Congratulations for considering adoption! It’s scary, but it costs you nothing to find out all the information you can about this option for your child. Like any other choice, placing your baby for adoption has pros and cons. The pros are easy to see—your child gets her needs met and you do not bear the sole responsibility of raising her yourself. But you will grieve and you will feel this loss like no other. So it’s important that you find out as much information as you can in order to make the best decision for your child.
So now that you have decided to investigate this option further, whom should you talk to? Where does this information live? In no particular order, here are some suggestions:
- Adoption agency. You can Google one in your area, at a pregnancy resource center or find help here. Make a list of questions you want answered and go talk to someone. Even though it may be scary, talking to someone at an adoption agency in no way promises them that you will place your child through them. They are there as a resource. Ask your questions without holding back. This is your child and your decision.
- Support system. If your boyfriend or someone else in your network would be supportive of finding out more about adoption, let them in on what you’re thinking. It’s good to have another person you can talk to about what you’re learning and what questions you still have. It’s good to have someone outside your own head that can hear you.
- Birthmom. Find yourself someone who has made the choice you are contemplating. Ask her questions about her experience while keeping in mind that everyone’s story is different. She made the best decision she could make at that time with that set of circumstances. These ladies can be found everywhere on Google or Facebook or even your own back yard. Visit our birthmother blogs for personal stories from others who’ve been in your shoes.
- Google. Isn’t this where all information lives? This is a great tool as you are learning terminology, addresses and other needed information for the above resources.
Although it’s not imperative at this time for you to formally let anyone know of your research, this list gives you some places to start looking for information. Those starts often lead to other resources and leaves you open to conversations you may have never had otherwise.
Lastly, ask questions. Ask adoption questions of your friends, co-workers, neighbors. You may have a wealth of information all around you that you don’t even know about. Adoption can be a very private matter, but if you start asking questions and sincerely want to listen to the answers, you may be surprised at what you learn.