Nathan and Erica

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From Us to You

Hello! We are Erica and Nate and we would very much like for your baby to be the most important person in our life. We know that’s quite a way to start off this letter, but we figured that it would be best to share with you what we want more than anything in our lives. We’ve been thinking about it for a long time.

We are writing this letter to express to you that entrusting us with your child will ensure that they will be loved beyond measure and taken care of for the rest of their lives. And it is about trust, isn’t it? You have to be willing to trust your child’s well-being to two people you hardly know. It’s impossible for us to understand what that must be like. While it’s hard to communicate this sentiment in a letter, please know that our thoughts, our hopes, and our well-wishes are with you – and this will be the case no matter what decision you make. We cannot fathom the weight that must currently lie on your shoulders, but we want you to know that if you decide to place your trust in us, your baby will find a husband and wife whose primary mission for the remainder of their lives will be to make sure that your child is safe, happy, and full of joy.

When we bring your baby home, they will find a loving environment filled with laughter, where they will flourish as they grow. Currently, we live on a quiet street in an urban neighborhood. Most evenings we hear the neighborhood children running around until dusk. Sometimes we take our dog down the block to the park in our neighborhood. The playground is always packed full of kids of all ages. We live in an economically and ethnically diverse neighborhood, something that we sought out when we chose this house. It’s extremely important to us for our child to be exposed to people from many different walks of life because we feel this would engender understanding and kindness. These are values that we would instill in your child as they get older.

We look forward to sharing our love of music and reading with your child. The idea of reading and singing to a baby brings us such joy thinking about that possibility. The daily routines that our friends with children talk about (changing, bathing, bed-time rituals) are things we are excited to take part in. These rituals of love performed by parents for their children are ones that we are eager to be a part of. Education is something we both strongly believe in. We are both avid readers, something that was imparted to us from our parents and something we look forward to passing along. Whether that takes the form of bedtime stories when they are young or trips to the library as they start to read on their own, there is a world of adventure inside a book. Finally, we want to extend a commitment and a promise. We have no illusions that raising a child will be easy. On the contrary, it will be the hardest thing we’ll ever do. But it will also be the most important thing, the most rewarding thing. If you place your trust in us, we promise you that your child will be the center of our universe. They will always be looked after, that they will never wonder if they are loved. Our commitment to you is that no two people will work harder to ensure the safety and well-being of your child. No two people will strive to provide as many opportunities and choices as possible for them. Our promise to you is that they will not know a day without the infinite love of their parents, all three of them. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and for getting to know us. We hope that you will consider choosing our family for your child. We are in awe of the courage and strength it takes to make this decision and we wish you all of the support and love you need as you are guided down your path.

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Why We're Choosing to Adopt

Before we were married, we always knew that we wanted a family together. We tried many times to conceive the old-fashioned way and, while that process was fun, it didn’t result in the thing we so desperately wanted in our marriage. After some professional consultation, we decided to try IUI contraception. Sadly, after four attempts, we were still unable to get pregnant. The feeling that we had so much to be thankful for in our lives – good health, friends and family, careers we loved – but were denied the very thing that we had looked most forward to as a married couple was difficult. But after taking a break and doing some soul-searching, we both agreed that we would explore adoption. We love each other very much and have a lot of love left to give. We’ve had many opportunities to experience life together and would be honored to experience life with a child and believe adoption is that path for us.

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About Erica by Nate

Erica is my soulmate, the person I want to raise a child with, and the person with whom I want to grow old. Erica is stunning and her smile and laugh are infectious. She is one of the most patient, understanding people I have ever met. Her intellectual curiosity and willingness to try new things still amaze me. Erica is definitely the more artistically gifted of the two of us and we are fortunate to have her paintings adorn our walls. In addition, her keen sense of design has been abundantly apparent in each place we live. The choice of interior paint, coupled with furniture and other aesthetic choices has made our lives more beautiful and stylish!

I traveled a non-traditional route for my college education and had to work in restaurants while I attended school. Obviously, working non-traditional hours while pursuing my economics degree was difficult. Many times I found it tough to stay the course. Erica was steadfast in her support and I have no doubt that I would not have achieved my goal of graduating from college without her by my side. That’s not to say I don’t continue to draw on her reservoir of strength, it’s something I find myself thankful for almost every day. As we all know, life can be very hard; she makes mine easier and more fulfilling every day.

I know that Erica will make a great mother. Her patience and open-mindedness assure me of this fact. To watch her around our friends’ children and her niece and nephew is a glimpse into the future of how this amazing woman will parent. She manages to be nurturing and motherly and has a genuine interest in what the child is trying to communicate. I find myself fascinated by these interactions and excited that I will get the opportunity to learn from her as we embark on this parenting journey together. My love for her is boundless and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

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About Nate by Erica

Nate is a tall drink of water and I knew when I first met him that he was going to hold a special place in my heart. He is the smartest, funniest and most-welcoming person I know. There is never a dull moment and laughter often fills our home or in fact, any room that he is in. Nate has a charismatic personality and will be sure to bring an endless supply of “dad jokes.” He is a hard-working husband and I couldn’t be more proud of the path he traveled to earn his college degree later in life and build a successful career. You should also know he loves the Chicago Bears (through all their ups and downs), has the best dance moves, and quite the collection of Air Jordan shoes.

I know that Nate will make a great dad. Seeing how he interacts with my niece and nephew brings such joy to my heart – he’s a great role model and loves those kids wholeheartedly. His active lifestyle and love of all sports will be an important part of his life that he will share and teach your child. He is intelligent and will strive to teach your child anything they want to know. His loyalty and commitment to family will make him a wonderful dad and I can’t wait to raise a family with him.

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Our Home and Neighborhood

Our home is located in a very diverse, urban neighborhood in Missouri with many families and people from all walks of life. Our two-story home is over 110 years old and has a lot of the original character intact. We’ve put in a good amount of DIY’ing and sweat equity to turn our home into a place where we love to spend time! Our fenced-in backyard is great for letting our dog run around and our front porch is a relaxing spot to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning. While we are near all the excitement an urban city has going on, our neighborhood is quiet and full of children. Our favorite park is 5 blocks away and has sports fields, a playground, a splash–pad (which Erica helped design with her landscape architecture firm), a running trail and bike paths. Although we didn’t grow up in this city, we’ve come to love it and all that it has to offer: great food, live music, an exceptional park system, and our friends and neighbors.

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Our Sweet Pets

We love animals and both grew up with pets. We have an extremely sweet English bulldog, Rosie, and a cat, Frankie. We adopted Frankie when we first began dating, and got Rosie as a puppy seven years ago. She has sure made our life interesting! Although she’s a bulldog, she is quite the ball of energy and her ability to destroy stuffed toys within five minutes is still astonishing. They both are great snugglers and keep us on our toes. We love these two, even though they don’t always love each other!

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Our Family and Friends

Neither of us grew up in the town in which we currently reside. Despite not living close to our families, we manage to have a great relationship with them and speak with them often. Nate grew up in suburban Chicago and Erica in a small town in North Dakota. While it can be difficult not living in close proximity to our siblings, parents, and niece and nephew, we take the opportunity to get together with them whenever we can. Whether that means that we travel to see them or that they come to see us, we always enjoy our visits together. Both us have a large and varied friend group, many of whom have children of their own at this point. It has been fascinating to witness these friendships evolve from where they were when we met in our mid-20s up to now. When we met these people over a decade ago, we never thought about them as parents. That said, it is truly a joy to watch people you love morph into loving parents, essentially evolving into even better versions of themselves. Suffice it to say, the BBQ’s we attend throughout the summers have grown in size with the addition of our friends’ kids.

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Our Lifestyle

Our daily lifestyle is fairly routine – most weekdays find us mixing in trips to the gym with work and then cooking dinner, spending the evening at home. We also like meeting up with each other after work at our neighborhood restaurant for the best wings. One of our favorite things to do is attend spin classes together before work. We have both found it’s a great way to start our mornings. We generally have plenty of free time on the weekends so we like to get breakfast or brunch, go to the gym, take the dog on a walk, or listen to music on the front porch. We love going to baseball games and concerts with friends. When the weather cooperates, you’ll usually find Nate on the back deck grilling in the evenings. When we can, we love to go camping and hiking and have found a lot of hiking trails not too far outside of the city. Last summer, we hiked two 14,000 foot mountain peaks in Colorado – a very challenging but rewarding accomplishment! Traveling is also a significant part of our lifestyle, whether that is traveling to see family and friends or traveling to new cities and countries for a fun vacation. Being able to experience different cultures and places has been a great opportunity for us that we also hope to share with your child.

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Family Traditions

On New Year’s Day we meet a group of our friends at our favorite dive bowling alley and spend the day bowling and catching up after the holidays. This extremely fun tradition has been going strong for over eight years! Nate’s determination to throw multiple gutter balls in a row gives everyone a big laugh. Thanksgiving is also very important to us. Usually, Nate’s parents will visit for a few days and he cooks a big dinner. The combination of the company of family and the process of preparing and cooking dinner is something he really looks forward to. Nate’s parents and Erica also participate in the neighborhood 5K to kick-off the Thanksgiving holiday. We are both looking forward to establishing new traditions with your child.

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What We will Teach your Child

There are certain values that we will teach your child and will instill these in them as they grow up. We will teach them about honesty, respect and empathy and that it’s okay that others see the world differently than they do. We will also encourage them to be curious and to ask a lot of questions and hope our love of learning will be instilled in your child as they grow and explore the world around them. A large part of fostering that intellectual curiosity will be trying to instill our love of reading in them at an early age. Some of our fondest memories as children were discovering that books have the power to unlock a world we never knew existed. We look forward to having story time before bed!

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Our Careers

Both of us have extremely fulfilling careers and love what we do. Nate is a merchandiser at a commodity trading firm. Basically, this involves buying corn, wheat, and soybeans from farmers and grain elevators, then transporting and selling those commodities to cattle feedlots, ethanol plants, and wheat mills. He enjoys it because it allows him to deploy his degree in economics and foster personal relationships with his customers every day. Erica is a landscape architect at a small, woman-owned landscape architecture and planning firm. Her love of design, combined with the outdoors, is what led her to pursue this profession. She is the lead designer and has overseen construction of countless parks, trails and playgrounds throughout her career. She looks forward to one day being able to take her child to play on one of her playground projects.

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How We Met

On a humid day in July, Erica’s dad and boyfriend were attempting to move her couch up the stairs to her new apartment, blocking the door to Nate’s apartment. Nate was just returning from a business trip and was anxious to get home and relax after a week spent in hotel rooms. Unfortunately, the two gentlemen moving the couch were really struggling. Nate, at that point, volunteered an extra set of hands to help with their endeavor. At the time, Nate had assumed, incorrectly, that it was the young man moving into his building. It turns out it was Erica who would become his neighbor. After a year of polite “hellos” in the stairwell, a recently single Erica asked Nate if he would like to get a drink sometime. With time on his hands, Nate asked if she was free right then. She was, thankfully, and we enjoyed a few uninterrupted hours of conversation. Nate immediately fell very hard for Erica and, while it took her a little longer, we both found ourselves very much in love. Fifteen years later, we are still very much in love and look back fondly on the occasion when we first met.

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Our Promise to You

We promise to support and respect you throughout this process. We promise that your child will experience unconditional love and support from us and we will create an environment for your child to thrive in. We want your child to know you and to know what you did for them. We believe the most important thing in choosing openness in adoption is that there will ultimately be more people to love you and your child. We promise that no other two people will strive harder to provide everything that your child needs and that their needs, always and without question, will come before everything else in our lives.