Stephen and Devin

>

<

From Us to You

What do you love about life? What do you hope your child will love about life?

For us, the answer is the simple, everyday experiences that ultimately lead to lifelong memories of happiness. These experiences don’t have to be elaborate or expensive; instead, they are just moments where all the senses and emotions of the scene are held in this precious instant of time. It is these scenes that we will carry with us throughout the remainder of our lives and will remind us of how great life is when times are tough. Finding out you have chosen us to share in the miracle of life with your baby will become one of these scenes ‘out of time’ in our lives, where we will remember the feeling of nervousness, but utter excitement that we will soon be fathers.  It will be a moment that we will forever cherish in addition to all the other moments we hope that we and your child will have together.

We promise you that we will love your child as much as humanly possible. When we talk about how we would raise a child, it is impossible to not think about all the experiences we had when we were young and how those memories continue to put a smile on our face when they pop up in our head from time to time. Those are the kind of moments that we can only hope to give a child. We imagine taking them to the park every day to play on the swings, late nights at Disneyland where they are in awe of how spectacular fireworks can be, walking with them to their first day of school and listening to them contently about how their day went when we go to pick them up and, of course, embarrassing them as we cheer as loudly as possible during their sports games. We live in Southern California where the sun shines brightly almost every day and provides us ample opportunities to teach a child something new, while building lasting memories.

Throughout our lives, we both have been met with trials and tribulation stemming from who we chose to love or what paths we decided to walk in life. We want you to know that your child will be raised in a home without fear of expressing themselves in their most authentic way. They will be given all of the emotional support and every tool imaginable to follow their heart’s desire and will receive all the support and strength to achieve their dreams along the way. We would raise your child in a home without the judgment and boundaries we witnessed, but at the same time, we would raise them to seek out and embrace challenges in life; to push the bar a little higher, to strive to make the world just a little bit better for those around them.  And in those instances where life seems to come crashing down, our hope is to have given your child so many fun and joyful experiences that it cushions the blow and reminds them that his or her parents love them so much and would do anything for them.

Even though we have never met, we want to thank you for even giving us your consideration. This will probably be the most difficult decision you make in your life, but just know that your decision will give us something that we never thought would be possible and, for that, we will be forever grateful. Your selflessness and generosity are two attributes that we will strive to instill in your child.

Thank you again and we wish you the best throughout your journey.

Stephen and Devin

>

<

Why We're Choosing to Adopt

This is a difficult question to answer in anything other than a long drawn-out story. The most obvious answer is that, well, a natural pregnancy isn’t exactly an option for us as a gay couple. Surrogacy presents an interesting option, but when it comes down to it, we both believe that adoption will not only satisfy our objective of becoming parents but could also give opportunities to a mother and child that they might not have had.  The underlying decision to have a child is best summarized as we are ready, and we are inspired. The biggest inspiration for us has been the birth of our niece in 2017. While we’re sure every parent is nervous about their first child, we have gained insight from her upbringing, seeing her parents’ struggles, moments of pride, and everything between, which has given us the confidence to say that we are ready. The greatest inspiration by far has been witnessing what a child can bring to a family. It is that bond and those feelings of happiness and love, that motivate us to want to start a family.

>

<

About Stephen

Stephen is unwavering in doing what is right in any situation and never gives up when facing a challenge. His dedication has led to amazing success in his career and even graduating college in only 2.5 years. Even with all his success, he maintains his humbleness and has a passion for helping others, which led him to become a Firefighter/Paramedic. He goes above-and-beyond every single day. To me, he is my superhero – but he is also able to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, such as riding rollercoasters or playing Pokémon after a long shift. His ability to see the best in others – plus being a superhero – is what has always attracted me to him. Sometimes this passion can make him a bit stressed, after all it isn’t easy being a superhero, which is where I come in, (and bring him various cakes or desserts) a calming voice and listening ear. With all this life experience, Stephen will be an amazing dad because he understands how to excite and empower people to be their best, particularly your child. Whether that means helping them learn a new song on the piano, baking them cookies because they had a tough day, or giving them a helping hand in the swimming pool, Stephen has the instinct and empathy to be a great parent. He also appreciates the value of hugs, family time, and shared memories, and is never afraid to show affection and pride for family and would never hesitate to share this love with your child.

>

<

About Devin

Devin was born in Boise, Idaho, and I consider myself the luckiest person in the world that he somehow found his way to California. He is very intellectual and is super handy when it comes to fixing things. Devin has always been there for me, through my ups and downs, and I will always appreciate how generous and understanding he can be. We have been married for 7 years now, and it always amazes me that he still laughs at my firefighting stories, even though it feels like I’m just repeating myself all the time. He does a spectacular job of finding the balance between being an adult and letting his inner child come out. Devin will be an amazing father because of how great he is around kids. He doesn’t take himself too seriously and allows himself to just have fun around them. When he taught swimming lessons before, he loved goofing around with the kids and always made them smile. I can easily see him happily running around with your child or watching cartoons along with all their stuffed animal pals. Devin has a very patient and easy-going nature that will go a long way when teaching your kid things like how to turn a wrench, the fundamentals of algebra, or even how to make the right decisions in life.

>

<

Home

Our home is a beautiful two-story house on about an acre of land in beautiful Southern California and is the perfect place to raise a child. The community is quiet and ‘off the beaten path.’ Its surroundings offer plenty of room for a kid to just be a kid, whether exploring the various water features around the house for tadpoles and frogs, playing Cornhole or Pickleball with the kids down the street, or having one crazy, drawn-out game of hide-and-seek or tag around the house. We honestly cannot wait to sit by the fire pit on the chillier nights with your child and just talk about how their day went or have a backyard barbecue with the whole family as we enjoy the amazing view of the mountains. The inside of the house has a cozy downstairs for your child and us to play video games or just unwind from the day with episodes of Scooby Doo or whatever is on Disney+. The house has plenty of spare rooms for Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends so that nobody has to drive home after a family dinner or a late night of board games. One of the spare bedrooms will be turned into a nursery when the time arrives. We look forward to holding your child in our arms or reading a bedtime story to them as the walls are decorated with rockets and stars, or an underwater theme with plenty of sea creatures, or a rainforest with birds and monkeys, or whatever your child desires. And on the days that we just so happen to decide to venture outside of the house, we both are so excited about spending the day with your child looking through the tidepools, lounging at the beach, hiking to get a panoramic view of the Pacific Ocean, eating Dole Whip at Disneyland, or just sliding down the slides at the many playgrounds that surround us.

>

<

Our Sweet Pup

We have a 12-year-old Welsch Corgi named Toby, whose sister was owned by Stephen’s brother. Toby was trained well as a puppy and is still extremely intelligent and obedient even in his golden years. He gets very excited around people but is very mellow and sleeps most of the day. Corgis were bred as herding dogs, so sometimes he does think we are cattle needing herded, specifically toward treats or toys it seems. Toby has always been great around kids and loves when the kids in the neighborhood run up to pet him.

>

<

Our Families

We both grew up with strong family connections and continue to maintain them. Both of us are fortunate enough to still have our parents as positive forces and mentorship in our lives. All our parents are retired now (meaning they are always looking for things to do!) and are always either a quick drive or a phone call away. Stephen’s parents still live in his hometown here in California, and Devin’s parents split their time between California and Idaho. They are all still healthy, involved, and selfless individuals, who will always go out of their way for their children. They have also shown great interest in being a continued part of our lives, including being grandparents to your child.

Stephen has a twin brother who is expecting his first child later this year. He is an elephant trainer at the Wild Animal Park, and his wife is a marine biologist. Because they are twins, he and Stephen have always had a special connection and continue to look out for one another. Stephen also has an older sister, who has a 5-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. Stephen’s brother-in-law and sister are awesome individuals who are terrific with kids and are always willing to help out. He is a radiologist, and she is a veterinarian. Stephen’s parents and siblings all live close by and we see them very often. Stephen also has an extended family, which is his fellow firefighters. Because he spends a good amount of time at the firehouse, his co-workers have become lifelong friends who are more than happy to have kids over to the fire station in addition to guiding Stephen and Devin into the journey of parenthood.

>

<

How We Met

We met, as more and more people do, online. After chatting and getting to know each other for some time, we decided to meet for the first time on a Friday evening. We agreed to meet at a Chipotle for dinner, but right before arriving, Stephen called to say that there was an IHOP next door that he would rather visit. He justified going there as ‘carb loading’ for a triathlon he had the next day.  We agreed, met up, and had our first date in the IHOP and I had never seen someone consume that many pancakes in one sitting.  Despite being horrified by the pancake intake (and uncertain about this upcoming ‘triathlon’), both of us decided to go on a second date, but this time to see a movie instead! The rest is, well, history.

>

<

Our Lifestyle

Stephen works a schedule where he is on for 2 days and off for 4 days as a Firefighter-Paramedic, and Devin works a normal nine-to-five job as a mechanical engineer. The differing work schedule means that somebody is home almost all the time, but it can make it difficult to find time together, which is why we have learned to cherish it when we do get the chance. Stephen does most of the cooking and Devin does most of the handy work around the house. For childcare, this schedule works great, since there is always somebody here to run around with your child, make sure lunches and dinners are made, and naps are taken.

We try to keep life and ourselves lighthearted and joyous whenever possible. We love going to theme parks, building Legos, watching superhero movies, and basically anything that reminds us that we are all still young at heart. We also both have a shared passion for fitness, music, and of all things…cactus and succulents. On our days off, we might spend an entire afternoon working on our backyard or just enjoying it in the California sunshine. When we have a child, we imagine sharing this time together and teaching them about our passions. We can only hope they love gardening with cacti and succulents as much as we do. At the same time, we look forward to doing a little less yard work and spending a little more time at the beach or at the park.

We both played different musical instruments when we were younger, and we are rekindling our love of music by relearning the piano. Our love of music is something we will also share with your child.

Finally, we believe that family and friends are very important, and we try to find as many activities to do with them as often as possible, even if it’s just dinner together. We also love playing board games, video games, or cards, or just watching either a good scary movie or the latest Marvel or Star Wars movies with family and friends.

>

<

Family Traditions

We still believe in the value of honoring both cultural and family traditions. In both of our upbringings, holidays were celebrated as a family and continue still to this day. We both love adding decorations to our house for Halloween and Christmas, and when we have a child, we will be more inclined to go all out with Christmas lights or Halloween costumes. Even though it can be hard to get every family member in the same place at one time, one tradition we have is always hosting dinner at our house for either Christmas or Thanksgiving. Stephen loves cooking for the entire family because he has a firm belief that there is no better way to show that you care for someone than by feeding them a great meal. He spends days thinking about an awesome menu and prepping for the big day. Each year that we do this, 3 things happen. The first is that that even though we tell our family to not to bring anything, every person brings something, which makes the spread that much more amazing and causes a leftover extravaganza at the end of the night. Second, Devin will most certainly burn one of the dishes. And third is that Stephen will undoubtedly get in over his head in the kitchen because he is making way too many things at the same time and can’t concentrate with the kids running around, trying to salvage what Devin burned, Toby barking, and his dad attempting to play the piano. But just as he is about to reach his tipping point, his mom always comes to the rescue at the perfect time because she of course taught him everything he knows. No matter what happens, when the table is set and it all comes together, we’re grateful to have the opportunity to be with our family. Lastly, no meal would be complete without an amazing dessert to celebrate every birthday and special occasion that the family might not have been able to get together for during the past few months.

And just like the holidays, we both have always believed in eating dinner together as many days as possible. Life can get very hectic, but dinnertime has always been a time where we can unwind, talk about our day, and share a few laughs. We can’t wait to have a child to not just spend our holidays with, but just to have that feeling of togetherness each and every day. We picture a life where we are sitting down to a lasagna and your child is telling us what they learned in school that day, or how they scored the winning goal at their soccer game, or how they saw a cat stuck in a tree, but the firefighters were able to get it down.

>

<

Why We want to be Dads

Having a child is the ultimate realization that life isn’t just about the two of us anymore, but about doing everything we can and providing every opportunity possible for your child. The way our parents have described it is…. that for all the challenges, there is something about watching your child take their first step, complete their first day of school, learn to share, graduate high school, get their dream job, marry the love of their life, and all of the other major or minor successes of their life that brings you a sense of happiness and pride that nothing else in the world could ever bring. We would love nothing more than to experience that happiness and pride. We love our life right now, but we are both ready to fill our time with sports games, back to school nights, sleep overs, play dates at the park, and vacations to Disney World

>

<

Our Promise to You

We promise to do everything in our power to nurture, support, and love your child through all of life’s ups and downs. We will give them every opportunity to shine in their own unique way; guiding them through the challenges, and cherishing the moments of success and joy. We also promise to sustain this for the rest of our days and without doubt or hesitation. We promise to be there to pick them up from school every day, but to still be a little goofy doing so – we can’t let them not be a little embarrassed of their parents at least! Most of all, with all the love and support provided, we promise to raise your child to be honest and trustworthy, with the ability to critically think and make his or her own decisions, and the confidence to push into the world of their choosing.