Benjamin and Heather

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From Us to You

Dear Expecting Parent(s),

We’re very happy that you’re reading our letter and are beyond grateful for the opportunity to introduce ourselves to you. We come from a loving, diverse, and supportive family and have chosen adoption as the way for us to have the family we dream of. We understand you may be dealing with feelings of anxiety, fear, and so many unknowns. We share some of these feelings too and would like to face these together.

We have always wanted to have children and have both expressed a desire to raise a child in a home full of love and support. We want them to discover who they are through creative outlets like art (dancing, singing, music, painting, and drawing) and sports (both exploring new sports to try as well as enjoying watching professional sports live as a family). Just like we were fortunate enough to experience growing up.

At the beginning of our relationship, we were focused on caring for a sick family member. We spent the first few years working through that with the support of other family members and close friends. We started trying to start a family later in life and even attempted fertility treatments and it took us time to grieve and heal that we may not be able to conceive children on our own. We have several friends who have been blessed by adoption. Our pastor was adopted as a child and grateful for his life and adoption story. We have always dreamed of sharing our lives with a child and learning more about how the miracle of adoption made us realize that adoption is the way our family is meant to form.

Should you choose us as parents, please know that your child will be unconditionally loved, supported, and cared for. We will raise your child in a home where caring and kindness are expressed, where exploration and curiosity are encouraged, and diversity is celebrated. We plan to teach your child the same values that we were raised with: they will always be encouraged to follow their heart, explore their talents and interests, be their authentic self, and know unconditionally they are a unique and valuable person in this world.

We want to express our gratitude and support to you and hope to join you on this journey.

With Love,
Ben and Heather

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

While we feel incredibly grateful and blessed for the life we have, there has been an emptiness without a child. We have so much love to give to a child and know we can provide a stable, supportive home that will shape their life. We want to share our house full of love and laughter. Based on our childhoods, nothing has been more important to the foundation of who we are than the love and support of our parents. We understand raising a child can be difficult, but we also know it can be filled with joy. We cannot think of any more rewarding experience than to be trusted to ensure the health, safety, and development of your child.

As parents, we will provide your child with a stable, loving, warm environment for your child to feel safe to learn and pursue their interests. We will teach your child to be independent and creative, to respect others as well as themselves, find their passion, be ethical, and honest. We also will teach them about their unique culture, heritage, and story.

It’s important for us to teach through our own behavior about respect, kindness, and ethics. Some of our fondest memories from our own childhood are snuggling as a family to watch a movie, camping, or cooking breakfast together on a Saturday morning. These are the types of memories we want your child to have—spending time together as a family enjoying special moments and letting a child know they are always loved, and our love will never change.

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About Heather, by Ben

Heather’s passion for life and optimism stand out. She is intelligent, hardworking, kind, organized, loyal, reliable, and passionate about bringing out the best in life. She is also very creative and enjoys art. Heather has a lot of nieces and nephews, some live outside of the country and speak multiple languages. They visit as often as possible and we would love to bring your child to visit them and get to experience their traditions and culture. Her caring nature and humor shine when Heather interacts with children. When family visits or friends bring their children, she plays games with them, draws them pictures, creates art projects with them, and cooks special dishes like their favorite cookies or pasta. She loves to decorate the house for holidays or themed parties where the table is decorated, plates and napkins, and even the food all fit a theme. It’s always clear what the theme is: Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or ‘rainbow & unicorns’, a tea party, or a space-themed/astronaut birthday party. She loves hosting and creating memories.

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About Ben, by Heather

Ben is patient, kind, laid back, funny, and devoted to family and friends. Ben has three nephews and two nieces who reside locally and is often found playing with them at our many family gatherings. He enjoys playing catch with our nieces and nephews, hide-and-go-seek, video games, board games, and any other activity the kids want to do (even if it’s silly or messy!). Ben enjoys decorating the house for the holidays, BBQ-ing on sunny days outside in the backyard, trying out new recipes in the kitchen, exercising on the cycling bike or treadmill, even joining Heather occasionally for yoga. He has taken an annual trip with childhood friends to go hiking and camping for a few days and has dreamt of bringing his own child to experience the adventures of a short day hike or camping trip. A group of our friends go camping together or ski trips with their kids often staying together in a cabin or rented home. Ben likes the balance of experiencing a city as well as outdoor activities with fresh air and nature.

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Our Lifestyle

We have been happily married for over seven years. We were attracted to each other through our similar interests, making each other laugh, shared family values, and goals. We complement one another’s differences. We are surrounded by the support of our family and friends who live around us. Our parents, most of our siblings, nephews, and nieces also live nearby which leads to many birthdays, family traditions, home-cooked meals together, and holiday celebrations. Laughter is a key ingredient in our home. We try not to sweat the small stuff but instead find laughter, gratitude, and fun in the day-to-day.

A healthy lifestyle is important to us. We eat everything (no special diets) but have gotten good at cooking special food for friends and family who have milk, nut, or other allergies and sensitivities. We like to support and visit local farms which are easy to find throughout our area. We love to cook together and both grew up in families cooking and baking with our parents and grandparents. Trying new recipes and sharing food with loved ones is fun for us.

We come from a sports-obsessed family and cheering on local sports teams is a fun past-time, especially with a tail-gate meal in our home or at the stadiums. Prior to COVID, we went to sports games live and enjoyed the tradition of stadium food like a hot dog piled high with toppings and crinkle fries. Football, soccer, basketball, and hockey are our favorite sports to watch. Together, we compete with one another in friendly games of golf, tennis, or basketball.

In the past, we enjoyed hobbies like dancing (2-step or salsa classes for fun as a couple and modern dance and ballet for Heather). We like to stay active by spending time outdoors, and taking advantage of the many parks, mountains, and outdoor activities surrounding our area,. We both grew up playing outdoors and did not have the number of long hours watching TV, playing video games, and screen time that technology offers today, so we hope to encourage play and activity in the fresh air.  Our backyard is large and fenced with a grass lawn and area where we would like to install an outdoor play structure. We both feel that spending time together as a family or one-on-one with a parent and child are the most important gifts we can give.

Throughout the week, we enjoy a good cup of coffee on a morning walk. We feel blessed we found jobs that we both really enjoy and allow for a flexible schedule. Heather works primarily from home and Ben flexes between working at home and going into the office. Throughout the day, Heather takes the dogs for a walk. We look forward to the change of seasons throughout the year and always decorate the house to celebrate holidays.

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Home & Neighborhood

Our home is in a suburb in Washington. We live near multiple parks, lakes, and a short drive to beaches and mountains. Our two-story home is new construction with lots of space for a little one to have their own room, own bathroom, playroom, and a fenced backyard with a playset. The playroom is perfect for setting up a magical tent to play under, a crafts table, coloring easel – a room for your child to be creative and play in. We live on a quiet street with a cul-de-sac where our neighbor’s young kids often ride bikes, draw with chalk on the ground, and play games. The majority of our neighbors all have young children and it would wonderful to join the neighbors with your child in a stroller, walking together to a local park and playground or letting them color on the sidewalks and cul-de-sac with chalk. Our community is safe, full of families, and has excellent public and private schools. It is also a culturally diverse neighborhood with families often out walking with strollers, dogs, or going for a jog. We have a furnished nursery with a crib, changing table, rocking chair and the room has a large picture window that fills the room with light and we have shades and a night light for evening. The playroom is connected to the nursery. We can’t wait to make every day special for your child, full of hugs and snuggles as they play and nap during the day and giving them a warm bath at night before bed.

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Our Dogs, Ozzie & Bella

We have two English Staffordshire Bull Terriers, Ozzie and Bella. Ozzie enjoys lounging anywhere that is a comfortable spot like the couch, your lap, or a pile of blankets. Both dogs enjoy running in the backyard, playing with toys, and cuddling. Bella likes to chase her big brother around the backyard. Our dogs love family members and are gentle and play well with kids, even our rambunctious young nephews who drop LEGOs and action figures on them! Our dogs can be found around the house napping in various spots like Heather’s office, the living room couch, or in a sunny spot with the sun shining through a window.

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Our Faith

Both of us were raised as Christian. We attend a local church, though with COVID our attendance and interactions have all been online. Typically, we attend the Sunday service and greet friends that attend the same church to catch up on their week. We have participated in small community groups through the church in the past. There are groups that get together through a common interest like a sport or hiking club, or inter-generational to do a study together, or other couples similar in age to us that get together twice a month to share a meal. There is even a new parent and adoptive family group that we can’t wait to join to gain support and hear about others’ experiences and perspectives. There are many members of the church who have blended families, including adoption, or parent groups for support and shared resources. We will raise your child to know that they are loved, that they were created as a unique individual with their own talents and abilities, and that they matter in this world.

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Our Families & Friends

We have tremendous support from family, friends, and the community in our area. Our parents live close to our home. Around the time of our marriage, Ben’s father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was a wonderful father, friend, and coach and we miss him. Ben grew up in a household filled with love, support, and laughter. His mom lives nearby and is supportive of our adoption journey and excited for a new grandchild to spoil. We live just minutes from both sets of Heather’s parents and routinely meet up for meals or a visit. The grandparents can’t wait to welcome your baby into our family.

Ben’s brothers and their wives, many nieces and nephews, and extended family all live nearby too. We enjoy gathering together for holidays, birthdays, or just meeting up. We try to get together as often as possible. There are 8 young nieces and nephews who are looking forward to a new cousin to join in the family fun. All of the Aunts and Uncles are very open to sharing parenting advice, and openness to what they have learned being parents. Almost all of our friends are parents too and they can’t wait to welcome your child into our friendly family.

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Family Traditions

We are both so excited to welcome a son or daughter into our home! We look forward to taking on the responsibility of caring 24/7 for a little one. Our work allows plenty of time off to care for a newborn and stay at home with them for much of the first year of their life. We will share family traditions like bedtime stories, playing with cousins, making each holiday and birthday special for him or her, and when they are older, Disney movie nights snuggling on the couch with a giant shared plate of snacks (a family pastime passed down from grandparents). It’s like a movie theatre and sleepover at home!

We love holidays and always decorate the house as part of celebrating and creating a festive environment. We celebrate Christmas, but have friends and family who celebrate other winter holidays as well and often share their traditions through food. We hang Christmas lights on the house, decorate a tree, hang stockings above the fireplace, and deck the inside out. We are excited to build memories baking and decorating Christmas cookies with your child, likely alongside their cousins all making cookies together. Every Christmas Eve, we attend a candlelight church service and have a giant family dinner, often sharing food with neighbors who stop by to sing Christmas carols. We want to bless your child with the same warm holiday memories that we grew up with. For Valentine’s Day, Heather has some Valentine-themed pillows and small décor for the house and often bakes a Valentine-themed dessert to share with friends. Your child will be one of those kids who goes to school with a Valentine’s themed dessert like cupcakes or heart-shaped jam cookies to share with the teacher and students! Heather’s family celebrates Lunar New Year. We celebrate Easter (which is the grandparent’s favorite holiday next to Christmas to spoil the grandchildren with Easter egg hunts and Easter baskets). We often host a large family BBQ for the Fourth of July and watch a fireworks display that local cities put on. We like to support and visit local farms in our area. In the Fall, many of the local farms have pumpkin patches and we want to start an annual tradition that we experienced as children where we bring your child to pick out a pumpkin, eat homemade pumpkin pie and chili, drink apple cider, and take a hayride. We want to carve pumpkins as a family and go trick-or-treating with a group of friends and neighbors. For Thanksgiving, the family rotates who hosts and it’s always a time filled with a traditional Thanksgiving spread and football. It’s these memories and family traditions that made our childhood so fun and memorable and we want the same special memories for your child.

We look forward to introducing your child to the beautiful area we live in with stroller walks (and later walking or bike riding) with views of mountains and lakes. We also look forward to helping them pursue whatever interests they choose so they know the joy of exploring different hobbies and interests and providing an outlet for their natural talents and abilities.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

Our family is a blend of Asian, Eastern European, and Scandinavian ethnicities with various religious beliefs and practices. We value diversity and want to teach inclusion to your child and ensure they have every resource they need to be treated equally, with respect, and ensure their overall well-being and safety. We celebrate racial and cultural diversity in our own lives through our friends of different races and ethnicities and their family traditions. We also enjoy traveling and experiencing different locations and cultures firsthand. We hope to bring your child along with us so they are exposed to diversity and appreciate the beauty and uniqueness in the world as we do.

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Education & Our Careers

With our personalities, we are both natural learners and enjoy research and education. We are all about reading parenting books, listening to podcasts, reading blogs from respected experts or other recommended sources in addition to what friends and family share.

We both come from families that value education and have family members that are teachers. Graduating from college is the expectation in both our families. We both have college degrees and advanced training in our respective fields. Heather has built her career based on her passion for design and marketing. Ben followed his passion for community service.

COVID has largely changed our work schedules. We are both currently working from home and have the benefit to work from home and enjoy free time with your baby for the first year of their life. We look forward to reading them books, teaching them to read, playing games, and snuggling with them. We see the most valuable education as spending time with a child and modeling by example. If additional help is ever needed with a particular subject in school or other learning challenges, we would be hands-on parents and hire a tutor or use the option of special classes to help your child with any struggles.

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Vacations and Leisure

Our weekends are typically filled with family events, supporting our local professional sports teams, exploring new restaurants, or visiting old favorites. In nice weather, we walk to the local farmer’s market to buy fresh vegetables, jams, or other staples. We also spend time with our dogs by taking walks around the neighborhood or local parks, exercising, cooking, and taking short getaways to Airbnbs or resorts in local towns or the mountains.

Our most recent vacation was taking a boat to a nearby town. We typically go to this location every year to have a relaxing getaway. We like the quiet time in nature and small-town feel of the local community. We also enjoy getting together with family and friends at some of our favorite spots for a relaxing getaway filled with food and a spa. Our favorite destinations include Hawaii, New Zealand, and Mexico. Once we have a child, we want to spend the first year spending time with them and are expecting to put vacations on hold for a period. When they are old enough, we want to share new experiences with them and take family vacations to places like Disneyland, local get-aways, and trips to other countries.

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What We Will Teach

We will create a stable, loving, warm environment for your child to feel safe to learn and pursue their interests. We also hope to teach your child to be independent and creative while providing structure and responsibility. We plan to teach him or her respect, compassion, and will support their unique interests. To respect others as well as themselves and to find their passion, be ethical, and honest. We also will teach them about their unique culture, heritage, and story. We plan to instill the importance of education. It’s important for us to teach through our own behavior about respect, kindness, and ethics. We will set some limits on screen time and offer them a variety of interactive activities to explore like coloring/drawing, playing outside, learning a musical instrument, and more. Some of our fondest memories from our own childhood are snuggling as a family to watch a movie, camping, or cooking breakfast together on a Saturday morning. These are the types of memories we want your child to have—spending time together as a family enjoying special moments. We have discussed a philosophy and approach that balances letting a child know they are always loved, and our love will never change, but also instilling a sense of discipline and personal responsibility that we were both raised with.

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Our Relationship with You

We believe that an open adoption is in the best interest of your child and would love to create a relationship that you are comfortable with. We want you to know your child is being loved, provided for, and have a sense of peace that you made the right decision for your family. We will share as much as you are comfortable with us sharing. We want to be open with your child so they grow up knowing their adoption story and have a full sense of their identity.

Our family is excited and supportive of our decision to adopt and can’t wait to bring the newest member into the family story, which we hope you will be part of too. We want your child to know their adoption story through an open adoption in any way that you are comfortable. Your child will know they are loved by both their birth parents and adoptive parents.

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Our Thoughts When We Imagine Meeting Your Baby

Empathy and gratitude. We will think of the sacrifice you went through to make our parental dreams come true. We want you to know your child will always be loved, nurtured, and supported. We appreciate that you have trusted us to care, love, and support your child. While we cannot pretend to know the depth of the sacrifice you have made out of love for your child, we will forever be grateful. Your child will know they are loved by both their birth parents and adoptive parents.

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Our Promise to You

We promise that your child will know unconditional love.

We promise your child will know our love for them and the love you have for them.

We promise your child will be in a safe, supportive environment and will always be cared for and come first.

We promise your child will receive an education and be supported in whatever hobby or passion that inspires or interests them.

We promise they will be comforted when they are sad and cared for when they are ill.

We promise we will never take your sacrifice for granted. We promise you will have a role in their lives to the extent you are comfortable with.