Ask the Adoption Coach: Introducing My Birth Son to My Children

Reader: Any advice on how to introduce my 27-year-old birth son to my 6 & 2-year-old that have never been told that I placed a child for adoption?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question. I’m sure you are anticipating the meeting, and I applaud you for carefully considering the best way to go about it.A good place to start is establishing what “introducing” means. Do you wish to have the children meet in person? Speak on the phone? Or do you plan to simply share the story of yo...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Open or Closed Adoption?

Reader: Open adoption or private adoption? New to this site with regard to my daughter who is only 15. She has decided to put her baby up for adoption due to the circumstances and because she is only 15… so many questions!Dear Reader:First, if possible, I recommend finding an independent counselor (not one affiliated with an adoption agency) with adoption experience to help you and your daughter navigate her pregnancy and her consideration of adoption. The lone fact that she is only fifteen-year...

Ask The Adoption Coach: Celebrating an Adoption

Reader: I’m in the process of adopting my cousin whom I have had since he was 3 and is now 7. Next week if all goes as planned I will be adopting him. I told his teacher that I could come in and bring a treat to celebrate his “name change” do you have any ideas on how I can explain all of the adoption process to 6 and 7-year-olds?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:What an exciting time for you and your cousin (soon-to-be son)!First, I would consider if the name change/adoption party is something that wo...

Ask The Adoption Coach: Starting School and Disclosing Adoption

Reader: With school getting ready to start, should I tell my child’s teacher that my child was adopted?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:This is a question I’ve had myself a few years ago when one of my children started preschool, and I believe it’s a very common concern among adoptive parents.My friends who are fellow adoptive parents as well as some of my friends who are teachers, have varying opinions. Some parents feel that their child being adopted is a non-issue and doesn’t need to be disclosed t...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Addressing Adopted Son’s Questions

Reader: I’m starting to get lots of questions from my son, just in our evening conversation. I want to answer everything right, not answer more than he asks, and make it feel natural—but it breaks my heart. Are there wrong or right answers, or things to stay away from?Adoption Coach: Dear Reader:Thank you for question and your honesty. You didn’t mention how old your son is or the circumstances of his adoption, but I can offer you some tips to help guide you.First, I think keeping your chil...