Ruben and Alicia

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mother,

We plan to be as open and honest about our future child’s birth story as age allows. As teachers, we’re used to answering questions all day! We hope to keep communication open and build a relationship that feels comfortable for everyone, that grows and evolves over time. If chosen, we want to make sure your baby grows up knowing how deeply loved they are, and how much respect we have for you and the strength it takes to make this decision.

Alicia has been able to see this special relationship from both sides: Alicia’s brother was adopted as a baby and came back into her life when she was 30. Getting to know him as he gets to know his birth mother, Alicia’s mom, has been such a wonderful, unique experience. Alicia has seen how that relationship can be established and maintained, and will use that experience to navigate this one.

We are thankful and grateful for you and are thrilled to grow our little family. If chosen, your baby will have two fur brothers, a house full of music, food, and laughter, and a playground across the street. We have a menagerie of friends who will become aunts and uncles, and a great support system of amazing parents we can ask for help. Our village is small but mighty. The more people who can love and support us in life, the better off we would all be, right?

With love,
Ruben and Alicia

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

We’ve always known that building our family might look a little different. Because Alicia lives with Type 1 diabetes, pregnancy has felt uncertain at times, but more than anything, we’ve felt drawn to grow our family through adoption. Alicia has talked about adopting since she was young, and Ruben has long believed it could be part of his story as well.

What matters most to us is the opportunity to love, guide, and raise a child — to create a home where they feel safe, supported, and truly at home.

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Lifestyle

We’re so excited to be parents! We live in a neighborhood full of kids and dogs, with a Youth Center right next door! Ruben’s mom is also close by, and we look forward to her grandparenting. We plan to raise the baby bilingual, as Ruben is from Peru and Alicia’s dad is from Cuba. While Alicia’s Spanish is…not great, Ruben is a native speaker, and Ali’s okay with being outnumbered in the house.

More than anything, we want to raise an empathetic, caring person who leaves the world just a little (or, heck, a lot!) better than they found it. We are blessed to have so many interesting, unique people in our lives who have created a strong support system for us as individuals, and as a couple. We know this cast of characters will help us raise a little one, too.

We’ve taught so many kids over the years that have helped us become better at our jobs, better at communicating, better at understanding others, and better people in general. We can’t wait to see who this little person will become, and how we’ll all grow and learn together along the way.

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Fun Facts About Us

We met at work; Alicia’s last year at the school was Ruben’s first year. One thing we discovered we had in common was our time living in Asia. Ruben spent five years in Thailand, and Alicia lived in Korea for a year and a half. We love trying new restaurants and then coming home to recreate the dishes ourselves (or at least our best version of them). Some of our favorite trips together have been to Japan, New York City, and Spain.

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Our Work

It’s so nice that we both have the same job; we both understand the demands of teaching and we often talk about strategies and how a STEM class and an English class can (and should!) overlap. We also always have a story to tell about our day! There’s so much about our work that we don’t need to explain to the other person, which really allows us to be sounding boards for each other. We’re colleagues who (no longer) work together and we’ve grown so much as teachers because we’re together.

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About Ali by Ruben

One of the things I admire most about Ali is how intentional she is with her day. She starts every morning with a walk, makes time for yoga, reads, journals, and somehow still manages to be in bed at the same time each night.

Ali is incredibly creative — on paper, on stage, and in the kitchen! She can take a look at what we have in the fridge and figure out what to make for dinner. She’s a great cook and easily one of the funniest people I know.

Anytime we’re with friends, Ali gets along famously with their kids. Children always seem to be drawn to her, even the random kid staring at her in line somehow ends up smiling. I have no idea how she does it! She’s also a very loving “tía” to her nephew Cash. She absolutely adores him, and he likes that she brings me along whenever she goes to visit him.

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About Ruben by Ali

Ruben is one of the most even-tempered and calm people I know. I love that we can talk about politics, science, or movies without feeling like one of us has to be right. He listens carefully and always tries to understand my perspective, even when he sees things differently.

He’s intelligent and thoughtful, and he gives me space to be fully myself. When I get frustrated with my blood sugar, he steps in however he can. Living with Type 1 diabetes isn’t always easy, but Ruben has embraced it with patience and steadiness.

I’ve been able to watch him interact with kids of all ages – from his little nephews, to my nephew, to his students. For him, respect is paramount, but he also knows how to set boundaries and rules. He’s a wonderful cat dad, and I have no doubt he’ll be an incredible dad to a child!

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Our Home

We talk often about how much we love our neighborhood. We’re close to so many shops and restaurants, along with a movie theater and performing arts venue all within walking distance. We have great public transportation options, too, for the days when it’s too hot to be outside for too long. While we only have two seasons (summer and hurricane), Miami is a beautiful place to live. People are outside all the time, and the baseball, soccer, and pickleball venues near us are usually occupied during the day. Our part of town is very kid friendly, too. In the fall, there’s a pumpkin patch and Trick-or-Treating events, and in the winter, Christmas markets and a tree lighting that bring everyone together. Our local library is just one block away, with wonderful children’s programming and an expansive kids’ section. Since we both love reading, we can already imagine plenty of library visits with a little one — and stacks of books coming home with us each week!

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Our Family

Alicia grew up with her younger sister, and later in life, her brother, who was adopted as a child, became part of her family as well. Her sister and parents live in Michigan, and her brother and his family are in Texas. Ruben’s mom lives close to us; he visits her weekly and we both go a couple of times a month to have breakfast and chat. Ruben’s little brother lives in L.A. and his dad and step-mom live in Arkansas. While our families are all over the country, we’ve built quite a chosen family around us! Ruben grew up mostly in Miami, and Alicia has lived here almost 20 years, so we’ve got some excellent examples of parents around us, as well as friends who don’t have kids but are excellent “aunties” and “uncles.” We like to host game nights and share meals to spend time with our chosen family.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

We love and appreciate diversity! Diversity breeds growth, understanding, and empathy – and the world could definitely use a little more of those. Our friend group reflects that diversity, and if our child’s background differs from ours, we are committed to making sure they see themselves reflected in the people around them and have meaningful connections with mentors and role models.

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Our Pets

We have two cats — Dorian and Euclid — that we call “the boys.” When we first met, Alicia had a little Shih Tzu named Lancelot. Yes, we’re nerds! Lancelot has since passed away, but Dorian and Euclid keep us busy. Ruben is more of a cat person, so Alicia was surprised by how different the cats’ personalities are, and how much fun it is to have them around. They bring us a lot of laughter and joy!

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Traditions

We believe having dinner together is really important, and we try to do that at least six days a week. We also do “Meatless Mondays” as a fun little challenge and opportunity to try a new recipe.

Holiday traditions vary for us. For Alicia, many holiday traditions were rooted in her relationship with her grandparents, who are no longer living. Now, we have siblings, parents, and family all over the country, which allows us to create new holiday traditions of our own. In the past, we’ve really enjoyed hosting Thanksgiving dinner (stone crabs, not turkeys!), and having people over for game- or themed-movie nights. We also love hosting brunch for family and friends.

We’re also surrounded by people who celebrate a wide range of traditions and spiritual practices, and we think it’s healthy to stay curious about all of them. When we moved into our home, we had people pray for us, chant for us, and even sage the place for us. If a child’s cultural background is different from ours, we would be excited to learn, honor, and incorporate those traditions into our lives. We believe curiosity and an open mind are the best way to learn about other people and the world.

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Our Promise to You

We were both encouraged to explore our interests as kids, and we want to make sure our child can do the same! Alicia has music and theater training and hopes to raise a theater kid. Both of Alicia and Ruben played sports (soccer), and ran as a hobby. We look forward to preserving some of our family’s cultures and traditions, too, like Noche Buena, and cooking Spanish, Cuban, and Peruvian food.

Ultimately, we hope to raise a child who makes the world a better place, someone who feels proud of who they are and where they came from. We want to nurture a good human being who stays curious about the world and the people in it.

Adoption has never felt like a backup plan for us. It’s always been our first choice. We both want to raise a child and we know we will be great parents. Adoption has long been part of how we imagined building our family, and we would be honored to partner with you in that journey. We believe families are formed through love, commitment, and care, not just biology. The more people we can love in this world, the better the world will be.