Ask the Adoption Coach: Working with Multiple Agencies

Reader: Do most people work with multiple agencies at the the same time?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question. You asked if “most” people work with multiple agencies at once. And the answer is that there really isn’t much data to verify an answer.First, some agencies do not allow prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) to use more than one agency. However, if it is allowed, the issue many run into is that doing so can be costly. Most agencies have application fees, their own require...

Adoption Story: Worth The Wait

I remember the day of our failed adoption opportunity so well – not just because of the emotional toll but because there was an ice storm in Texas. My husband, Drew, and I had flown to Texas on high hopes. Our birth mother was ready to deliver a baby boy, and we were to check into a hotel and wait for her call after delivery. Up to this point, we had been in touch with the birth mother, and had been for months. She had three children already and this fourth would upset the dynamic, s...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Choosing an Agency

Reader: What would you say are the most important things to look for when deciding on an agency to work with? Do you prefer any over others?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question. A common concern for those new to adoption is how to choose an agency. There are so many agencies to choose from, not to mention adoption attorneys and adoption consultants (or facilitators).Of course, cost is a main factor for many prospective adoptive parents (PAPs). In this area, you need to consider...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Coping With the Wait

Reader: How do you cope with the wait/search/disappointment?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Your sentiments are felt by many prospective adoptive parents. Waiting for the news that you have been referred or chosen can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, disheartening, and anxiety-inducing.It’s important that prospective adoptive parents keep three main ideas in mind while waiting. First, do not allow anxiousness and impatience to interfere with common sense and sound judgment. It’s tempting to allo...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Meeting My Birth Daughter

Reader: Next month I am going to be meeting with my daughter that I placed for adoption, almost 20 years ago. We have met up once before, but in a room with 4 other people. This time it will be just her and  me. I am nervous, but excited. I would love to get an idea of what type of questions adoptees have for their birthmothers, so I can be prepared! I have a scrapbook filled with letters and cards that I received while pregnant, and a photo album filled with pictures up until she was 3, on...