Benjamin and Alexandrea

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From Us to You

From the bottom of our hearts, we would like to thank you for taking the time to read our letter. We will never be able to understand how difficult the decision that lays ahead of you is. What we hope you find from reading this letter is comfort in knowing that if we are selected to raise your child, we will do so with an abundance of love and support, sharing with them what a courageous woman they came from, and knowing that your love has no boundaries.

Due to a diagnosis of cervical cancer and the treatment that followed, we are unable to have children. However, the topic of adoption was never a question as we both had dreams, even as young children, to have adoption be a part of our family’s story. From the moment we met we knew that our paths crossed at the perfect moment, and truly because we were always meant to be together. We have spent 10 incredible years together, growing as individuals and stronger as a couple. We have watched so many of our friends and family become parents and we have learned so much from each of them. We are very aware of the blessing we have of being supported by a village of people who are beyond excited to love your child as much as we will.

As we sit here writing this letter to you, it is impossible not to imagine what our lives would look like with the cooing of a newborn in our lives: watching them grow day to day, learning all their sounds, their movements and listening to their sweet soft breath as they drift into sleep. There are so many moments throughout our daily lives we see being vastly different, in the best way possible, with a little peanut running along with us; from working in our vegetable garden, that seems to get larger every year and teaching their little hands how to dig just the right size hole to plant a tomato plant we can harvest from all summer. We’ll be eating cherry tomatoes that have been warmed just enough by the sun, with their laughter filling the warm summer air.

Living in a quant, coastal town, we look forward to showing your little one the beauty of nature. Exploring the woods, watching them run through open fields with our pups, spending days basking in the sun on the beach and building sandcastles that only a true King or Queen would reside in. Making memories with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents that will last a lifetime.

As we will never fully understand what has led you to making the decision ahead of you, we want you to know we support you 100%. We are willing to share as much of this with you as you are willing. We would love to make you feel comfortable and are happy to work with you on how much you want to be a part of their and our lives. We promise to capture their purest smile on camera to share with you as you wish. We hope you know that your strength is commendable in whatever choice you make.

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Why We're Choosing to Adopt

Adoption has been a part of both our thoughts since we were children. As Ali underwent treatment for cervical cancer and lost her ability to have a child of her own, there was no fear at the thought of adoption. The first night we met she let Ben know of her infertility, and was met with no hesitation, but rather a statement of “I knew adoption was going to be part of my future family.” For over 10 years we have dreamed of starting this process, knowing we wanted to do so at just the right time. We feel so incredibly blessed to be on this journey and even more so that you may consider us to be a part of your story.

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About Ben, from Ali

I often joke that Ben is like a Mayor. He knows just about everyone in town, and if he doesn’t, he has no problem sparking up a conversation with a stranger. He is truly one of the most caring individuals I have ever had the blessing of knowing. At any moment he would drop everything to be by the side of someone he loves. His work ethic is something I have always been amazed by, not only in his career but around our and others’ homes. As I just completed my bachelor’s degree, he has stepped up to the plate more so than I could have asked for. He never hesitates to put his hobbies and needs to the side to be home cooking dinner, picking up, and being a huge cheerleader by my side. There are so many things that are endearing about him, from his love of playing loud music as he works on any project, taking breaks to dance to his favorite tune, to his ability to make yard work fun and playful. He takes pride in his work, even if it’s something as small as making the “perfect lines” when mowing.

One of the most incredible things about Ben is his ability to connect with children. I love watching him become the favorite uncle, whether by blood or friendship, to any kid he meets. It quite frequently brings me to tears as I stand back and watch him interact with our nieces and nephews as it is all so natural to him regardless of their age. He is happy to pick up a lacrosse stick or soccer ball and teach, even the youngest of children, how to play the sport.

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Aboutt Ali, from Ben

Ali is and always will be my number one true love. She is the most affectionate person towards everyone she meets and will always listen to any problems or issues people have. She has a contagious smile that spreads when she walks into a room. Ali has always been a dedicated person in anything she is trying to accomplish. She is driven to achieve new goals. Ali has always shown how passionate she is about family and the love given to others is how she wants to be loved back. She is ready to be a full time mother. The way she interacts with our nephews and nieces and all of our friends’ children warms my heart and I know she will be a great mom to your child. Ali has overcome many obstacles in life. Most people would have just given up, but not Ali. She is a fighter, a strong hearted woman, and a loving soul.

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Home & Neighborhood

We have been in our home together for just under 10 years. We have prided ourselves on making our home as cozy and welcoming as possible, with plenty of yard space to allow for forts, playing tag, summer outdoor movie nights, riding our quad, or running through sprinklers.

We live on a quiet, dead-end road in coastal Connecticut, with a community of neighbors who will often find their way wandering over after noticing the smells of our grill or fire pit on warmer nights. With close friends across the street with three children, we often share yards, the kids coming to play in ours, or our pups going to theirs to play with their kids and dog.

Our neighborhood is one where you will often see a neighbor walking their dog, or a little one learning to ride his bicycle with his older sisters close behind. Any direction from our house will take you to a nature reserve with paths that lead you past rock walls, with plenty of places for a little one’s imagination to run wild. We have a beautiful boardwalk just 5 minutes from our house that takes you out over a river with a beautiful view of the sunset and marshes. The river is one we enjoy spending time on with friends, where we have bared witness to an incredible view of a flight of swallows, bald eagles, seals, and osprey with their babies.

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Our Sweet Pups

We have two amazing pups that love running around the yard with the neighborhood kids. Our older is a mini schnauzer named Zoe Lynn, and our younger is a lab, beagle mix named Macy. Macy, being a true lab, loves to run around the yard chasing a ball, or doing zoomies to get out some of her energy. They both love long walks in the woods, often finding the only water around to run in. Zoe Lynn is always the kids’ favorite, and with her older age, loves to sit and be loved on by them whenever they are around. Some may say it is her small size and big ears that catch their attention, but it is her sweet demeanor that engages everyone of any age. You can often find her curled up on the back of the couch gazing out the window with her sister Macy close by.

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Our Families and Friends

It would be easy for us to spend an endless amount of time talking of our family and friends. Although many of our family members live further from us, Ali’s sister, brother-in-law, and niece live about 25 minutes away. We see each other several times a month, as being a part of our niece’s life is so important to us. Ben’s parents also live in town, and we enjoy time with them as frequently as we can. Ben’s parents are always willing to offer help whenever needed. As Ben’s sister, husband, and two nieces live in California and his brother, wife, and nephews live in North Carolina, we are so excited to have a grandchild in town with his parents to enjoy watching them bond and share so many memories with. Facetime calls and visits whenever possible to see Ben’s siblings and our nieces and nephews is how we stay in touch. Ali’s mother lives in South Carolina but we talk and facetime frequently, and she comes home to Connecticut several times a year to be with us. We enjoy Ben’s extended family, including many aunts, uncles, and cousins every Christmas where we catch up. Many of our friends have become family and will gladly carry the name of aunt or uncle.

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Family Traditions

Having traditions to share with a child is so important to us. We have so many we cannot wait to share! The holidays in our families are one place we truly enjoy creating as many traditions as we can. The Christmas tradition starts with a group adventure with our dearest friends to pick out a Christmas tree from the Christmas tree farm where we were married. Next we have a sisters’ night that now includes Ali’s niece, where we head out to a fancy dinner. This is a tradition started by Ali’s father who passed over 20 years ago. We enjoy Christmas Eve with Ali’s sister and her family, taking our time opening gifts and making gingerbread houses. Christmas day we spend with Ben’s parents and extended family. This day includes fun  games that his Auntie Deb spends so much time planning. The day usually turns to everyone joining in singing Disney classics around the table for the youngest generation, with a sweet lullaby sung by everyone as they head to bed. Easter is spent with Ali’s family and our friends, starting the day with an Easter egg hunt for the children. Next, we have carried on the tradition of “egg fights” as long as we can remember. This is a harmless tradition that includes two people hitting hard boils eggs together until there is just one person standing. Although these are just a few of our traditions, we look forward to having a child to join in and building many more together.

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Our Relationship with You

We hope that during your pregnancy we can build a strong, trusting relationship. During this time, we look forward to discussing what your feelings and wants are with our relationship. We would love to know as much about you, your family, and traditions to try to impart that in your child’s life. We would love to have annual communications with you to give you updates and photographs of your child’s life. We will be respectful of your wishes and if given the opportunity, we look forward to talking to you about your wishes.

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

In our household we respect and welcome all races and ethnicities. We already have a long list of books we would love to have in our nursery that teach the values we hold dearly of diversity and inclusivity. We do not believe in raising children with a “colorblind” mentality, but rather to honor those of different backgrounds. We will take the time to educate ourselves on any race or ethnicity and seek role models for your child wherever possible. Having friends and family from various races, ethnicities, and backgrounds, we feel as though we have a great support system to help on us on this journey.

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Our Lifestyle

We love spending time with a close group of friends and Ali’s sister and her family, finding adventures in almost every activity. We enjoy group outings to local restaurants, day trips to Newport RI, and spending days picking through the endless number of antique stores finding beauty in vintage finds. In the warmer months we love spending time outdoors, whether it be working on our flower or vegetable garden, hikes in the woods, or days on the beach. Ali enjoys girls’ days, either enjoying the crash of the waves on a beach with a cooler full of snacks, or shopping and eating their way through the day. Ben often will be found on these days enjoying time with his friends on a boat fishing for something fresh to have for dinner. Living in New England we are lucky enough to have an incredible show of Mother Nature in the fall and love going for long drives to enjoy the intense fall foliage. As the winter months approach, we are often happy to have the colder days to snuggle in at home catching up on movies, game nights, and inside projects. We both love a good DIY and often have a project going on regardless of the time of year.

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Our Promise to You

Our promise to you is to love your child effortlessly, unconditionally, and endlessly. We promise to be supportive of their interests, to lead them when needed, and walk alongside them when appropriate. We will foster their imagination, teach them to be passionate about life, to be gentle to the earth, and kind to their peers, and to stand up for what they believe in. We promise to hold them when they are crying and applaud them on their accomplishments. We will teach them the beauty and healing powers of music and getting their fingers dirty in the soil. Just as importantly, we will teach them about you, the incredible mother who gave birth to them, and the immense strength you possess.