Dear Expectant Mother,
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. We can’t
imagine how emotional and stressed you feel. Obviously, we have never been in
your situation, but we have thought about you and worried for you. We are the
proud parents of two 13 year-old boys we adopted from Russia and we feel like
they are a testament to the beauty of adoption. One thing we always tell people
about being adoptive parents is that we get the gift of watching our children
grow to discover their own talents and passions.
We don't have any preconceived ideas that they should be like
us or like what we like. It is so fun to see them discover an interest and then
help them learn and explore. Through our boys interests we have learned a lot
about science, technology, music and history, things we probably would not have
explored as much ourselves. They enrich our lives with their interests and we
marvel in watching them grow.
When you are considering your options and trying to make a
decision most people have never had to make, consider this, will giving your
unborn child to another family provide you with comfort by knowing this child
will be loved and cared for, but also brought up knowing that you, her original
family made a decision 100% for her future.
We also want you to take comfort knowing that we intend to
also give our adopted daughter the knowledge of you. Our two boys were adopted
from another country. We have already had the conversation with them about
their adoptions and the fact that we don’t know any of their history. To some,
it might seem like it makes things easier to not have any information but that
is very wrong. Our hearts hurt every time we think about the fact we have no
answers for our sons when they want to know about their birth family.
Having history is something most of us take for granted and
it is something we want to offer our next child. We don’t want to hold our next
child while she cries over the fact that she doesn’t know anything about her
birth family. It is something my sons have said they wish for and a gift we
want for our daughter.
We hope you have people around you that can offer you
support. Life is so hard and we need to help each other get through the tough
times. This is another area we know so much about. Before we adopted our boys,
we had a son and then a daughter, but they were both born with a genetic
disorder and passed away the same day they were born. It was heartbreaking in a
way words cannot express, but we got through the sadness and grief with the
support of family and friends. We hope you have this type of support.
Please reach out for help from a counselor or support group. We were part of a support group for
parents who lost infants, and making those connections with people who really
understood our emotions got us through the toughest times.
There are so many families ready to adopt, to welcome your
baby into their homes and families. If you would like to know more about us,
please feel free to contact us, we would love to talk, even if that is all you
want, just to talk.
Take care of yourself and know that even if we never meet, we
are thinking of you and hoping and praying you find peace.
Terry and Sarah
PS: Please view our adoption blog that we created especially
for our journey: www.terrysarahadopt.wordpress.com