Bruce

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From Me to You

As parents, all we really want is to do the best we can for our children. I do not know what has brought you here today and I can only imagine how difficult this decision will be for you to make. What I can do is to promise you, that I will raise your child in a home full of love, provide them with support, and give them every opportunity to become the amazing person you dream them to be. I promise that you will be honored, cherished, and celebrated each day of your child’s life.

I haven’t just always wanted kids, I have always wanted to adopt. My career and the financial stability that it provides will allow me to provide and encourage your child in whatever their interests may become. My sister was adopted when she was a baby and we have always celebrated that special day when she became a part of our family. It’s a family holiday that we call “Happy Day,” and even though it’s been quite a few years since she joined our family we still have “Happy Day” celebrations. My sister is so excited to have someone who will have a “Happy Day” celebration and she can relate with them about being adopted. I can’t wait to carry on this family tradition and my parents are so excited to welcome your child into our family that they are already buying presents. They even have a swing set in the backyard just waiting for the day your child is big enough to play on it.

My family and friends are truly a blessing. When I told my parents about my plans to adopt, my mom literally screamed with glee and began planning for the baby’s arrival. She has even started to cross stitch a Christmas stocking to go along with the rest of the family. My dad is eagerly waiting, and calling me daily for updates. My sister Amanda and her husband Jeff are the aunt and uncle you wanted as a kid. They are loving and fun and their positive energy pulls everyone in. Their two daughters, my nieces, exemplify sweetness. The oldest is only three, but she Facetimes me at least once a week for a “Baby Shark” or “Frozen” dance party.

From growing up as a missionary kid overseas and my travels, I have developed a large group of friends who I hesitate to call friends because they are more like a family. Your child is going to experience so much love and so many new cultures thanks to Aunt Michele and Uncle Ronnie in the Netherlands, Aunt Priscilla and Uncle Preben in Norway, Aunt Lacy in Australia, Uncle Carlos in Spain, Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sadra in Ireland, or Uncle Sabo in Niger. There will be no shortage of people to love on your baby. The community where I live and my network of friends is very diverse and will provide your child with many opportunities to see other children and families that look like them. I will include aspects of your child’s culture into our household so that they know who they are and where they come from. While I do not know what culture this will be yet, I am excited about learning about your culture alongside your child and exploring our community with them.

I babysat my three-year-old niece for two and a half weeks this past winter. In the afternoons she would want to have a dance party (I was told that I’m Anna because she has to be Elsa) and we would bust out our best moves for as long as she wanted to go. In the evening she would grab a book and bring it to me to read, but she always wanted me to tell her stories that involved her as a princess with a pet unicorn. When she went home I sat in my living room, experiencing the sound of silence for the first time in weeks and all I could think of is that I wanted a child of my own.

There will be no shortage of books being read to your child, and I can’t wait until they are old enough to have them read along. I will encourage them to pursue their passions and interests. If they want to play soccer, then I will happily drive them to each practice and I will stand on the sideline cheering loudly at every game. If they want to take dance lessons, art classes, or music classes, I will be there to support them through all of it, even if that means I have to listen to weeks of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” being played on an out of tune clarinet.

Currently, I am a tenured professor at a university. A career as a professor allows me to engage my hobbies of reading and writing daily. I always explain my choice of careers as I took my hobbies and zest for life and found the one thing that lets me do all of it. I love what I do and the students I have trained have gone on to make big, positive impacts on their communities. I am lucky enough to have a career and an employer that allows me a great deal of flexibility that will allow me to schedule my life around my child’s. During the summer, the freedom of three months paid vacation allows me and my children to spend time with their cousins, aunt and uncle, and grandparents. An added bonus is that I teach in a university where children are celebrated. It is not unusual to see children of faculty members running down the hall, ducking into everyone’s offices to say hello and search out who has the best candy and toys.

I really love my life and can’t wait to be a father to your child, to love and care for them and provide them with a wonderful childhood as my parents did for me, and yes, to spoil a little as was well.

Thank you,
Bruce

Here’s a note to you from my nieces who can’t wait to have a new little cousin!

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From My Nieces to You

Our Uncle Bruce will be the Best Dad

Dee Dee Bruce is the best. We love Dee Dee Bruce. He likes to play with us and come see us whenever we want. He takes us swimming and to get prizes!

I want Dee Dee Bruce to have a baby so he can be happy like my Mommy and Daddy. He loves us so much, but he needs a baby to take care of and to love of his own. He would be the best dad.

He also needs a baby because we want a cousin. With a baby, we could all go to the beach and to the park all the time. We would have a new best friend too. Dee Dee Bruce would be the best dad, but we would be the very best cousins.

Love,
Malaya (6) and Kerrigan (3)

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Why I've Chosen to Adopt

I met my wife while we were in college, married and after several years we divorced.  I am open and welcoming to the possibility of getting married again, but I do not want to put having a family on hold until that happens. For me the decision to adopt has never been one of “if” I would want to adopt a child, but rather “when” would I adopt.  Once I became secure in my career and finically stable, I began my adoption journey as I have always wanted a house full of children.  Adoption has been a part of my family since before I was born. My sister was adopted when she was a baby, leading me to be raised with a celebration of adoption. My nieces have been the light of my world, and it breaks my heart every time I have to leave them. Each and every time I leave, I think “I want a child.” I want to become a dad and welcome a baby into my life, my home, my family and my love.  Just thinking about welcoming your little one into my home to raise as my child to love and to nurture brings me such joy and makes me smile.  Since the day I made the decision to begin my adoption journey, I have thought about and prayed for you and your child on a daily basis.

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My Home

My neighborhood is an oasis in a big city. It is a small community that backs up to a really large park. It’s the kind of place where kids still play in the street and the neighborhood has a block party for every major holiday. It is quiet and safe, with access to the park and its playgrounds only a few feet away. My house looks out into the park and it is not uncommon to sit on the back porch in the morning and watch deer walk by. The house itself is painted in warm, natural tones to set the feel of a happy and comfortable place. It has three bedrooms. Across the hall from my bedroom will be the baby’s room, complete with their own bathroom and walk-in closet. The main floor is an open space design with plenty of room to play. What helps to make the house a home is the third bedroom. Located on the ground floor, it opens to the backyard and has access to the park. It will make a great playroom when your baby is old enough and will moonlight as a guest room so that their grandparents will always have a place to come stay. It might be a townhouse, but in my neighborhood oasis it has truly become a home.

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My Sweet Pup

Pets have always been a big part of my life. Right now, I have a boxer named Sawyer. Without a doubt, he is one of the sweetest dogs you will ever meet. When I was looking for a dog, I wanted to make sure that I found one that was great with kids and the animal rescue had posted a picture of Sawyer playing unicorn dress up with the foster family’s young daughter and I knew he was the one for me. Over Christmas, my whole family spent a week together and Sawyer followed my two nieces around the entire time. Whenever the doorbell rang, he would quickly jump between my nieces and the door, ready to protect them from whoever was at the door. He has a bed next to mine, but most nights he does his best to sneak into my bed without me noticing and I never have the heart to kick him off.

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My Family and Friends

My family and friends are truly a blessing. My parents, Bruce and Becky, have always been kind and caring. When I told them of my plans to adopt, my mom literally screamed with glee and began planning for the baby’s arrival. She has even started to cross-stich a Christmas stocking to go along with the rest of the family. My dad is eagerly waiting, calling me daily for updates. My sister Amanda and her husband Jeff are the aunt and uncle you wanted as a kid. They are loving and fun and their positive energy pulls everyone in. Their two daughters, my nieces, exemplify sweetness. The oldest is only three, but she Facetimes me at least once a week for a “Baby Shark” or “Frozen” dance party. Throughout this whole process, my sister has been amazingly encouraging. My parents adopted her when she was baby and the adoption was always a celebrated event. She keeps talking about her excitement to have someone in the family to share her “Happy Day” with.

My friends are an amazing group of people. From growing up as a mission kid overseas and my travels, I have developed a large group of friends. I hesitate to them friends because they are more like a family. Your child is going to experience so much love and so many new cultures thanks to Aunt Michele and Uncle Ronnie in the Netherlands, Aunt Priscilla and Uncle Preben in Norway, Aunt Lacy in Australia, Uncle Carlos in Spain, or Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sadra in Ireland. There will be no shortage of people to love on your baby. There will be more family than they know what to do with!

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My Hobbies

My parents always encouraged my inquisitive side, just as I plan to do for your baby. As a kid, I would read books and become fascinated by the worlds they would create. I will read almost anything, from Nancy Drew to Game of Thrones and back again, but my favorite has always been the Chronicles of Narnia series. As an adult, my constant reading has given me an interest in the writing process. I always have a pen and a piece of paper in my pocket for whatever I am working on at the moment. I also enjoy hiking and try to go on a hike at least once a week. I’ve even hiked the 500 miles of the Camino de Santiago across Spain three times. Recently I have started to learn to sail and am looking forward to getting a sailboat that will allow for some family weekends to be spent on the water, exploring the nearby coastal areas and their communities. One of the things that I really enjoy but am pretty bad at is drawing and painting. I took a couple of art classes in college and never could develop much of a technique, but it is still really fun to try. I am a little better at photography and my walls are covered with photos I have taken over the years, either of far off countries or my two nieces and four godchildren.

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What Kind of Parent I will Be

I know that I will be an amazing dad and I will be the kind of parent that:

• Is there to love and support my child in the good times and bad times;
• I will raise them up when they fall and encourage them when they are having a rough day;
• I will celebrate their triumphs and let them know how much I love them and am proud of them;
• I will give my all to my child;
• I will read to my child at bedtime;
• I will take them to practice after school, whether it be soccer, music, or any other activity that they are interested in;
• I will help them find and pursue their passions, teach them to appreciate life and encourage them to explore the world;
• I will be an amazing dad to my child, because I will always be there for them.

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My Lifestyle

I enjoy having an active lifestyle, whether it is going to a museum or on a hike, and each week I look forward to a new experience in my life. Days may be busy, but my evenings are a time to either sit down with friends and family or to enjoy a good book and just relax. Whenever possible I pack up my car and drive to my sister’s house for a long weekend with my nieces. In the summer I take them to the beach or the park and in the winter we go to the aquarium and sledding. I am lucky enough to have a career that allows me a great deal of flexibility to schedule my work around my and my child’s life. During the summer, the freedom of three months paid vacation allows us to spend time visiting family and friends. It also allows us to travel and explore the world in a way that many people never get to. Whether it is a summer in Rome or a safari in Africa, I cannot wait to show your child what an amazing and wonderful world it is.

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On a Typical, 3-Day Weekend

If my sister and her husband are free, I usually drive up to their house for the weekend and spend it playing with my nieces. It is hard to tell my nieces no when they are so cute and want to have dance parties or go to the zoo. Their dance skills are definitely better than mine, but if they want me to dance for hours with them in the kitchen, then I am going to do it. Right now I am planning a long weekend camping trip to take them to see the synchronized fireflies in South Carolina, which I am really excited about. If they are not free, I usually spend the long weekend taking my dog on a long walk through the park, meeting up with friends, and then curling up with a good book, usually with my dog trying to cuddle up with me.

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Family Traditions

My family is big on traditions, though a big part of our traditions is a reason to come together and celebrate each other. Every summer we gather together at the beach for a week. The week is spent playing in the ocean, hanging out by the pool, and watching Disney movies at the request of my nieces. The week is a simple tradition, but there is something happy about knowing that the entire family will come together during the same week every year with the goal of just spending time together.

There are two other traditions that have become a big part of my family. My mother’s birthday is Christmas Eve and so we always celebrate in the least Christmas way possible to make sure she knows the day is about her. As long as I can remember, my dad has cooked a pot of homemade chili and grilled out hotdogs. All of our family and friends come over to celebrate with us. To this day, my dad still makes the chili, but the responsibility for grilling the hot dogs and making the turtle cheesecake (my mom’s favorite) have come to me. At the end of the evening, as my mom opens her birthday presents, my nieces get to open a special present before going off to bed. As everyone is getting ready to leave, my dad and I take turns sneaking outside to jingle some bells and pretend that Santa is on his way.

No discussion of traditions is complete without mentioning my sister’s “Happy Day.” My sister was adopted and her happy day is the anniversary of when she was brought home. Her happy day gives us a chance to celebrate having her as part of our lives and to also remember and appreciate what her birth mother did for us. No matter where any of us are in the world, come September 15th we are hopping on group calls and videos to celebrate. I have always liked getting to celebrate the day with my sister. As a child I even used to tell people I was adopted because I wanted to have my own happy day. I am excited to carry the tradition forward with your child, to celebrate the day that their adoption is finalized and express the appreciation for what you have done for me and my family.

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Education

Education is very important to me. Currently, I am a tenured professor at a university. I have a Ph.D. and three Masters Degrees. Not only was education critical for helping me to get where I am in my career, but I spend my time at work helping to educate others. One thing I have learned over the years is that education helps a child to find their way in life and get to where they want to go. Included in my own educational journey is a Masters of Education degree, which allowed me to take courses on early childhood development. In many ways, I believe this has set me up to be a successful parent and to help your child succeed in their own educational journey. Education is important, through whatever educational path they choose, I will be there to support and help them, to guide them.

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My Career

Growing up, my parents were missionaries in Russia and then in Africa. I got to experience parts of the world at turbulent times that most people only read about in history books. I saw first-hand as countries collapsed, leaving the people in need. These experiences taught me a lot about what it means to have a successful and stable government. That good government helps improve the lives of those who live there. Since then, my career has been about improving the quality of governments and nonprofits as a way of improving the services they provide. Currently, I am a professor teaching public administration, helping to train students to go into positions of leadership in communities so that they can make a difference. I love what I do and the students I have trained have gone on to make big, positive impacts on their communities. Whether it is the classes I teach or the research I undertake, it all comes back to the simple desire of wanting to improve the world around us.

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Cultural and Ethnic Diversity

From growing up as a missionary kid overseas and my travels, I have developed a large group of friends who I hesitate to call them friends because they are more like a family. Your child is going to experience so much love and so many new cultures thanks to Aunt Michele and Uncle Ronnie in the Netherlands, Aunt Priscilla and Uncle Preben in Norway, Aunt Lacey in Australia, Uncle Carlos in Spain, Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sadra in Ireland, or Uncle Sabo in Niger. There will be no shortage of people to love on your baby. The community where I live and my network of friends is very diverse and will provide your child with many opportunities to see other children and families that look like them. I will include aspects of your child’s culture into our household so that they know who they are and where they come from. While I do not know what culture this will be yet, I am excited about learning about your culture alongside your child and exploring our community with them.

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Faith

My parents were missionaries when I was growing up, so church has always been an active part of my life. When I moved to my city, I started attending a nearby church that had been a supporter of my parents since I was a kid. This has been great as it immediately gave me a family and set of friends nearby. I spend some of my free time each month volunteering with my church, helping to manage its finances and working to raise money for the mission’s projects in Africa that my parents are involved with. Every so often I am able to go on a mission’s trip with my church and my parents, which has helped to build a close relationship between me and my family. Most recently, this included a medical ministry in the Sahara where doctors treated people in the day and my father ministered at night.

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My Relationship with My Parents

My relationship with my parents is strong and supportive, and it is the kind of relationship I will have with your child. I know that no matter the situation, if I ever need anything, my parents will be there to help me. Growing up with them as missionaries, my family developed a tight bond between us. I still get to go on mission trips with them every so often, which helps to build that relationship further, while also allowing me to support my parents in their own passions. While we have always been close, my plans to adopt a child has brought us even closer together. From the minute I told them I was going to adopt, they have been nothing but supportive and encouraging. Truly, they are just as excited about bringing your child home as I am. They have even started looking for a house near me to retire to next year so that “Grammy and PopPop” can be near their new grandbaby. They joke about wanting to get a house big enough for all of us to live in, but I know they will want to spend every possible second with my child and spoil them as much as they possibly can.

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What I will Teach your Child

I want to teach your child that there is love in the world and gifts of compassion and support, so I will teach them to help, try, and make the world a better place. When they grow up they will know that, no matter what, they will always have a home to come back to where they are loved and appreciated. I think in the world today, that is something that we could all use more of.

I will also teach your child to have a zest for life and will encourage and foster their creative and independent sides. There are so many awesome things in the world to see, I want to make sure that they are ready to find them and appreciate them.

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What I will Tell your Child about You

My sister was adopted as a baby. Although we never knew who her birth mother was, each year we had a “Happy Day” where we celebrated the adoption. One thing that was always said was that my sister’s birth mother was a brave, strong, and kind woman who did what she thought was best for my sister and allowed her to come live with us. In talking with my sister now, she says that the discussion of her birth mother in that way was always comforting to her. I like the idea of carrying that tradition on with my own child.

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When I hold Your Child and Close my Eyes

When I hold your child in my arms I am filled with thankfulness that you have blessed me with your child and allowed me to be a father to your child. I will do absolutely everything I can for your child and will love and care for them and provide them with a wonderful life.

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My Promise to You

My promise to you is that your child will grow up in a house of love. Every parent, whether it is your or I, wants the absolute best for their child in life, and I will work with every ounce of my being to provide that for them. I promise that I will love your child and tell them how much I love them on a daily basis. I promise to support and encourage them and always let them know how proud I am of them. I promise to teach them to have a zest for life and to foster their creative and independent sides. And I promise that I will tell them about you. I will tell them how you are brave, strong, and love them so much and blessed my life by letting me become their dad. I promise that you will be honored, cherished, loved and celebrated each day of your child’s life.