Jon and Dakota

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mother:

We can’t wait to meet you! There is just something different and social about a face-to-face meeting, even if it’s a video call. To truly express our feelings for you and your baby, we think about who you might be a lot and who your baby will turn out to be. It’s all we think about.

We can’t imagine what’s going through your head. Who are these people? It’s crazy, right! I think the most important thing that we can tell you is that we’re here for you and your baby. However you need us to handle this process; we’re here for it and will take your lead. As much or as little as you need from us. We’ll never be in your shoes but we do want to try to understand. We’re both great listeners and would love to try to understand your position as much as we are able to.

That’s why we’re here, at least. Our dream of having children is obviously complicated ( two guys over here hahaha), but that hasn’t stopped us from dreaming or trying. We each come from big, but different, families. And we’d LOVE to tell you all about them. I (Dakota) have my mom, dad, three older sisters, three brother-in-laws, and a nephew. I (Jonathan) have my mom, dad, older brother, sister-in-law, niece, and a large extended family. Family is everything to us, and whenever a family member needs help, we help them and vice versa. We’re eccentric, fun, and love spending time together and EATING! Family to us is THE most important thing, and we can’t have one of our own without surrogacy or adoption. For us, adoption is the only answer because we’d love to be able to help two people (a baby and an expectant mother) at the same time.

We moved here into this big house hoping to fill it with laughter and birthday parties. We have lots of house plants and our dog Piper that follows us around from room to room as we water them. We have dreams of big family cookouts and Christmas mornings filled with hot chocolate and presents.  And we have dreams of traveling the world with our future children, showing them all the magical places we’ve been to and creating new memories in each place as a family.

All our neighbors are supportive and kindhearted. We get along with each of them tremendously. There are a lot of children in our neighborhood too. So that will mean there will be plenty of friends just a couple of houses down or the next block over. There are also plenty of parks and green spaces where we live, and all the children get together to play ball, use the swings, ride their bikes, etc.

To bring a child home into our big crazy family is our dream. Maybe we’ll raise a boy or maybe we’ll raise a girl, who knows? Maybe they’ll play sports, or maybe they’ll play an instrument, or maybe they’ll want to draw or any combination of these things and many more…and we’ll be there to support them in all their endeavors. We’ll be at every single game, every single recital, show, practice, you name it and we’ll be their biggest supporters throughout their life. Your level of involvement will be entirely up to you. We don’t know exactly what you’d prefer, and I’m sure it’s not an easy decision. We can take it day by day and work it out as we walk down this path of life together should you choose us.

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Jon

Jon is an amazing partner, and I couldn’t be luckier. He’s the most understanding, compassionate, funny, witty, handsomest man I could’ve asked for. Jon is very strong willed and the hardest worker I know. He loves cooking for us and is an amazing chef. For example, one time he asked what kind of food I would like for dinner, and I said “Greek”. He then proceeded to look up a recipe and cook a full Greek spread of food for the first time. It was delicious! Jon is an adventurous eater who loves trying different foods. He’s an amazing team captain for the flag football league we’re a part of and a natural born leader. We are in sync 99% of the time with what we want to do for the day or what we are thinking at any given moment. We are happy to just be near each other, even if we are doing our separate activities. I know he is going to be the best father around, only second to me hahaha.

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Dakota

Dakota is the goofball. The mischievous one.  You can see from his smile if he’s up to no good hehe.  He’ll be the best hide and go seek partner….or maybe the worst…we’ll never find him!  He’s the most thoughtful and caring man I know and I’m so lucky to call him my husband.  He’ll be the best father around and I hope to live up to his level.  He’s going to be the best Dad. Mixing the right amount of cautious and fun, I just know our future child will love him.

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Why We're Choosing Adoption

We’ve wanted children for as long as we both can remember.  The idea of raising little ones and having family adventures makes our hearts smile.  It’s our dream to have children.  We hope you will help us fulfill that dream.  It’s also both our mom’s dreams for us to have children… as they love to remind us!

Being two guys, adoption and surrogacy are our only options to achieve our lifelong dream.  And we’re choosing to adopt because we understand that there are children out there in the world that need a loving family. Our choice was easy: to give a wonderful and loving home to a child. We’ve always wanted children of our own, but due to biology and whatnot… we cannot.

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Our Home and Neighborhood

We live in the most beautiful Ocean State of Rhode Island in a friendly neighborhood on the outskirts of the city. Even though Rhode Island is small, it has so much to offer. The state has wonderful forests to hike in, clean saltwater beaches to play at, and fantastic small cities to explore. Our neighbors are fantastic, welcoming, and kind. Our home is a two-story traditional New England style house surrounded by plants. Looking from the road our home is mostly obscured by the massive arborvitae growing in our front lawn. Walking up the central walkway reveals a cozy porch with a swinging bench and rocking chairs. Our home is a magical and calm place to live; with many plants throughout our home, music almost always playing, and our loving dog Piper making sure she is in the same room as us all the time. The only aspect that is missing from our lovely home is a child’s laughter filling each room.

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Lifestyle

We have a very free-flowing lifestyle.  We often live in the moment. We like surprises and being surprised.  We’re very fortunate to have jobs that allow this.  I’m my own boss (Jon).  I own a small local chain of beach concessions and I love it.  I get to work at the beach and with a lot of wonderful people.  And I’m an environmental scientist (Dakota).  I get to work all around New England.  Both of our jobs allow flexibility with work schedules and time off.  Because of this we always have time for travel, dates, time with friends, and exploring places, both in our home city and new cities.

We’re excited for that to completely change with a baby.  There will be so many unexpected surprises, but routine will be a new and welcome addition to the lifestyle.  Days once filled with 2 will be filled with 3.  Date nights will be reading children’s books like The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar and The Little Engine That Could (two of our favorites).  Exploring will be with children’s museums and local playgrounds and theme parks…. although we frequently go to theme parks already.  We love water slides, roller coasters and corn dogs! Mmmmmmm Corn Dogs…….

We’re ready to have our entire world revolve around children.  Jon has been talking about being a stay-at-home Dad forever.  This will be our first and we’re so ready.  Ready for strained carrots, tea parties, catch and oh yes…tantrums and potty training.

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Our Hobbies

We have a few hobbies that have become important in our lives.  The first that comes to mind is flag football.  We play in a local adult league of 300 or so members.  We have a spring and fall season as well as several travel tournaments around the country with leagues from other cities.  The flag football league has become such an important part of our lives and the majority of our friends are a part of it.  We’ve become so close to these people and consider them our family.  We love to travel with them around the country for tournaments, host dinners, game nights, and see each other as often as possible and we hope to introduce our future children to team sports to get the same sense of community and teamwork that we’ve found.

Speaking of travel….we absolutely love to travel.  Anywhere and as much as possible.  We look forward to having children who we can show the world to.  Together, we’ve been to several states and countries. We even got engaged in Paris.  While we love a relaxing day off, we take advantage of our vacations to explore new cities, new cultures, and new food.  And boy do we love food.  We are as adventurous in our food exploration as we are in our travels…we love trying new cuisines and our favorite foods are from other countries.

And we love cooking.  We cook family dinners for each other and friends regularly.  While we love eating out, home cooked meals are a staple in our everyday routines.  This stems from our childhood.  Both of us grew up eating healthy home cooked meals.  There’s just something so comforting about home cooking. We have a few family recipes we’re excited to share and continue to pass down.

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What We Will Teach Our Kids

We will teach them how to love themselves just the way they are. We want to teach them kindness, patience, and how to navigate this world the best that they can. We also want to have them try and be a part of some kind of team sport, their choice of course. Jon and I both grew up playing team sports and we believe it really helps with socialization and confidence. Both of us were fortunate enough to grow up with loving families that nurtured our well-being, so we would love to do the same for your child if you choose to place them in our care.

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Our Family and Friends

Our families are the most important part of our life. Both of our families love, struggle, care, and laugh together. When one of us falls we provide first aid, then laugh about the tumble later together.

I (Dakota) grew up in a home with my mom, dad, and three older sisters. Every time I would say I have three older sisters, everyone’s reaction is like, “oh they must’ve tortured you being the youngest and only boy.” My response is always, “no actually, they took really good care of me and taught me a lot.” I always like to think that I have a bit of each of my sisters’ personalities and traits. We were not well off financially for most of my life and struggled together to make it through. My father was working 60-hour weeks and my mom was working hard taking care of us four. All three of my sisters and myself got jobs as soon as we were able to help our family. Even though times were tough, we all had each other’s backs and smiled together. I’m happy with how I grew up because it taught me resilience, hard work, and that family is the most important thing.

I (Jon) grew up with my mom, dad, and older brother. My parents were easy-going…mostly because we did well enough in school and always had extracurricular activities to keep us busy.  We all got along in the house.  We went on frequent road trips to visit family members in Maine, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and Pennsylvania.  Basically all of the Northeast.  I was equally close to both parents, but also very close to my Grandma, Claire, on my father’s side.  When I was young, she moved to Framingham and I saw her a lot.  We were very, very close until she passed while I was in college.  Some of my favorite memories are my dates with Grandma. My parents were always extraordinarily supportive, almost to a fault.  They still are.  My brother and I can do no wrong.  I’m likely to be a very similar parent.  My parents and I are still very close.  They only live an hour away and we talk and see each other frequently.  They absolutely adore Dakota….almost as much as I do!

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Our Traditions

HALLOWEEN!!! We moved into our home in September 2022. The previous owners had a long tradition of being the Halloween house of our neighborhood, so we are carrying on the tradition! We love handing out candy to the waves of children that come. My (Jon’s) family is Jewish and we all celebrate the Jewish holidays together. My (Dakota’s) family is Christian and celebrates all the Christian holidays together. We love coming together for all the family time, food, and games. Jon and I love playing cards and board games, just the two of us, with our family, and/or with our friends.

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Our Promise to You

Firstly, we want to say that everyone has their journey in this life. Wherever you are in your feelings and decisions is part of your journey, and we respect that. If you decide to choose us to care for your baby, then that would be wonderfully amazing. If you don’t decide to choose us, then we understand and wish you and your baby the best. Just know, if you do decide to have us care for your baby, that they will be coming into a home full of love, understanding, and care. We’ll never let them down and we’ll never let you down. We promise to take your lead through this incredible process.  You’ll set the rules and we’ll have as much contact as you want or don’t want.  Your comfort and health is our priority throughout.  And maybe we’ll even get to make you laugh. Thank you for taking the time to read about us.