Adoption Process: Our Unexpected Family

The adoption process can be a wild ride. Here’s our story.Eleven years ago, I was in the midst of my first pregnancy. Each week that passed was joyful. I practically skipped to work from the bus stop and shopped for maternity clothes the minute my belly popped. On the weekends, my husband and I took walks through Lincoln Park, our Chicago neighborhood, and we talked about our hopes and dreams for the baby. It was one of the happiest times of my life.One November morning, my husband turned to me...

Learning to Be Happy For Others When You Are Unable to Conceive

It finally happened…someone told me they were pregnant and instead of jealousy, sadness and thoughts of why? I truly felt joy! I know that may seem silly, weird, or even selfish to some of you. But I know there are many of you out there that are unable to conceive and wondering when that day will happen for you. I don’t think you can really put a time frame on when that pain you feel from being unable to conceive stops trickling down to every pregnant person you know and/or m...

Placed for Adoption: Only Child Out of Seven

I was the only child out of seven placed for adoption by my birth mother.Labeled a ‘troubled woman’, my birth mother had two daughters before me and went on to have three more children after I was adopted.When I first found out I was adopted, I was told that I had another sibling—my little brother. Growing up there was speculation that my birth mother had two children before I was born. Yet it wasn’t confirmed until I was reunited with my birth family. I grew up wondering why I wasn’t good enoug...

Gay or Straight, Adoptive Families Have Much in Common

Whether you’re gay or straight, or your child is adopted or biologically yours, there are things our families have in common.“I can’t believe I’m already doing this,” I said to myself as I opened the top drawer of a dresser we have only had for a month. But it was time. Alexander is three months old and the “newborn” clothes are no longer a match for his rapidly growing 13-pound body.This rite of passage for new parents is as old as time, and every parent reacts to it differently. Kyle, who...

Birth Mother Regrets: Learning to Let Go

They say the pain will go away. But this birth mother regrets her choice.“If they offered to give Cricket back, would you want him?”My mother asks me this every so often. She asked again after my last Skype call with Cricket—I think it had been a year since she last asked—a new record.In the past, I have always started my answer with a rambling paragraph about how it doesn’t work that way. They would never “give him back” and we have no legal claim on him. Even if they lost custody of him he wou...