Alejandro and Laurel

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From Us to You

Dear Expecting Mother, We are Alejandro and Laurel, a couple eager to grow our family through adoption. We’ve been together for over a decade and were married a couple of years ago. Throughout our relationship, there were a few things we’ve always known to be true: One, we can’t wait to be parents; two our children would be adopted.

Adoption changes lives and brings together total strangers all for the love of a child. Alejandro can personally attest to this firsthand through his own experiences as an adoptee. We know it can be hard to get to know someone through a profile online. But our hope is that you’ll see that we’ll be loving and supportive adoptive parents to your child. This is not an opportunity we take lightly or for granted. We promise to love and cherish your baby, to provide a stable and nurturing home, and to be there for them every step of the way.

We also hope that you’ll want to have a place in his or her life as well. Alejandro wasn’t able to meet his own birth mother until his early 20s; a relationship he wished he’d had earlier on in life. Knowing you isn’t something we want them to miss out on, so they can remain in touch with the root of who they are. For both of us, you are the reason our child is here, and you are very much a part of them. So all the love we have for them, we have for you as well. It’s hard for a lot of people to comprehend why we chose to adopt, but for us family isn’t just biological.

Family is chosen, as the poem Adoption Creed says:

“Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone

But still, miraculously my own.

Never forget for a minute,

You didn’t grow under my heart But in it.”

We can’t wait to meet you.

With all the love we have, Laurel and Alejandro

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Why We are Choosing to Adopt

We’ve always known we wanted to be parents, and it was going to be through adoption. For Alejandro, it’s on a deeper level. Alejandro was adopted as a child and has always known he would be an adoptive parent. He knows this connection will create a unique bond between him and any of our future children, of which we want three one day.

For Laurel, she’s always wanted to be a parent but never had a desire to be pregnant. She also knew she never cared if her children were biologically related to her – so adoption was the path she chose. Our experiences throughout life have taught us that there isn’t just one way to have a family. Family isn’t just blood; it is the love between individuals and the deep care they have for each other. We both understand the challenges our family will face and the unique needs our children may have. But those experiences have also prepared us to care for and guide our children through challenges. It’s not something that’s easy to explain but we both know that this is the path for us, and cannot wait to become parents.

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About Laurel, by Alejandro

All it takes is one moment for your entire life to change. Little did I know that one random Saturday back in college, I’d be meeting my future wife. And the last eleven years together have been unforgettable and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. The day that we tied the knot was easily the best day of my life and allowed us to take one step closer to building our future family.

Something to know about Laurel is that she is devoted to her loved ones. She will go out of her way to make sure that you are loved, and cared for which is evident with how she is with our families, friends, and pets. Her heart is so big and she wears it on her sleeve. It’s one of the many reasons I know Laurel will be a wonderful mother to our children.

Sometimes the world seems overwhelming and I feel the weight of it. Laurel has the innate ability to ground me. Hearing a simple, “it’s going to be okay” from her snaps me out of whatever funk I’m in at that moment. It’s a combination of her soothing voice but also, just knowing that whatever the trial or tribulation is, that you won’t be dealing with it by yourself. You’re in this together and it truly will be okay. She never once questioned or argued about my desire to adopt when the talk of children finally came up. It turned out that adoption had been a part of her plan as well. Her desire to understand and learn more about what it means to be adopted or be an adopted parent never ceases to amaze me.

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About Alejandro, by Laurel

What can I tell you about Alejandro? He is a goofy, kind, and incredibly caring individual. We met in college during our sophomore year – though I didn’t know it at the time, he would become my rock, soulmate, and favorite person. I had never met anyone who was an adoptee. While I knew I wanted to adopt eventually, even as a teenager – I was admittedly a bit sheltered from what it meant and how different families could be. He taught me a lot in those early years, even before we started dating, which wasn’t until a few years later.

But being an adoptee isn’t what will make him a fantastic parent; it’s the amount of love he has to give. Initial impressions and photos make it difficult for that quality to come across. I like to think he stays reserved on the outside because he has such intense empathy and love that it can only be balanced by remaining as even-keeled as possible. While most see his calm expression, I know the love and care he’s shown our four pets through various stages of their lives. I see him sitting on the ground with my niece, coloring with her for hours without complaint and sharing his love of dinosaurs. I know the man who constantly looks to understand others’ points of view before passing judgment, regardless of his beliefs.

No one is a perfect parent. Raising a person isn’t easy, and it isn’t meant to be. But I know with Alejandro by my side, our future kids are going to be okay. He’ll be the one helping them cope with the hard things because that’s what he’s done for me. He’ll be filling our house with laughter and joy because, under the quiet facade, he’s actually quite funny (but not as funny as me).

There’s a lot I could tell you about him, like his passion for all things music. I could tell you about ALL of the legos we have downstairs that he can’t wait to share with our kids, or I could tell you about his ability to pull a history factoid out of thin air seamlessly. But none of that would tell you what you really need to know, and it’s that he’s meant to be a father. It’s his dream, and I believe it’s the path he was born to take. I’m lucky to be able to take that path with him, and I am so grateful my future kids wi

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Lifestyle

Right now, our lifestyle is relatively low-key. We both work 9-5, Laurel works from home, and Alejandro goes in a few days a week. During the workweek, we spend most of our time hanging out with the animals and catching up on shows (or rewatching our favorites). On the weekends, we like to get out and experience life. With both of our parents nearby, we sometimes spend time with Alejandro’s mom at local breweries or have dinner with Laurel’s parents at their home.

Sundays in the spring and summer are reserved for our local farmers market, where we LOVE to get peaches and berries from nearby farms, along with our favorite loaf of sourdough from the bakery stand. Sometimes, we’ll go to a concert, one of the newest Marvel movies, or events at the stadium. We’re big fans of the local sports, though they’re usually on the losing end. Attending a football game every fall has become somewhat of a tradition – and we often talk about what it will be like bringing our kids to those events.

We spend time outside on the deck in warmer months with the pups. Laurel likes to swim at the pool in our neighborhood while Alejandro grills. However – we both prefer the colder months and likely may hide from the heat on hot days. Outside of the day-to-day, we love to travel. We have this dream of visiting every state across the country, and we’ve made a sizable dent. Driving across the country to various states has allowed us to learn about different ways to experience and enjoy life, and we can’t wait to share that with our kids.

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Home & Neighborhood

Our home is not only special to Alejandro, but it also holds a special place in our hearts as a couple. We have spent the last eight years making it our own and creating lasting memories. In anticipation of starting our new family, we have painted the nursery a shade of purple, Laurel’s favorite color. We decorated it with special items gifted to us by our families. We cannot wait to create new memories with our child in this home.

Our neighborhood is a suburban oasis, far from the hustle and bustle of the city. The community is full of new families, which makes it a welcoming and friendly environment. It is the perfect place for families to settle down and raise children. Within walking distance of our home, there is a community center that offers a variety of recreational activities, including a pool, playground, and tennis courts. During the summer, the community center hosts a camp for children of various ages and has a swim team for the older kids. It’s an excellent opportunity for children to make new friends and stay active between school years.

The neighborhood elementary school is conveniently located 10 minutes from our home. The school hosts soccer games during the fall, an excellent opportunity for children to showcase their skills and make new friends. Our home and neighborhood are full of love, warmth, and a sense of community. We are grateful for the memories we have created here and look forward to making new ones with our growing family.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

Racial and cultural diversity plays a significant role in our family. It has influenced our perspectives and shaped our relationship as an interracial couple. Our unique backgrounds have given us a deep appreciation for different cultures and an understanding of the challenges that come with being part of a marginalized group.

For Alejandro, growing up in a white family and attending a Latin American culture camp allowed him to connect with other adopted Latino children and learn more about his native culture. His mother’s efforts to immerse him in his roots instilled in him a sense of pride in his heritage. Meanwhile, Laurel’s quarter-Chinese ancestry and her grandmother’s story of overcoming societal pressures as part of an interracial couple have made her more aware of the importance of respecting and embracing diversity.

As a couple, we have encountered challenges due to our interracial marriage. Despite the progress that has been made in the U.S., there are still people who believe that our relationship is wrong. However, our differences are what make our relationship stronger. We learn from each other’s cultural traditions and values and strive to understand each other’s unique perspectives.

In raising a family, we understand the importance of passing down our respective cultures and traditions to our children. But we also want to celebrate the potential cultures and traditions your child will have as well. We want to teach them to appreciate diversity, respect other cultures, and celebrate differences. We hope to instill in them a sense of pride in their heritage, just as our families have done for us.

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Our Families & Friends

Alejandro’s family story is one of resilience and love. He grew up in Maryland with his younger sister and mother; both he and his sister were adopted from countries in South America. When he turned four, they moved into the house where we currently live. Alejandro’s maternal grandparents soon followed and moved down the street from New York State to help raise them. They were an integral part of his life until their passing, and their memories live on in his heart.

Laurel’s childhood was primarily spent in the Northeast. She was born in Connecticut, and her family eventually moved to Upstate New York during her teenage years. She grew up with an older brother who now lives in Texas with his wife and two children, our niece, and nephew. We cherish visiting them at least once a year and look forward to future family get-togethers with our future children.

We come from very close-knit families and our relationships with our parents have always been strong. We are fortunate that Alejandro’s mother lives nearby, and we spend plenty of time with her on the weekends. Laurel’s parents recently moved back to the East Coast and purchased a townhome about 20 minutes from us, and we are thrilled to have them closer to us as we start our own family. We owe so much to our parents. Their teachings and ongoing support got us to where we are now. We want to instill closeness in any of our children as it’s a shared connection within our respective families. Our parents also were extremely close with their parents (our grandparents).

In addition to our families, we have a close group of friends who are like family to us. Laurel’s tight-knit group of girlfriends, Elaine, Kate, and Mandy, are ecstatic to become extended aunties. They are a constant source of love and support, and we are grateful for their friendship. Our family and friends are an essential part of our lives, and we cannot wait to share our journey of parenthood with them. They will undoubtedly play an important role in your child’s life and upbringing, and we are excited to see their bond grow.

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Family Traditions

As a couple, we didn’t grow up with a strong emphasis on traditions in our families. We celebrated holidays conventionally, with big meals and decorations, but there wasn’t a specific set of traditions that we followed. We’ve found that we really want our kids to have that and are so excited to form memories with them in the future. Laurel’s favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas – though it’s hard to say which is better. During Halloween, she loves to dress up – she’s a bit of a superhero nerd, so the past few years have seen a heavy lean toward Batman comic characters. In the future, she often talks about being THE house to go to on the block, with the best candy and the best decorations.

At Christmas, she really loves to bake cookies—a tradition that was established with her mom when she was young. They like to make a family recipe passed down from her father’s grandmother from Poland. While a bit heavy on the butter, they’re delicious and relatively difficult to stop eating. Alejandro doesn’t have a favorite holiday but wants to focus more on bringing our families together for big celebrations and birthdays. We both had smaller families, and he’s excited about the idea of having a huge gathering (with all of our kids) with a house full of music, food, and laughter.

Outside of birthdays and holidays, Fall and Winter also mean the return of Football and Basketball! While our teams usually lose, and it isn’t always easy to watch games, we always watch them on the weekend. Laurel has an excellent recipe for wings and pizza, which are necessary during this time of year. For both of us, a child isn’t just a way to grow our family. It’s a way to further the joy of life, to experience the small moments, and to create memories. We truly cannot wait to share our traditions with our future kids and create new ones.

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How a Child Will Enrich Our lives

Our lives are content, but we aren’t complete. We are incredibly lucky to have found each other – and we love the family we’ve created with our fur babies. We are grateful for everything we’ve been afforded and know not everyone is lucky to be married to their best friend. But we both have a small puzzle piece missing, which makes things feel…incomplete.

It’s an odd ache that we both acknowledge and know we’re missing. We feel it most days, during the holidays, and in the small moments when we see families at events, we know we want to share. Bringing a child into our lives isn’t just a want; it’s a painful yearning to complete our family, and we simply cannot wait.

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Our Promise to You

We promise to always love and cherish the precious gift you have given us. We promise to create a home filled with love, laughter, and endless opportunities for your child. We promise to honor your courage and to share your story with our child with love and respect. We promise to always be there for your child, providing guidance, support, and encouragement as they navigate their way through life. And we promise to never forget the incredible sacrifice you have made, and the beautiful life you have given us the privilege of sharing with your child.