Can I Choose the Family Who Adopts My Baby?

Yes — you absolutely can.

One of the most empowering aspects of modern adoption is that you get to choose who will adopt your baby. Whether you’re still exploring your options or ready to make a plan, you deserve to feel confident and in control of this decision.

At Adoption Network Law Center (ANLC), we support birth mothers like you in selecting a family that reflects your values, your hopes, and your vision for your child’s future.

Here’s how it works.

Step 1: Share What Matters to You

You’ll be asked about your preferences and what kind of family you imagine for your child. For example:

Do you want the family to live in a certain state or area?
Would you prefer a couple with no children — or ones who already have kids?
Is religion, race, or cultural background important to you?
Do you want a single parent or an LGBTQ+ family?
Are you looking for a more private or open relationship after placement?

There’s no “right” answer — just what feels right to you. Your adoption advisor will help you talk through all of this in a way that’s private and pressure-free.

Step 2: Review Real Family Profiles

Once we understand your preferences, we’ll share profiles of waiting families who are:

Home study approved (legally ready to adopt)
Excited and prepared to honor your wishes
Carefully screened and emotionally ready for adoption
Open to communication and updates — if you want that

Each profile includes:

A personal letter from the family
Photos of their home and lifestyle
Details about their parenting philosophy
Their thoughts about open adoption
Why they want to adopt

You can review these profiles at your pace. There is no obligation to move forward unless you feel truly comfortable.

Step 3: Choose and Connect

If you find a family that feels right to you, you’ll have the option to:

Speak with them by phone or video
Text or email through your advisor
Ask any questions you need to feel confident
Meet in person (if desired and possible)

If you prefer not to communicate directly, that’s okay too. We’ll relay your preferences and facilitate the match confidentially.

Step 4: Build the Adoption Plan

Once you choose a family and decide to move forward, you’ll work with ANLC to create a personalized adoption plan. This includes:

Hospital preferences (who can be in the room, whether you want time alone with your baby, etc.)
Your preferences for post-placement contact (updates, photos, visits, etc.)
What support you may need during your pregnancy
How and when you’d like to meet the family (if at all)

Everything will be done on your terms.