Ask The Adoption Coach: Adoption and Obituaries

Reader: I have a question that although unpleasant I would appreciate some input. As a mother in the process of an adoption, and as the wife of an adopted person, (who’s biological sister passed away recently) we have had to discuss this. Is it okay, or helpful, or just plain wrong to ever include info about the biological family in an adopted person’s obituary? I know some adoptions are open and some are closed, and I am thinking about adults who later meet their birth parents and somehow wanti...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Social Media is Complicating Our Open Adoption

I am looking for some advice/input from other adoptive parents and birth parents on an unusual situation I have found myself in. My daughter’s birth parents live in the same town that we do. She is seventeen months old, and was a month old when we adopted her through the local foster system. We have an open adoption, with regular emails back and forth, and we are very open to having visits in the future, but M and J are not comfortable with the idea yet as they kept the pregnancy a secret. Despi...

Ask The Adoption Coach: Meeting Our Son’s Birth Family

Reader: We are going to be meeting our son’s birth family for the first time since he was born 3 years ago. We have kept in contact via e-mail. Any suggestions for us?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question! What an exciting time for your family! Certainly, you are feeling a range of emotions. I applaud you for your openness toward your son’s birth family.First, I would suggest preparing your son for the visit. Many kids thrive on routine and predictability, and your son may very...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Adopting a Friend's Baby

Reader: I have a question. We are considering adopting a friend’s baby who is currently in care. Social services are understandably concerned about the level of contact with the birth family as we both attend the same church and we would see them at least once a week which is far in excess of the recommended contact. Any advice? How do other friends and family support group members cope in this situation—we can’t be unique…Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:It sounds like your struggle is two-fold. For...

Ask the Adoption Coach: The Birth of Your Baby

Reader: My Husband and I are adopting a baby who will be born the beginning of April, we want to be present for the birth of the baby. We are in Illinois and the birth Mom is in Florida, our problem is trying to figure out what to do if she should go in labor before the scheduled C-Section. We have figured out flying will probably be the best but if she goes into labor early then what? Any suggestions?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question! First, one thing that is important to c...