Ask the Adoption Coach: Introducing My Birth Son to My Children

Reader: Any advice on how to introduce my 27-year-old birth son to my 6 & 2-year-old that have never been told that I placed a child for adoption?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question. I’m sure you are anticipating the meeting, and I applaud you for carefully considering the best way to go about it.A good place to start is establishing what “introducing” means. Do you wish to have the children meet in person? Speak on the phone? Or do you plan to simply share the story of yo...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Open or Closed Adoption?

Reader: Open adoption or private adoption? New to this site with regard to my daughter who is only 15. She has decided to put her baby up for adoption due to the circumstances and because she is only 15… so many questions!Dear Reader:First, if possible, I recommend finding an independent counselor (not one affiliated with an adoption agency) with adoption experience to help you and your daughter navigate her pregnancy and her consideration of adoption. The lone fact that she is only fifteen-year...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Bonding With Your Adopted Child

Reader: We have 3 biological children and adopted a girl from Ecuador a year ago. Bonding is going slowly. It’s going slower for me than I anticipated, but even worse for the kids. They argue a lot, keep track of others wrongs and annoying habits. They compare almost everything—who has more of this or that. Sometimes they are just plain mean. It goes in both directions, but mostly the bio kids to our new daughter. I have done a lot to make things as equal and “fair” as I can with all 4. I went e...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Breastfeeding Your Adopted Child

Reader: I’ve heard that it may be possible for an adoptive mother to have a breastfeeding relationship with her child to foster bonding and attachment. Can you give me some idea of how one would go about this? Is it necessary for you to have given birth or nursed before? If it turns out you can’t lactate for some reason, can you still have a nursing relationship? Any information you can provide would be greatly appreciated!Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thanks for approaching this topic. Many prospe...

Ask The Adoption Coach: Celebrating an Adoption

Reader: I’m in the process of adopting my cousin whom I have had since he was 3 and is now 7. Next week if all goes as planned I will be adopting him. I told his teacher that I could come in and bring a treat to celebrate his “name change” do you have any ideas on how I can explain all of the adoption process to 6 and 7-year-olds?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:What an exciting time for you and your cousin (soon-to-be son)!First, I would consider if the name change/adoption party is something that wo...