The Art of Waiting Well

Anyone who has gone through, or is in the midst of their adoption journey knows that the waiting can be one of the most difficult parts. Whether it is waiting to be selected by birth parents, waiting for your child to be born or waiting for your adoption to finalize, it is just plain hard at times. We encourage you to keep hope while enduring the wait, and while we know there is no easy way around it, we want to offer you various resources and support to help you through it. Use your waiting period as a time to educate yourself and prepare for the abundant blessing ahead. We all have to wait, so why not wait well?

EDUCATE YOURSELF

 Read adoption books – There are so many books and articles talking about all things adoption. These resources can help to prepare you for the path ahead and the realities of parenting and adoption. Here are a few we recommend.

  • The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole by Lori Holden
  • Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber
  • Inconvenient Daughter by Lauren J. Sharkey
  • The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
  • The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
  • All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung
  • In Due Time Devotional (Hope and Encouragement in the Waiting)

Listen to adoption-related podcasts – Sometimes we don’t have the time to sit and read a book, but there are a number of podcasts that address every topic surrounding adoption. You can listen on your commute to and from work or even while you workout or walk the dog. Whether it is hearing from an adoption professional, an alumni adoptive parent, or even a birthmother, these are invaluable resources that can open your mind to all the different experiences and intricacies of adoption.

  • Quiver Full Adoptions Podcast
  • Adoption NOW Podcast
  • Creating a Family: Talk About Infertility and Adoption
  • Twisted Sisterhood

Read adoption related blogs – Maybe you prefer reading to listening to a podcast, but don’t have the time to dedicate to reading a whole book. There are so many blogs written by people who are going through or have been through the adoption process. Their experiences and stories not only have the opportunity to educate you, but also to offer support and words of advice and wisdom. Kindred + Co. is a support network designed for those who are going through the adoption process. They have a great blog and Instagram page that educates and offers support. This leads us perfectly into our next way to wait well.

SEEK SUPPORT

Find an adoption support group – It can be very helpful to find parents who are currently going through or have been through the adoption process. While friends and family are a great source of support, it can be very helpful to be surrounded by people who understand exactly what you are experiencing. It can be a good way to learn what to expect, how others are coping with the wait, and to hear others’ adoption stories. There are so many support groups both online and in-person. You can visit the National Council for Adoptable Children’s website to find a support group near you or do a simple Google search.

https://www.nacac.org/connect/parent-group/

Reach out to your adoption professional – They are there not only to share in your excitement throughout your adoption journey, but also to support you through the times you are feeling the burden of the wait. If you are one of our clients, please reach out to your client liaison or adoption advisor. We know it isn’t easy and we would be honored to walk in that with you. It is completely normal to feel hopeless, anxious, discouraged or all of the above at times. But you don’t need to endure that alone.

SELF CARE

 Enjoy time to yourself – While this may sound trivial, once your new child arrives there will be a lot less time to do the things you enjoy. Make sure you take time to relax before you don’t have the option to. Whether that is making time for your hobbies, spending time with your friends and family, traveling, or just taking a bubble bath, these things can help to occupy your mind and rejuvenate you during your adoption journey.

Spend time with your partner – Like taking time for yourself, spending quality time with your partner one-on-one is really important. Whether that is a romantic dinner out, a creative date night in, a weekend getaway, or just watching your favorite movies together, these are things that you may not have as much time for once your little one joins your family.

Create something for your child – Writing in a journal, writing your future child a letter, or creating a keepsake can not only be an outlet for your emotion during the process, but also a way to connect with your child before he or she arrives. Here are a couple journals we love (both can be found on Amazon).

  • I Wished for You: A Keepsake Adoption Journal
  • Our Adoption Story: The Journey That Brought Us To You

Written by Jason Granillo

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