Dear Expectant Mother,
Although I, Andrea, can’t say that I
know how difficult this process is for you, I can say that as someone who was
adopted at early infancy I have spent a lot of time imagining it. Learning that
there are many birthmothers out there that are putting their heart and soul
into finding the best match for their baby has given me comfort in a way that I
wasn’t even aware that I needed. Ed and I are so grateful to you for
considering us to be the parents of your child and if chosen we promise that we
will devote the rest of our lives to providing her with a loving and caring
home filled with laughter and joy.
Ed and I first met in high school
when we were just 14 years old. I found
his floppy hair and sense of humor amusing, while he says I stood out because I
was so thin and had a pretty smile. Little did we know at that first meeting
what an interesting journey life would have in store for us, looking back we
wouldn’t change a thing.
While the following years were
filled with tears, celebrations, and at times distance, we were always there
for each other and 15 years from when we first met we were married. Marriage
itself has come very easily and natural to us. We face victories and defeats
together and after our struggles with infertility we agreed that adoption would
be how we would build a family together. In 2014, we were blessed to be
selected by a strong and amazing birth mother and we welcomed our incredible
son Clinton into the world and our hearts.
To give you a picture of the kind of
parents we are I would like to share some of the parenting foundations that Ed
and I have established with Clinton over these past 2 years and that we will
continue with your child:
- Children come first and their well-being
is paramount to all of our life decisions big and small.
- We provide all of the things he
needs, but also teach the importance of hard work so that he will be able to
set goals and obtain the things that he wants later in life.
- Model a healthy relationship and
communication style that is respectful and patient so he has the confidence to
seek out the same in the future.
- Be generous with hugs, giggles, and
tickles no matter how hard of a day it has been or how tired we might be.
- Provide the structure and discipline
that he needs to feel safe and be successful in school and life
- Give him the opportunities to
explore talents, skills and abilities whether they are athletic, musical,
artistic, or academic.
- Dry tears when someone is mean or he
gets hurt but show him how important it is to get back up and have the courage
to not let anything stand in his way.
- Support age appropriate choices and
encourage him to express his opinions as well as understand the importance of
respecting others’ opinions even when you disagree.
Hopefully, hearing a bit about our
story has helped to give you a sense of the certainty and understanding that we
have about adoption and how eager and ready we are to add another child to our
lives. We are so thankful to be given this opportunity to share and are happy
to answer any other questions or talk about any reservations that you might
Love and hugs,
Ed and Andrea