Shad and Kerry

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From Us to You

Thank you so much for considering us worthy of being parents. However you came to this decision to adopt, know that we honor and respect your choice. Your bravery is without limits.

Your baby will be a part of a loving family that includes close friends and relatives near and far who can’t wait to be a part of their life. Our home is always filled with the sound of music, a sports game, or the pitter-patter of dogs looking for trouble. We spoil ourselves with books and music, and the thought of our little one poking through the bookshelves or the records to find a new story, or to discover a classic hip-hop or country record, makes us as excited as it does nervous for our tastes to be judged. We’ll teach your baby the value of respecting others, making the world a better place than you found it, the reward of a hard day’s work, and why the only boss they should ever listen to is Bruce Springsteen. Further and without question, we’ll support them in whoever they discover themselves to be as they learn and grow.

We live for a good adventure. Our idea of a vacation is filling a camper van with our favorite foods, a couple of guitars, and enough gas money to get us to a destination that we’ll figure out once we’re on the road. We’re not afraid of a long hike, and you’re more likely to find us at the locals’ favorite restaurant than at a fine dining establishment. We use atlases instead of iPhones and think getting lost is a stroke of luck. When we mean getting out of cell phone service, we mean it: the phones might as well be off. That’s how we have fun.

What sets us apart is that we will raise a child in both rural and urban settings, giving them a unique perspective on life. As an interracial couple, we have learned how to respect, share, and learn from each other and are excited to bring that same approach to a child. And, if we’re being honest, we’re coming to parenthood a little bit later than others. We’ve focused intensely on our careers where we have dedicated ourselves to working hard on behalf of those who most need help. We’ve reached an incredibly fortunate point in our lives that we can now choose how we live and are prioritizing growing our family as part of that decision. Introducing your baby into our family opens up so many possibilities for us to live life to its fullest and to give a child a life rooted in tradition, fun, and opportunity.

Colorado is a truly great place to raise a family, and we can’t wait to share this unique place with your baby. Taking your baby along with us on any of these adventures is constant motivation for us to find new places to return to with them. We’re singularly dedicated to giving them a childhood they can look back on with fond memories and wonder.

We know that none of the above is possible without you and that we can’t wait to meet you. We’re honored to even be considered by you.

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

We have spent long car rides and late nights talking about how we want to grow our family, and each and every time, we decide that adoption is the perfect fit for us. It isn’t a second choice, it’s how we would ideally start our family. We also chose domestic open adoption because it seems to simply be the best way to set a baby up for success in life. No secrets, no sealed records: just a slightly different and special way for a family to, well, be a family. We are really excited about adoption and the challenges and joy that it will bring to all involved. While continuing the family line is very important to some, to us it pales in comparison to what raising a child is at its most basic element: sharing our wonderful life with them and helping them to have a wonderful life, too.

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About Kerry, by Shad

I could write a book about Kerry, but I’d be a terrible storyteller because it’d simply be page-after-page of admiration. Kerry is the kindest spirit I’ve ever encountered. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone who inspires such happiness from strangers, friends, and family alike. It’s a high bar to live up to! Kerry’s family is so resourceful, and she grew up with two parents hustling to build multiple businesses that made her hometown what it is today. She has two brothers who haven’t failed to start their own businesses and memorize poetry (or joke) to drop at the absolute perfect moment. Kerry’s integrity is never in question, and she won’t hesitate to call out injustice against those going through their hardest hard times through no fault of their own. Kerry’s the type of woman who can teach you how to tie a perfect knot to secure a raft while also reciting the history of the nearest national forest, and then the next day take on a polluter in her job and win. Watching Kerry interact with kids makes me so excited to see her become a mom; whether they’re an infant or nine years old, you can tell that they have no doubt that Kerry is on their side.

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About Shad, by Kerry

Shad makes me laugh. All the time. He is kind and incredibly smart and I trust him to buy me a cute dress or weigh in on an important life decision. When I met him, I had moved on from finding love and a life partner. There wasn’t much we didn’t know about each other by the time we went on a first date. It was so easy then, and easy now, to hang out and enjoy life. He loves dogs and exclaims, “Hey, look at that dog!” at every dog we see. He learns songs by ear on guitar and will suddenly be singing and playing a song that we heard the night before. He’s a great cook and makes a mean Pad See Ew. He fights for what is right and makes sure that those normally not heard get a seat at the table. Shad hasn’t had an easy life— he earned everything. And he has earned a lot including the top job in his profession. He doesn’t take himself too seriously — mows the lawn in cut-off jeans he made — but still changes the world— he led an effort to change how voting laws work. And everyone around him adores him even though he can never see it. I can’t wait for Shad to be a dad. He is already very good at dad jokes. I know he will teach a baby girl that she is strong and worthy and a baby boy that he is complex and capable. He’ll teach them history and how to play guitar and how to be a kind person in a tough world.

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Our Relationship with You

Our relationship with you will be an organic process that there is no instruction book for and we are committed to figuring this out together. We don’t know you yet and you are just getting to know us, but we cannot wait to meet you. We have one goal and one goal only: to do what is best for your baby. We want them to know where they came from and we want them to know their cultural heritage. We want them to know how lucky we feel that their birth mom chose us and that they have a bunch of adults that made hard choices in order to give them the best life possible. Truly, we are going to figure this out together. It will be hard, but we are dedicated to an honest and fulfilling relationship that sets your baby up for a successful and great life.

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Lifestyle

The beep-beep-beep of the alarm pushes us out of bed at 6:45 am. Kerry pours a coffee for Shad and makes tea for herself. The morning starts with a kiss as we take in the caffeine. Our cat demands breakfast before anyone else and her purring convinces us every morning that she is right. We both love the meaningful impact we can have at our jobs and take our work seriously. We text each other a lot during the day — silly pictures, Tik Toks, or asking for advice on some problem at work. At night, we cook a good dinner or splurge on Thai food. The dogs then remind us we promised couch time and belly rubs. On the weekend, we try hard to check out of work and go to a concert for a small independent band we love or get out of the house with our books to one of Colorado’s plentiful local haunts. We have a couple favorite bars to eat French fries and see our friends at. Sometimes, we wake up in the mountains and sometimes in the city, but both of our homes are comfortable places filled with pictures, art, and sunny spaces that look out into friendly neighborhoods and gorgeous views.

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Home & Neighborhood

We are incredibly lucky to have two places we call home. One is just a mile from downtown, and the second is in the mountains near a ski resort and the wide-open wilderness. We also have a family ranch that is home to our horses, cows, chickens, and various other furry friends. When we are in the city, we often grab our bikes and ride down the bike lane that is on our street to the coffee shop we love or maybe to a free day at the museums downtown. We live just off of one of the most diverse roads in the city, so we’ll often just take a stroll to see what the city is up to. In the mountains, we hop on the mountain town’s free bus to head into town to people-watch or walk out our front door to go for a hike. We look into a beautiful waterfall and national forest from our little porch. And, our ranch is a treasure we are lucky to have. While we both have professions that keep us at our computers longer than either of us would prefer, the ranch is our second job, and whether we are stacking hay or building fences, it’s a peaceful place to spend time with the dogs and horses as company.

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Our Pets

Our dogs make people smile. Gary and Bill Murray (Yep. Not Bill. Not Murray. Bill Murray) love everyone, and their sweet eyes make each dog they meet wag their tail and each human they meet smile in response. Truly, the dogs have personalities that we couldn’t have created on purpose. Our little kitten, Mogwai, had a rough introduction to the world and we adopted her just after her third surgery to remove her left eye. Mogwai is a smaller-than-she-should-be grey cat with no tail, one eye, and has us wrapped around her paws with her curiosity and lack of depth perception.

In addition to our pets that we share our home with, we have a herd of fuzzy highland cattle, a couple of charming mules, and a handful of gregarious horses. Our ranch is also home to all the wild animals of Colorado and running into a flock of wild turkeys, seeing a momma bear and her cubs, or watching a deer effortlessly climb a rocky hill is just another way we count ourselves lucky.

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Our Idea of a Perfect Day

Stretching the boundaries of time, finances, and distance, here’s what we would imagine as the perfect day.

We start the day early, staring up at dawn after “car-camping” in the truck, deciding that the truck bed rigged out with the best camping gear was the best place to call it a night. One of us cooks up a few eggs and strips of meat over a small fire while the other starts cleaning up to get ready to hit the road. We drive to a small hike that leads to our favorite natural hot spring. We meet some traveling strangers and watch the trains roll by. We pack up and head to our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant for fajitas, but not before stopping by the local book store to pick up that amazing novel we’ve been lusting after. After lunch, we drop off the truck at home and head over to meet some friends to watch the first half of the game, and at half-time, decide that it’s time to see a show. Lo and behold, our favorite band is playing down the street and — whoa! — there are still tickets left! We grab three online and then hop on the bikes to get to the venue in time to see the opening band. We immediately love them and buy their record as the headliners set up. The show ends early enough for us to get home and cook our favorite meal that we usually save for guests, but decide the day’s too good to end without treating ourselves one last time. We put our tuckered-out kid to bed and spin the record a few times as we laugh about the day before we head off to bed.

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Families & Friends

Our phones both start exploding at once and it is clear that one of our friend groups has started planning the next get-together or shared a funny meme that will now start an hour-long text exchange. We are lucky to share great friends spread across the country, as well as just across the street. We have a group of friends called “The Hawks” that started as a “just out of college” group of guys with bigger dreams than bank accounts, and it’s grown to include wives, girlfriends, and siblings. They are the first ones to know if someone is engaged, changing a job, or if a tragedy has occurred. They are the first to respond, always. We try to make friends everywhere we go. Bartenders, baristas, security guards, and janitors are truly the best parts of the places we frequent. If you have an interesting or odd job, we can’t wait to bring you into our circle. We love that each of our friends brings new perspectives after our time with them. Our family is small but mighty. Shad’s sibling is a professor and there is no doubt the two are related since they look nearly identical and seem to dress alike without any planning. Kerry has two older brothers who are still very much her older brothers, and her parents live close by and are always ready to help solve a problem. Kerry’s mother is quite the seamstress and has already started to dig out her baby patterns.

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The Best Meal We've Ever Served

Flank Steak. Grilled to medium-rare, seasoned with herbs dried the summer before, and then rested on the cutting board. Served with roasted and smashed potatoes, steamed sweet carrots, and a heaping wild arugula salad— all fresh from our ranch. And then hot bread, twisted and baked in tear-and-share style so everyone just pulls off a piece of steaming bread that melts butter into golden drips of perfection. We’ve cooked this meal often for ourselves in hopes of making it perfect for our guests, whether it be a mom in town for a night, or a couple of friends who we found ourselves out too late with, we can turn this meal around in about 45 minutes – the perfect amount of time for hungry folks to have a decent conversation or two. These are the types of traditions and recipes we’re hoping to create lasting happy memories from.

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Family Traditions

We start our years off with sushi on New Year’s Eve and a lot of live music in early January (winter is an underrated season for music in Colorado). That transitions right into our favorite time of the year: the three weekends of the National Western Stock Show. We make the trek to the convention center, get a steak sandwich at the Stockyard Saloon, grab a to-go beverage and check out the yards, and then hit the rodeo at the end of the day.

We make it a point to spend the day outside listening to the symphony play classic Americana tunes on the Fourth of July, a day we are now so happy to celebrate our anniversary. We’ll head to the Denver Broncos public practices either getting excited or forlorn for the upcoming season, where no matter how good or bad the team is playing, we’ll be listening to them on the local radio station or watching at the local haunt every Sunday after a typical millennials morning of brunch and cruising the thrift stores.

Later in the fall, we’ll make it a point to go to the Oscar Animated Shorts at an old movie theater. We’ll close out the year with a Thanksgiving Day of movies, making everything from scratch, and listening to records, and we’ll spend Christmas in the mountains with Kerry’s family.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

As an interracial couple, we are committed to raising a child who understands our country’s history, the challenges that life may present them with, and we will always (always!) work to provide them the tools that help to keep them safe. We understand we might not always be able to understand their lived experience, and we are committed to providing them the relationships and support they need to live life to the fullest. We feel responsible for leaving our country better than we found it, and are aware of the systemic racism that exists in every corner of our society, leaving people of all ethnic backgrounds impacted. Shad remembers America before 9/11, and came of age after it as a first-generation Arab American. He’s been denied service at restaurants, called anti-Arab slurs, and was bullied. On the flip side, we’ve been humbled and inspired by Americans of all backgrounds coming together to create a more diverse and accepting society, and we have firmly placed ourselves on the side of social justice. We’re not afraid to shy away from learning experiences, correct ourselves when we’re wrong, and actively work to diversify our circle of friends and influences.

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Our Promise to You

We promise to be the best parents we can be. We promise to listen to you, our child’s birth mother. We promise to provide a safe and loving home. We promise to fill days with joy and create a lifetime filled with bright memories. We promise to cook big family dinners and laugh. We promise to hunt imaginary dragons and make mud pies. We promise to tuck in the little one each night and read Goodnight Moon. We promise that from the first day of kindergarten to the final day of college, we will champion education. We promise afternoons of sledding down a snowy hill with hot cocoa waiting in a thermos. We promise mornings of waking up in a tent and meeting the sun at daybreak. We promise nights filled with stories and wishing on shooting stars. We promise days, weeks, and years of a home filled with love.