Dear Expectant Mother:
We have no doubt that everyone you have spoken to during
this process has an opinion on what you should do, and you may feel as though
everyone has an opinion on who you are. To us you are a hero. You deserve
praise for your courageousness and we hope you feel love and support throughout
this journey, which is something we will do our best to provide. You would be
helping us to create the family we have wanted for so long. We have always
known we wanted to be parents. It has been devastating to have that dream crushed
time after time. You can do something that is beyond our capability. You will
be the hero of our story.
Our story started in 2001. Karen grew up in California. Rob
grew up in New Mexico. In 2000 Rob moved to California and within a year met
the woman he would grow old with. We have been very close and one might say
“connected at the hip” since we met. In 2006 we married. We began trying to
have children of our own but it wasn’t meant to be. Perhaps it is just not part
of our story. Our story will be one of adoption, and we love that idea.
We both grew up in close families with extended family
(grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) close by. Life for your child will be no
different. Weekends, vacations, and holidays filled with family and laughter is
a fond memory of ours and something this child will experience. Karen’s siblings
and parents live near us, and Grandma (Karen’s mom) will be on hand to help out
on a daily basis. Similarly, Rob’s mom lives in San Diego (a little over an
hour away) along with his sister and her family (2 young boys/future cousins).
We live in Southern California, in a culturally diverse neighborhood where we
watch children of all different ethnicities playing and growing together.
Life for your child in our house will be one of joy, unconditional
love, and support. We both feel our job as parents will be to create a stable,
supportive area for this child to experience life and know that your child will
be loved. We look forward to cartoons, after school homework, family camping
trips, and a house full of laughter. We will make sure your child’s days are
filled with skateboarding, bike riding, playing in sprinklers, listening for
the ice cream truck, or whatever brings her or him joy. We want to create a
life where your child can dream, whether that means going to college or
becoming an artist, becoming an astronaut or becoming a teacher, playing
professional sports, or simply working enough to live a happy life ; we will be
there to support and do everything we can to make those dreams come true. We
wholeheartedly know that parenting will have its challenges, and we plan to
face them head on and give your child an environment that prepares him or her
for life, and gives him or her a strong chance for success and happiness.
This whole process is one of magnitude far greater than us,
and to think of you as anything short of the hero just wouldn’t give you the
credit you deserve, at least not in our story.
Rob and Karen