Our use of the terms “putting up” or “giving up” does not reflect how we feel about adoptive placement. These terms remain the most widely used search terms for those who are considering adoption for their baby, and we wish to reach all who seek this important information.
How do I place my baby for adoption in Pennsylvania?
Finding yourself pregnant and alone is definitely one of the scariest times you will ever face in your life. In a relationship or not, facing an unplanned pregnancy can be terrifying. If you or someone you know finds themselves pregnant unexpectedly and lives in the state of Pennsylvania, know that you have options – and if parenting is not right for you at this time, we hope the option you choose will be finding a forever family for your baby. Giving your child the gift of life will be the bravest and most selfless thing you can do for your child and for yourself. Below we have outlined some important steps for you when making the decision to give your baby up for adoption in Pennsylvania.
1. Choosing the right Adoption Agency or Professional for you
Choosing to place your baby with a family who will love them forever is truly one of the most caring and courageous choices you can make for you both. The difference you will make in your child’s life is enormous and life changing. Once you have made the decision to find a forever family for your baby, you will want to find an adoption professional to help you navigate through the journey. Research several options and talk to them. Ask questions and spend some time getting to who they are and how they work. A good adoption professional will listen to your wants and needs and support you no matter what. From helping you choose the right family, to post pregnancy and placement counseling they will help you through it all.
2. What is an Adoption Plan?
An adoption plan is a written plan you will want to put in place once you have made the important decision of finding a forever family for your baby. This will not only adhere to your wants and desires but will put everyone involved in the process on the same page as you. It can be detailed and comprehensive or as straightforward and simple as you need. This is yours and your child’s adoption plan. Your adoption professional or agency will be able to help and guide you through putting together your adoption plan. Anything you want and desire for your baby should be in it. You will want to consider such details as –
- The family you choose for your baby
- The type of adoption you want – open, semi-open or closed
- Who you want involved in the adoption and delivery process before, during and after. (These are individuals such as the biological father, adopting parents, and your family members or supportive friend.)
- Medical care for yourself and your baby before, during and after the delivery
- Birth mother expenses, how they will be paid and by whom
- How you will be involved with the adopting family after your baby is born. What kind of contact you would like to have with them as well as with your baby.
Adoptions are usually put into three different categories – closed, open or semi-open. You will need to decide what option is best for you based on your desires for your child. This will be a big part of your adoption plan.
- Open adoption - Professionals agree this type of adoption is usually the healthiest for the child, especially as they grow and mature into adulthood. Open adoption is described as having all parties of the adoption triad involved: child, birth parents and adopting parents have an open relationship and some level of involvement throughout childhood and beyond. The birth mother (or family) may attend birthday parties or graduations or other big events in the child’s life. The type of openness should be discussed prior to birth or before the adoption is final. It can include sharing pictures and videos, email correspondence, phone calls and even visits. The level of openness is up to the birth parent(s) but will need to be agreed upon by the adopting family as well. Planning ahead will make things easier as the child grows and will create lasting bonds for all involved.
- Semi-open adoption – This type of adoption is described as the birth parents or birth mother having some contact with the adopting family and child. This may include emails only or speaking on the phone a few times a year or sharing milestone pictures and videos. Social Media and internet photo sharing sites (like Shutterfly) make this much easier than it used to be. In the case of semi-open adoptions, the goal of the birth mother or birth parents is to know that their child is happy and being cared for in the way that they had hoped.
- Closed adoption – With this type of adoption there is no contact between the birth parents/birth mother and adopting parents. Once the adoption is final, there is no correspondence at all. This is much rarer now than it used to be, as some form of contact is healthier for both birth parents and their child.
3. Choosing the right family for your baby in Pennsylvania
Choosing to find your baby a forever family is truly one of the most courageous and loving choices you will ever make in your life. Finding a family to love and care for your child is incredibly special. You will forever be a hero to your child. Although the family or couple you decide on is your choice to make, you will have help getting to that final decision. Your adoption professional will be there to guide and support you throughout the search. They will help narrow down who you would like to interview and meet with by looking through family/couple profiles and answering any questions you may have. When you do meet with prospective couples or families, you will be well versed on what to ask and will know the information that you find to be most relevant in your search. Do not be afraid to voice your opinion! This is far too important a decision for you to not ask anything and everything that you want to know. The support and direction that you will get from your adoption professional will help to make this an easier choice to make. They will help you feel safe in your decision, and you will know it is right when you find your baby’s forever family.
4. What is a hospital plan and creating the right one for yourself
A hospital stay will be another important detail in your adoption journey. Think of it as a letter or communication between you, the hospital, your family, the adopting family, and anyone else involved in your baby’s adoption. Your Adoption Advisor will guide you in preparing the best plan to fit your needs and the needs of your baby. Once your plan is put in place it will be easy for all involved to stay up to date and understanding of your desires. You will want to include details such as,
- Who do you want in the delivery room with you?
- Do you want to see your baby after he/she is born?
- Would you like to spend time alone with your baby before the adopting family sees them?
- Do you want to nurse your baby at all?
Your plan will include any detail pertaining to your hospital stay and labor/delivery. It will be up to you as to what you want to include, but be as specific as possible. This way it will be much easier for all involved to stay on the same page and be there for both you and your baby in the way you need.
5. Keeping yourself and your baby healthy
Finding a good, quality OBGYN in Pennsylvania during your pregnancy and post pregnancy will be very important to your and your baby’s health. Knowing the proper way to take care for yourself will make for an easier road as your pregnancy progresses. Your doctor will help you in understanding good nutrition, what vitamins and supplements to take as well as the proper kind and amount of exercise to get. Your Adoption Advisor can help you find the right doctor for your situation, whatever that may be. Again, do not be afraid to ask questions. Your OBGYN is there to help you have the best experience and healthiest pregnancy possible. If you have already found an adopting family for your baby then they too can be involved in your pregnancy care. This is always a good idea to some degree as it will be good for them to know you and your family’s health history as they raise your child.
6. Birth Mother financial support
Birth Mothers in the state of Pennsylvania can find financial help throughout their pregnancy and post pregnancy journey. There are a number of programs set up to help with pregnancy related costs such as medical and hospital care, food, clothing, transportation, rent, utilities and counseling etc. These programs were created to offer hope and to let you know you are not alone. Not only will they offer financial help, but emotional support as well, as they go hand in hand and are equally as important. Knowing you are not alone and there is support out there will help to make this a less stressful time for you to have a successful pregnancy and adoption.
7. Birth, Placement and After
After the birth of your baby you will want to give yourself time to heal. This will undoubtedly be one of the most emotionally charged and draining experiences of your life. If you have decided to find a forever family for your baby you will need to give yourself time to grieve and deal with the pain. Knowing your baby is safe with the family you chose for them should help ease your emotions and help you to move on. The most important thing to remember is that your baby is safe, well cared for and will be loved by the wonderful family you gave them. Taking time for yourself will be equally as important so that you can heal from not only the physical part of having a baby but from the emotional one as well. Knowing you gave your baby the chance to grow into a beautiful and amazing human being will hopefully be enough to help you move forward and create a wonderful life for yourself. If you would like to talk to one our birth mother Adoption Advisors please give us a call. We are here to listen and support you in any way we can.
If you would like to be connected with one of our Birth Mother Specialists to discuss placing your baby for adoption in Pennsylvania, please call 1-866-596-7824 or contact us here and we would love to help you get started.