Ask The Adoption Coach: Meeting Our Son’s Birth Family

Reader: We are going to be meeting our son’s birth family for the first time since he was born 3 years ago. We have kept in contact via e-mail. Any suggestions for us?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question! What an exciting time for your family! Certainly, you are feeling a range of emotions. I applaud you for your openness toward your son’s birth family.First, I would suggest preparing your son for the visit. Many kids thrive on routine and predictability, and your son may very...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Adopting a Friend's Baby

Reader: I have a question. We are considering adopting a friend’s baby who is currently in care. Social services are understandably concerned about the level of contact with the birth family as we both attend the same church and we would see them at least once a week which is far in excess of the recommended contact. Any advice? How do other friends and family support group members cope in this situation—we can’t be unique…Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:It sounds like your struggle is two-fold. For...

Ask the Adoption Coach: The Birth of Your Baby

Reader: My Husband and I are adopting a baby who will be born the beginning of April, we want to be present for the birth of the baby. We are in Illinois and the birth Mom is in Florida, our problem is trying to figure out what to do if she should go in labor before the scheduled C-Section. We have figured out flying will probably be the best but if she goes into labor early then what? Any suggestions?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your question! First, one thing that is important to c...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Substance Abuse and Adoption

Reader: I have a question about these kinds of scenarios. Are we as potential adoptive parents made aware of the fact that the birthmom continued to drink while pregnant? Is information like that made available or only if the birthmom is willing to divulge it? How can we know?Adoption Coach:Dear Reader:Thank you for your questions. It seems that you are concerned about an expectant mother’s health, recreational drug choices, and if that information will or won’t be disclosed to you, as a prospec...

Ask the Adoption Coach: Approaching Your Child’s Birth Mother About Prenatal Exposure to Substances

Reader: My 9-yo child is having difficulties, ADD, anger issues. I’m all over it – seeing specialists, started therapy. I was told he tested positive for marijuana at birth, hence his being removed and, thank God, placed with me first as a foster and within a year, my namesake! He had an abnormal EEG today and has to go for an MRI. I’m “friends” with bio-Mom on FB (Facebook), and feel he deserves answers like was it only marijuana? How do I approach it? Do I approach it at all? This is my child’...