Antonio and Jessie

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mother,

We haven’t met you yet, but we already know a few things about you. We already know that you are an incredibly selfless person, and we will be forever grateful to you for allowing us to share in your life story by embarking on this journey together. As a birth mom, you will have a permanent spot in our family and we can’t wait to welcome you with open arms. Our hope as adoptive parents is that our future child will always know how blessed he or she is to have both adoptive parents and a birth mom to provide unconditional love.

Although a little unconventional, we wanted to share a letter that we wrote to our future little one so you can get a feel for who we are as a couple and our hopes and dreams for our future child.

Dear Future Little One,

Just like your birth mom, we cannot wait to see your personality start to develop as you get older. Will you like baseball and video games like your dad, or maybe nature and animals like your mom? Will you be outgoing, funny and witty, always surrounded by friends, or will you prefer to spend your days snuggled under a blanket with a good book and your dog by your side? Will you play all kinds of sports and be mom’s gym buddy? Will you be a straight-A student, or will we have to remind you more than a few times to do your homework every night after dinner? Your mom is a nurse so don’t worry – any broken bones, insect stings, tummy aches or head colds will mean extra attention and cuddles will be in order, along with great care.

We are so excited to experience the world through your eyes, together with your birth mom, as you grow. The magic of putting up Christmas decorations, baking cookies with mom and grandma, and waking up to a tree full of presents on Christmas morning. The excitement of family vacations – maybe to Disney someday? What will you want to dress up as for Halloween? What will your favorite season be? Here in Wisconsin we have a few to choose from – your dad loves the summertime, and your mom loves fall. You have a nice big yard to play in with your neighborhood friends and a big room to call your own, complete with the coolest little nook in your closet – how will your room change with your interests as you get older?

Most importantly, you will always be surrounded by love. In addition to your birth mom, adoptive parents and your dog and cat, you will also have a new baby cousin to play with! You have awesome grandparents who will teach you all kinds of cool things. Your grandma saved all of your mom and uncle’s toys they had as kids and can’t wait to see you play with them, too. She is ready for you, once you are big enough, to help her bake all sorts of yummy things. Your Grandpa loves to work on cars and anything mechanical, and whether you are a boy or girl, he would love to have a little buddy to help him.

As your adoptive parents, we promise to be here at every stage of your life to nurture and support you in whatever dreams you have, along with your birth mom. More than anything, we value openness, honesty, and communication – so even though you may grumble about it once you hit those pre-teen or teenage years, expect to have family dinner every night! It is our wish that you grow up with good in your heart and a strong moral compass to guide you, and we promise to do our best to lead by example.

We know your childhood years will pass by in what feels like the blink of an eye, and we will try to step back and take moments to cherish every soccer game, PTA meeting, band concert, or dance recital, knowing how incredibly blessed and thankful we are that your birth mom chose us to help raise you.

Love Always,

Your Future Mom and Dad

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Why We're Choosing to Adopt

Many, many deep conversations around what family means to us lead us here. We are not currently able to have biological children but we both agree that family isn’t about genetics or DNA, family is providing unconditional love and support to those you care about. To us, being a parent means supporting and nurturing a child and helping him or her to grow up to be a good person and who they were uniquely meant to be, and we are excited for the opportunity to do that. We had very different upbringings and feel that our experiences will help shape us to be very strong role models for our future child. We believe in leading by example.

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About Antonio

Antonio is truly the most intelligent, supportive, and non-judgmental person that I know and I’m so grateful that he chose me to spend the rest of his life with him. No matter what I want to do in life, no matter how crazy or outlandish it may seem to anyone else, he is always 100% supportive of it. He doesn’t judge anyone and always seeks to understand another viewpoint that may be different from his own. I know he will be an excellent Dad and just as supportive of our future child as he is to me. I also know that he will make sure that our child will always feel like he or she can be themselves and can always come to him for guidance without judgement, whether it is for a serious problem or help building an awesome pillow fort. He has a very strong moral compass.

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About Jessie

Jessie is a strong-willed, caring, and compassionate woman. It may sound cliché, but she has been a rock in my life. With that strong foundation I know that she will show a child a world of love, hope, and happiness. From nights working through homework, to nursing a cold, or getting ready for the holidays; she is excited for every bit of it. She loves her family dearly and tries as often as she can to stay in contact with them. Recognizing that importance has led to several trips to Michigan to spend time with her extended family and I’m sure there will be many more.

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Our Pets

Jessie has always loved animals, and from a very young age, would bring stray cats home and beg her parents to keep them. Currently, we have an Italian Greyhound, Vito, and a tortoiseshell cat, Mocha (aka KiKi). Vito is almost 8 years old and we consider him our first child. Since Jessie works from home, he spends his days snuggled on her lap while she works. Our cat Mocha is still a kitten at just over a year old now, and still gets into lots of trouble. She and Vito are great companions, they play together and tease each other – their antics always keep us entertained and laughing. Both of them sleep in bed with us every night, and both of them are also just a little bit spoiled. OK, maybe very spoiled.

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Our Home

Living in Wisconsin, we are lucky to experience all four seasons. Winter can get a little long, but there is nothing like having the perfect snow to build a snowman, coming inside to warm up with some hot chocolate and snuggling by the fireplace under a blanket to watch a good movie. Summers are spent outdoors as much as possible, and crisp autumn days are a great time to enjoy the fall colors around the lake and park close to our home.

We built our home two years ago in a neighborhood with lots of other families, along with some wildlife and preserved land. After school (we live very close to an elementary school and high school) and into the evening, there are always groups of kids on bikes and scooters and adults hanging out and chatting. It’s a very family-oriented community with a great school system, but still close enough to diverse larger urban areas with zoos and numerous cultural events. Our yard borders the neighborhood park. For the last two years, we’ve had a pair of sandhill cranes raise their babies in a pond across the street from us – they are so adorable to watch!

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Our Family and Friends

Family and friends are extremely important in our lives. We live about 20 minutes from Jessie’s parents, so we are over at each other’s houses quite frequently to help each other or just hang out. Jessie’s brother also lives nearby; he and his wife are expecting their first child in the next few months. As Jessie’s brother is only 16 months older than her, they were extremely close growing up, so we are thrilled that our future child will have a similar opportunity to grow up with his or her cousin in much the same way that Jessie and her brother did.

Antonio’s family is a bit further away, but we always get together for birthdays and holidays. Antonio is very close to his cousins, and is a proud uncle to a niece who is a bundle of energy. Growing up, he lived next door to his grandparents, so he spent quite a bit of time over at their house and was very close to them. A few of his cousins around the same age also lived near him, so he was fortunate to always have someone to play with.

We love hosting get-togethers for family and friends at our house. We both find joy in entertaining – it is so heart-warming to see those we care about enjoying the company of each other, some good food, and feeling “right at home” in our home, laughing and having fun. That is truly what life is about!

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Our Traditions

We take turns hosting Thanksgiving for Antonio’s family. Christmas turns Antonio into a kid again, and we always watch our favorite Christmas movies during the season (Home Alone for Antonio and Christmas Vacation for Jessie). Christmas Eve is spent with Antonio’s family, Christmas morning at home, and Christmas afternoon with Jessie’s family where we complete a family puzzle every year. Jessie and her mom always spend a few days baking Christmas cookies to share with family and friends. Vito (our little dog) also usually gets to enjoy a few cookies as well, made just for him. The ladies in Antonio’s family get together every year before Christmas and spend an afternoon enjoying appetizers and crafting ornaments.

In Jessie’s family, for birthdays, the lucky one always gets their favorite meal of choice, followed by a homemade cake complete with candles and a rousing rendition of “happy birthday” sung to them, no matter how old. We can’t wait to share this tradition with our future little one.

Jessie’s extended family members live in Michigan, where she was raised until the age of 12 (including her Grandma, who is still active at 87 years old!). We try to visit them as much as we can. When everyone is together, we have a tradition of “family pizza night” at Grandma’s house, where we order pizza and all hang out and play games. These nights are always filled with tons of laughter and it’s a tradition that we hope to carry on for years to come. Grandpa and Grandma’s house always has an open door policy, where everyone is welcome and the cookie jar is always full of fresh butterscotch chip cookies.

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Our Lifestyle

We try to enjoy the simple things and appreciate the small things that are really the big things in life – get-togethers with good conversation and lots of laughs, holidays and birthday parties, going to flea markets, and enjoying a much-needed evening out every once in a while, whether that includes dinner with friends, getting ice cream with our dog, or going to a concert.

Jessie loves working out – specifically bodybuilding. Antonio got her hooked on it – teaching her the basics and how to properly lift, in addition to being her biggest cheerleader. She also loves nature and is outside whenever possible – running, mowing the lawn, doing yardwork and taking care of our perennial garden (her pride and joy are her 4^th generation dahlias from her great-grandma’s house), and walking the dog. She grew up on a large property in rural Michigan, and spent the majority of her childhood outside playing or “exploring” the woods or the nearby farm fields, camping, fishing, snowmobile riding, etc. She can’t wait to have a little ‘helper” in the garden!

Antonio loves baseball and collecting sports cards and memorabilia. He is an avid Chicago Cubs fan and summers always include at least one trip to an MLB stadium we have not yet visited, as one of his life goals is to visit every MLB stadium. He can’t wait to take our future child to baseball games and sporting events. He also has a smoker and loves to make all sorts of delicious food for family and friends. His smoked salmon and mac n cheese are out of this world!  Antonio is also interested in technology, computers/coding, learning new things, and understanding how things work.

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

We celebrate Jessie’s German heritage, which is easy to do living close to the Milwaukee area. At our wedding, we played traditional polka and most weddings in Jessie’s family include the same. Youngest to oldest, everyone is out on the dance floor when the polka music starts playing!

Antonio is currently in the process of researching more about his African-American heritage and where his ancestors stemmed from. We have been fortunate to tour a few southern sugar plantations, focusing on the lives of the slaves who lived and worked at the plantation; an incredibly moving experience. We celebrate black culture by indulging in traditional soul food whenever we can – Jessie has perfected her recipe for cheese grits over the years, one of Antonio’s favorite foods. She also loves making biscuits and gravy for Antonio.

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Our Vacations and Leisure Time

Every year we try to take at least one trip to see different things and explore a new city. Antonio also loves baseball, so we also go to at least one MLB game if our trip is during baseball season. The past two years we traveled to New Orleans (including Mardi Gras earlier this year). We fell in love with New Orleans – the people, the culture, the food, and the architecture. The warm weather down south also helps during winter! We plan to go back many more times, and eventually our dream would be to have a second home there. This summer brought us to Denver where we visited and hiked Red Rocks along with Rocky Mountain National Park and saw a Rockies’ game. The city was great, and the mountain views were absolutely stunning. We also can’t wait to experience Disney with our future child!

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How We Met

We went to the same small local college at the same time, but never officially met each other during that time even though we had mutual friends. We ended up meeting online a few years after graduation, and after talking to each other for hours on our first date, realized that we must have passed each other countless times in the hallways at school. As they say…timing is everything! We’ve been together since, going on 11 years now and have been married since 2015. We were married by Jessie’s Grandpa, which was extremely special and very important to us.

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Our Promise to You

Choosing us to be included in your journey means that you will become a part of our family forever. We can’t wait to welcome both of you with open arms. We promise to love, cherish and support your child and make sure that he or she is valued and appreciated for their own uniqueness. As parents we will lead by example to teach the most important thing in life: it’s what is in your heart that matters – kindness, empathy, gratefulness and honesty.