington, California, Florida, and trips to the Super Bowl in 2011 and the
Kentucky Derby in 2013.
Crosby was born on March 26, 2014. We were chosen to be his
adoptive parents on February 26 and the days we had to plan and prepare for him
were quick and really proved to be a lesson in only focusing on the
necessities. Crosby is now almost 6 and is a happy, healthy little boy. He can
ride his bike without training wheels, loves baseball, and recently made a swim
team. He loves the water and enjoys being outside. His favorite meal is chicken
Winston was born on August 9, 2017. We were chosen to be his
adoptive parents after he had arrived. The excitement in Crosby’s eyes was so
sincere and joyful, but it quickly turned to sadness when he realized we
couldn’t take “his broder home” that very night. Winston is sweet and calm. He
enjoys playing with balls and singing songs. Winston loves to eat noodles, too.
He also loves animals and calls them his “guys.” He takes one animal to bed
with him every night.
Monroe was born on October 7, 2018. We were matched and
chosen to be her parents on October 5, thinking we had about a month to
prepare. Monroe is a watcher and she is always noticing what people are doing
or where they are going. She is an early talker and speaks in 2-3 words
sentences at just over a year old. She swims just like her brothers and is
super calm and happy in the water.
With each adoption comes a new and at times, challenging
relationship to form. Each birth mom that has chosen us to raise her baby has a
different story; they come with a huge age range, and a varying number of
children or pregnancies. That in itself provides us with opportunities for
compassion and understanding. It challenges us to branch out, to break the
mold, to truly listen in an attempt to develop and maintain a strong
connection. As years go by, things do change. We have one relationship that is
no longer available. We are unable to reach one birth mom. Messages are
undeliverable. Phone calls are failed or blocked. But, we continue to strive
for birth-mom directed communication and visits when possible with the others. Crosby
calls birth moms “hospital moms.” This label for him is concrete and makes
sense to him. Thankfully, it also provides a gateway to conversation about birth
stories, birth families, and the immense love we have for each of their birth moms
and birth dads.
We were both born in families that have instilled many of
the beliefs we have today. Both our parents taught us that hard work and
persistence do pay off. We have learned that we must set our goals high and
work hard to achieve our dreams. Whether it was Jamie babysitting
three-week-old twins at the age of 12 or Dan teaching youth sport classes
during college, we both enjoyed watching children learn and grow. These are
just two experiences in our lives that we hope to pass on to our children.
We live in a five-bedroom home in Colorado. We are close to
many parks and walking trails. Many of the views from our home are of the
beautiful Rocky Mountains. Nearby events include attending baseball games,
football and basketball games, or trips to Denver to watch baseball or
football. On several occasions we have family members that visit us and we will
explore the beauty that Colorado has to offer.
Writing you this letter is not easy. There is so much to
share about who we are and how excited we are to have the opportunity to grow
our family. We value your time in making such a courageous choice for your
baby. We do not want the end of this letter to be considered the end of the
road for any of us involved, but rather the beginning of a meaningful and
purposeful relationship that can be shared by all.
Dan, Jamie, Crosby, Winston, and Monroe