What Does it Mean to be an Adoptee

Adoption isn’t a phase that one experiences for a period of time. It’s a lifelong journey for everyone involved; Birth Parent, Adoptive Parent, and Adoptee. Everyone’s experience with adoption is unique, so as an adoptee, the ways that your adoption will affect you will be equally unique. No two adoptees will experience the exact same impact of adoption, which makes the meaning of adoption different to each adoptee.To an adoptee, the meaning of adoption can be difficult to put into words an...

Picture and Letter Correspondence With Birth Parents

Adoptees have two sets of parents. This can be confusing to a young adoptee. An adoptive parent shares how her adopted son reacts to seeing pictures of his birth parents.At an early age, I introduced both of my kids to pictures of their birth parents. I talked about adoption at birth, but I held off on the pictures until they could hold on to them without damaging the pictures. My son is 19 months and I have shown him his pictures 3 times. The first two times he just stared and was mesmerized be...

Ask The Adoption Coach: Celebrating an Adoption

Reader: I’m in the process of adopting my cousin whom I have had since he was 3 and is now 7. Next week if all goes as planned I will be adopting him. I told his teacher that I could come in and bring a treat to celebrate his “name change” do you have any ideas on how I can explain all of the adoption process to 6 and 7-year-olds?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:What an exciting time for you and your cousin (soon-to-be son)!First, I would consider if the name change/adoption party is something that wo...

Ask The Adoption Coach: Starting School and Disclosing Adoption

Reader: With school getting ready to start, should I tell my child’s teacher that my child was adopted?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:This is a question I’ve had myself a few years ago when one of my children started preschool, and I believe it’s a very common concern among adoptive parents.My friends who are fellow adoptive parents as well as some of my friends who are teachers, have varying opinions. Some parents feel that their child being adopted is a non-issue and doesn’t need to be disclosed t...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Addressing Adopted Son’s Questions

Reader: I’m starting to get lots of questions from my son, just in our evening conversation. I want to answer everything right, not answer more than he asks, and make it feel natural—but it breaks my heart. Are there wrong or right answers, or things to stay away from?Adoption Coach: Dear Reader:Thank you for question and your honesty. You didn’t mention how old your son is or the circumstances of his adoption, but I can offer you some tips to help guide you.First, I think keeping your chil...