The Birthmother Experience: The Hospital Experience

You’ve made the decision to make an adoption plan. You’ve filled out all the paperwork. You’ve chosen the family to raise your child. You’ve attended all your doctor’s appointments, created your post placement contact agreement and now we are all just waiting. I always refer to my hospital experience as the “hospital bubble.” I think I could have lived in that bubble forever. I went into labor at 11:30pm on July 11, 2012 and after many long, intense hours of labor, I had the most beauti...

The Birthmother Experience: What Does Healing Mean To Us

I was talking with someone about my adoption journey recently and I was stopped in my tracks by the question “do you think you have fully healed from your experience?” It was a question I had never been asked and quite frankly something I had never really thought about. It made me start to think about how far I have come emotionally since placing my birth daughter, but at the same time confront the emotions that I still feel to this day. My first instinct was to say yes, but then I couldn’...

The Birthmother Experience: What We Want Our Birth Child To Know About Us

When we are making the decision to place our child for adoption, and quite frankly for years after, we are sometimes consumed with wondering what our child will think about us. Will they hate us for what we did? Will they recognize the difficulty of the decision we made? Will they be proud of us? Will they know we love them? Will they even want to know anything about us? After having gone through the experience myself and having talked with a number of birthmothers, here are a few thing...

The Birthmother Experience: Finding Out I’m Pregnant & Taking the First Step

The experience of becoming a birthmother is so unique and I hope that sharing my experience will bring you hope and perspective, should this be the path you choose. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I felt like my entire life was crashing down around me. I felt shame, anxiety, worry, and so many more emotions all at once. This was never a part of the plan. The birthfather was unsupportive and chose not to be a part of my pregnancy. My family was extremely disappointed in me. I was a...

Will There be Counseling Available to Me After Adoption Placement?

This seemingly simple question can actually be very complicated. Is there counseling available? Sure. No problem. Will it automatically be made available to you post-placement? Not necessarily. It all depends on three factors.First, who is handling your adoption? Is it your private family attorney? An agency? Someone else? One major thing an agency has going for it is that they are already equipped to handle pre- and post-placement counseling. They don’t need to be brought up to speed. They don’...