Ask the Adoption Coach: Meeting My Birth Daughter

Reader: Next month I am going to be meeting with my daughter that I placed for adoption, almost 20 years ago. We have met up once before, but in a room with 4 other people. This time it will be just her and  me. I am nervous, but excited. I would love to get an idea of what type of questions adoptees have for their birthmothers, so I can be prepared! I have a scrapbook filled with letters and cards that I received while pregnant, and a photo album filled with pictures up until she was 3, on...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Introducing My Birth Son to My Children

Reader: Any advice on how to introduce my 27-year-old birth son to my 6 & 2-year-old that have never been told that I placed a child for adoption?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question. I’m sure you are anticipating the meeting, and I applaud you for carefully considering the best way to go about it.A good place to start is establishing what “introducing” means. Do you wish to have the children meet in person? Speak on the phone? Or do you plan to simply share the story of yo...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Open or Closed Adoption?

Reader: Open adoption or private adoption? New to this site with regard to my daughter who is only 15. She has decided to put her baby up for adoption due to the circumstances and because she is only 15… so many questions!Dear Reader:First, if possible, I recommend finding an independent counselor (not one affiliated with an adoption agency) with adoption experience to help you and your daughter navigate her pregnancy and her consideration of adoption. The lone fact that she is only fifteen-year...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Approaching Your Child’s Birth Mother About Prenatal Exposure to Substances

Reader: My 9-yo child is having difficulties, ADD, anger issues. I’m all over it – seeing specialists, started therapy. I was told he tested positive for marijuana at birth, hence his being removed and, thank God, placed with me first as a foster and within a year, my namesake! He had an abnormal EEG today and has to go for an MRI. I’m “friends” with bio-Mom on FB (Facebook), and feel he deserves answers like was it only marijuana? How do I approach it? Do I approach it at all? This is my child’...

Something To Consider When Talking About Adoption: An Adoptive Parent's Perspective

Lost pregnancies, tracking cycles, scheduled sex, and injecting hormones strong enough to take down a race horse – it’s enough to make you want to… who knows… something terrible. Something unspeakable.  Well, I see you.  My four miscarriages make me one of you, and I have also spent many tearful nights supporting ladies like you who are struggling with infertility. I will not subject you to another round of hair-pats, or offer bizarre platitudes about things happening for a re...