Adoption isn’t a phase that one experiences for a period of time. It’s a lifelong journey for everyone involved; Birth Parent, Adoptive Parent, and Adoptee. Everyone’s experience with adoption is unique, so as an adoptee, the ways that your adoption will affect you will be equally unique. No two adoptees will experience the exact same…
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On both ends of the adoption spectrum, you may deal with unsupportive family members and parents. Whether you’re an expectant mother considering an adoption plan for your child, or you’re considering adopting a child into your family, you may run the risk of pushback from some of the people you care about most. Of course, finding that…
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There are many adoption choices you will be asked to make during your pregnancy. Once you start your adoption plan, you will need to choose an adoptive family, decide how much contact you want with them during your pregnancy and if you want to maintain contact after you place your child into his/her new home. Unless a court has…
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In most domestic adoption situations, if you want, you can choose the adoptive parent(s). This may be done through reviewing adoptive parent(s) profiles at an adoption agency or with an attorney (where allowed), looking for an adoptive family on the Internet or by asking everyone you know (“word of mouth”) if they know anyone who wants to adopt. Through…
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A common question among prospective adoptive parents revolves around a name change. Should the adopted child’s name be changed? Modified? Or should it remain the same with the exception of the last name? Factors to consider when making a name change in adoption: 1. Safety There are many factors to consider when making a naming decision.…
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When I was making the decision whether or not to place my baby for adoption, I struggled with this same question. Unfortunately, there is a lot of shame placed on women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. We are oftentimes thought of as irresponsible and careless. On top of that shame placed on us, there is still…
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Adoption is often times a beautifully complex journey for both adopting parents and the birth parents. It can be a time filled with joy, love, and hope but also a time of uncertainty, lack of control, and anxiety. Everyone’s adoption journey is so different and unique. When I think of adoption, the word that comes…
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The relationship between adoptive parents and birth parents can sometimes be very difficult to navigate. Although we are going through this journey together, it can sometimes feel like we are in two completely different worlds. Understanding one another can help to break down the barriers that can come up throughout the process. I asked birthmothers…
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“There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life day after day. No matter how many pieces there are to pick up or how many mistakes she must spin into gold.” – Carol Alwill Leyba Placing a child is life changing in a number of…
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We held up our end of the deal, but you aren’t holding up yours. Maybe you are busy, maybe you forgot about us, or maybe it isn’t a priority. But we haven’t forgotten. We don’t want to bother you so we don’t ask. Or we have asked so many times without getting anything that we…
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How Do Birth Mothers Feel Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child How Do Birth Mothers Feel NOT Seeing Pictures and Receiving Updates of Their Child (next week) Open adoption has so many components to it, and if we are being honest, IT’S SCARY. While I can only imagine the fears and worries adoptive…
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I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me “so you gave up your baby for adoption.” I really try to give most people the benefit of the doubt because, unfortunately, there is a huge lack of adoption education in the world. But this is probably one of the phrases that evokes…
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You’ve made the decision to make an adoption plan. You’ve filled out all the paperwork. You’ve chosen the family to raise your child. You’ve attended all your doctor’s appointments, created your post placement contact agreement and now we are all just waiting. I always refer to my hospital experience as the “hospital bubble.” I think…
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I was talking with someone about my adoption journey recently and I was stopped in my tracks by the question “do you think you have fully healed from your experience?” It was a question I had never been asked and quite frankly something I had never really thought about. It made me start to think…
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When we are making the decision to place our child for adoption, and quite frankly for years after, we are sometimes consumed with wondering what our child will think about us. Will they hate us for what we did? Will they recognize the difficulty of the decision we made? Will they be proud of us?…
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