Jake and Topher

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From Us to You

You’re already doing something absolutely heroic and beautiful – growing a tiny life inside you. As two men we are just in awe of what you’re doing! That you might consider sharing such an incredible gift with us is even more humbling. Adopting a child will change our lives forever, and it’s important to both of us that you understand how deeply ready and excited we are for this huge responsibility. We share so much love, life experiences, and a happy home with each other, and now we very much want to share all of that with a kiddo as well.

In terms of the relationship that we’ll share with you, we feel strongly that it should be based on what’s best for you and your child. No matter how we all choose to navigate this together, your child will live their whole life feeling the depth of respect and gratitude we have for you. We’d love to keep you connected to what is happening as they grow, and are very open to exploring how relationships between all of us will develop and change over time. We recognize that some of this might even be difficult for you to make a decision about in this moment, so please know we’re committed to a lifetime of openness and honest communication. That means there’s always space on our side to hear how you’re feeling and what you want. And if for you at any time the best decision is to step away and focus on your own life, we want you to know that we absolutely honor that.

With love,
Jake and Topher

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

Gifts are meant to be shared. We are so fortunate in our lives – we have supportive families and friends, interesting careers, a wonderful home in a town we love. These blessings will become so much more meaningful when we share them to enrich the life of a child. And in turn we know your child will have so much to teach us. Seeing the world through their eyes as they explore and learn will  be a gift we will treasure forever.

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Lifestyle

There are so many interesting things to do and see. We find we live our lives guided by passions and interests that we’re so excited to share with a kiddo. Our house is full of fun music, eclectic books, and the smells of new (hopefully tasty!) cooking projects. We both work from home and have flexible work schedules which means we can make the most of the day and be present for each other. Exercise and outdoor time are important parts of every day for us so we garden, go on bike rides and runs, and visit with folks in our neighborhood. During nicer weather you’ll even find us eating our meals on our backyard patio. Downtime is just as important to us, though, and reading, meditation, and talking to each other about our days are things we make time for as well.

Fun Facts About Us

• We love foreign languages (Jake speaks Chinese and Topher speaks French).
• We listen to a lot of podcasts on a wide range of subjects from science to storytelling.
• We both grew up in the southwest (New Mexico and Oklahoma), went East for college, met in NYC, and now love living on the West coast.
• Traveling is a big passion for both of us, and we especially love going places where we can ride on trains.

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About Jake by Topher

Jake is patient, kind, and so thoughtful. One of my biggest joys in life is watching how he cares for those he loves, whether that’s his family, his friends, our pets, or even his favorite plants. He’s got a low key easy demeanor that makes people feel safe and relaxed around him.

Jake has an incredible capacity for nerding out. Whether that’s through his passion for bicycling, his lifelong fascination for public transit, or his newest love of Japanese and Chinese teas. He is always learning and sharing his excitement about things that you would never expect.

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About Topher by Jake

Topher is forever curious about people and the world around him, having an extensive number of hobbies, a long list of people that he loves, and a hearty social appetite. He’s got an energizing personality that engages and excites others, and is always the life of a party.

With children, he can immediately meet them where they are, being fun and silly, but also practical in helping them understand circumstances around them and navigate their own emotions.

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Our Home

Portland is so awesome! When we moved from NYC we wanted somewhere that had more nature and more of an easy-going community spirit, but still had great food and lots of interesting things to do. We couldn’t be happier with where we’ve landed in the city – lots of space in a beautiful home, friendly neighbors, and tree-lined streets where it’s safe to ride your bike for an ice cream cone or to pick up a book from the library. On the weekends we’re a short drive away from beautiful hikes, or  stay in town and catch live music in the many parks around our neighborhood. Our block is small and we know everyone on it. People hang out on their front porches in the evenings and say hi to each other on the street. We have annual street festivals and a feisty fantasy football league that keep us all connected.

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Our Family

We’re lucky to have loving families and a large group of supportive friends. Everyone is very excited to help us welcome a kiddo into this community we’ve built. Topher’s mom lives in Portland too, and as soon as she heard we were looking to adopt a child, she asked eagerly how much she could help. She used to be a preschool teacher so she’s already getting a craft corner at her house set up. On our block we have a close pair of friends who just had a baby of their own, and we can’t wait to plan combined playdates with them. We also have multiple family members and friends who themselves were adopted, so not only have we grown up comfortable with the concept of adoption but we have a strong social network of resources of people who we can rely on for help and advice. Beyond that we’re looking forward to introducing our future child to a loving collection of cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, and chosen family who have so much care and support to share.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

We don’t have a preference when it comes to the race and cultural background of the child we adopt. We very much understand that if we adopt a child who isn’t white, there will be important aspects of that child’s life that we have not experienced. We take very seriously the responsibility of ongoing learning, intentional cultural education, and connection that would be crucial to helping that child grow up with a sense of their heritage and be informed by people who share their experience as a non-white person in America.We’re also very open to learning from you about what experiences, relationships, and information would be important to prioritize. That said, we also recognize that we are not the ones who can decide whether we are the right parents for your child. What matters most to us is that you feel confident in whatever decision is right for you.

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Traditions

Spending quality time with our families and friends is one of the most important priorities in our lives, and while we make this happen in lots of different ways, the holidays are a great example. Thanksgiving is a time for us to celebrate our chosen family, making ambitious themed potluck meals, watching vintage British cooking shows, and staying up late telling stories and talking about all the things that have brought us joy that year. Christmas, on the other hand, is a time we prioritize getting together with our extended families, listening to sentimental holiday albums and watching our old favorite Christmas movies. Sharing these times with kids just makes everything so much more magical and fun! We both have siblings with children so whenever we get together with our families we get to experience the spirit of the season through their eyes.

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Our Cat Millie

We are very proud cat dads. Our cat Millie (short for Mildred) came to us during COVID when her pregnant mom tried to get into our apartment during a rain storm. Our upstairs neighbor fostered her through the birth of her litter, so we’ve known Millie since she was only a few hours old. She’s adventurous and athletic, even going on hikes with us around Portland on her leash, and she has a bit of a kid sister personality and loves to troll Jake and tease him into playing with her.

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Our Promise to You

• A big happy family and a welcoming community in a beautiful neighborhood
• Education and learning, lots of new experiences
• Support to pursue their own interests and passions
• Helping them to develop skills and resources to overcome challenges as they encounter them
• A nurturing and comfortable relationship with nature
• A curiosity about other cultures and perspectives
• A sense of connection to their country and community
• Patience, laughter, and unconditional love

In Closing

If after reading this information about us you think we might be able to provide a life and home that you would want for your child, we’d love to hear from you. We’re eager to learn more about you, to connect directly, and explore whether we might be a good fit. We understand you must have so much to consider, so please know we’re happy to answer any questions you may have. No matter what, we wish you all the best as you move forward and make the decision that feels right for you and your child.