Birth Mom Finds Opportunity In Adoption

A few years ago, Britney Perez was a high school senior. She had just turned 18, was dating a boy from her neighborhood, and suddenly found herself pregnant. She had never had a job and did not have a driver’s license. She wondered how she could take care of a child when she did not feel ready to take care of herself. She considered her options: parenting the baby, considering abortion, or placing the baby for adoption. She reached out to her support system.

Her boyfriend did not agree with any of her options. He did not want to get married, did not want to help raise the baby, and did not believe in abortion, but he also did not want someone else raising his baby. He offered no help or solutions and disappeared shortly after learning about the pregnancy. At that point, Britney agreed that abortion was not the right choice for her.

In Britney’s family and community, there was pressure to parent rather than consider abortion or adoption. Many people around her assumed she would raise the baby, and she felt that expectation strongly. She had cousins who had been in similar situations and had kept their babies, just as expected. This is what Britney felt she should do.

But Britney looked at her future and did not feel confident that she could provide the life she wanted for her child. She already loved the life growing inside her, but she could not see a healthy future where both she and her baby could thrive. She wanted her child to be happy, healthy, supported, encouraged, loved unconditionally, and given every possible opportunity. But Britney knew she could not provide that at the time.

Britney’s parents were supportive and promised to stand by her no matter what decision she made. Then Britney turned to her older sister. One day, while lying on the bed together and talking about the baby, her sister said, “You made choices, and because of those choices, you are going to have a really hard time. No matter what you decide, it is going to be very, very hard. Being a parent is hard. Being a young, single parent is really hard. Being a birth mother and placing your daughter with someone else is really hard too. Neither decision will be easy. Ever. If you keep the baby, you will need to fix yourself while you raise her. If you place her with someone else, she will not have to suffer while you do that. You are not ready to parent, but there are hopeful adoptive parents who are. Both you and your baby will have the resources you need to grow and mature. You can heal, grow, and become the person you are meant to be. And you will know that your daughter is happy, healthy, loved, and getting the best care possible.”

Britney agreed. Today, Britney’s baby is 3 years old. She is smart, funny, healthy, and happy. She receives love, attention, and care from her mom, her dad, and her two big brothers. She is part of a big, happy family that lives in Idaho. The family comes to California regularly, and every time they do, they call Britney and set aside a day for her to spend with the child. She is also welcome to call or visit them in Idaho any time she wants.

Britney is at peace and proud of who she is and who she is still becoming. She has found purpose in life by sharing her story, supporting adoption as an option, and helping educate the Hispanic community. Hispanic girls and young women need positive role models, support, and real options as they work toward their goals. An unplanned pregnancy does not have to destroy dreams of college, financial independence, or a stable future. For some women, adoption can be an option that benefits the child, the birth mother, and the adoptive family.

Brit now shares her story and helps Spanish-speaking women understand that adoption can be one of several options when facing an unplanned pregnancy.

“I am a Hispanic woman who placed her baby for adoption, even when some in my family disagreed. It was hard. It is always hard. But I am blessed and in a good place.”

If you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy and wants to learn more about adoption in the Hispanic community, consider reaching out for support and information.