Nickname: Alex and Neil

Married Since: 2017

Pets: Yes

Stay at Home Parent: No

Other Adopted Children at Home: No

Other Biological Children at Home: No

No matter what life brings – through both the good and the hard times – your child will know they are loved and will always have us to rely upon. We so desperately wish to devote ourselves and share our lives with a child. It would be an honor for you to pick us.

Alexander and Neil

from District of Columbia

Alexander

Ancestry: German, Swedish, Scottish

Religion: Nonpracticing

Occupation: Federal Employee

Education: BA

Hobbies: Yoga, Reading

Neil

Ancestry: Irish, Scottish, Italian

Religion: Nonpracticing

Occupation: Analyst

Education: BA

Hobbies: Fitness, Classical music, Drawing

Baby

Preferred Ethnicity of Baby: All Races / Ethnicities

Preferred Gender of Baby: Either

Religion Child To Be Raised: Nonpracticing

Favorites

Alexander

Animal
Giraffe
Book
"Lonesome Dove" by Larry McMurtry
Color
Purple
Food
Greek or anything Mediterranean
Movie
Miss Congeniality
Subject in School
History - 18th Century
Thing to Cook
Pizza with fresh, homemade dough
TV Show
X-Files
Music
Taylor Swift
Vacation Spot
Greece, preferably exploring ruins

Neil

Animal
Elephant
Book
"The Remains of the Day" by Kazuo Ishiguro
Color
Blue
Food
French
Movie
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Subject in School
History - Modern Europe
Thing to Cook
Pasta Carbonara
TV Show
Downton Abbey
Music
Madonna
Vacation Spot
Anywhere in Italy
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From Us to You

We are Alex and Neil, a married couple living in Washington, DC who desperately hope for the privilege of adopting and raising your child. From our very first date in 2015, we discussed our shared love of children and our dreams of raising a family. Years of marriage, shared experiences living overseas, raising a Jordanian street dog, and playing with our niece has only further confirmed that we are both eager and ready to grow our family. We hope that we can welcome your child into our home, love them without end, devote ourselves fully to their future and wellbeing, and offer them every opportunity conceivable. We believe there is more to life than the two of us. When we were young, both knowing we were gay from an early age, we never thought we would have the chance to raise families of our own. Having fallen in love and grown with each other, we now have the incredible privilege to dream and hopefully build a family. You and your decision to choose us to raise and love your child, would humble and bring us indescribable joy.

If you select us, we promise to raise your child in a warm, loving, and supportive household. We will love and care for your child unconditionally. Although Washington, DC is our home, our careers will lead us to travel and live overseas for a couple years at a time. Because of this, we can expose your child to a wide range of cultures, unexpected experiences, diverse cuisines, and a variety of languages. We promise to offer your child every opportunity to try new experiences, explore the unknown, and embrace different cultures. Your child will see and travel the world, but always know their home is with us, no matter where on the globe we may be at that time.

Despite our travels, we will not raise your child alone, but will bring them into a large and exuberant family. Both sides of our families are overjoyed by the prospect of our having a child. They are excited and committed to wholeheartedly welcoming another member to the family. They are prepared to join the effort to give your child the life you hope they can lead. More specifically, we both have siblings and were raised to treat our entire extended families – particularly our cousins – as we did our brothers. We will endeavor to create this same dynamic for your child, who will have at least one cousin from the moment they join our family. Would-be great-grandparents down to aunts and uncles will join us in devoting themselves to your child’s well-being, growth, education, and future.

We cannot ever begin to fathom what you are going through in this moment. What we can tell you, though, is how much we would love the honor of raising your child. No matter what life brings – through both the good and the hard times – your child will know they are loved and will always have us to rely upon. We so desperately wish to devote ourselves and share our lives with a child. It would be an honor for you to pick us.

We are amazed by the strength, love, courage, and generosity you are showing in even considering adoption.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Alex & Neil

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Why We're Choosing to Adopt

We’re not going to lie. As two men, adoption is one of the very few options we have to raise a child. Since our very first date, we have known that we want to have a family. From that first conversation, we were convinced that we wanted to adopt. Neither of us cared to pursue surrogacy. We have always wanted to love and care for a child already coming into the world. Knowing what it is like to be outsiders as gay men, we want to be there to care for, love, and raise a child who might need time, love, and compassion in understanding who they are and how they belong in the world. We have both been there and are equipped to help your child navigate their future, grow, and embrace life. No matter how they choose to pursue life, we will take care of them, we will love them, we will give them every opportunity they could ever hope for in life. We love the idea of raising a child with a team – a team created between us, our families, and you – and will do everything we can to make your child’s future more than you had hoped because all children – no matter who raises them – should have more than their parents dreamed.

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About Alex, by Neil

Alex is, without a doubt, the kindest and most caring person I know. He always tries to assume the best in others, even if they don’t always deserve it. His patience, whether with frustrating situations or just my terrible jokes, knows no bounds. That said, Alex is always willing to stand up for what he believes in or to defend his friends and family. He will always show up to support the people he cares about when they need it, giving well-considered advice or listening to them vent. Alex loves learning about art, music, and history, and will never pass up an opportunity to explore an unfamiliar place or discover something new. He is a hard worker, but he also appreciates taking time to relax and have fun, whether by going out with friends or staying in to watch an old rom-com. Everyone who meets Alex loves his charm and his sense of humor, and they all think he is a wonderful, caring person. He is intelligent without being condescending, proud without being conceited, interesting without seeming pretentious. I can’t wait for him to help raise a child, modeling kindness, curiosity, and love.

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About Neil, by Alex

Neil is caring, smart, inquisitive, and wholly unique. From the moment I met him, I instantly knew that he was someone I needed to know. Since then, he has become steadfast and the most reliable, joy-making, and loving part of my life. Neil is everyone’s first pick to team up with in trivia. His inquisitive mind remembers detail and takes joy in learning. Conversely, the worst nights are those when Neil designs the trivia as we all know we will be defeated. That said, Neil is a natural teacher with the innate ability to explain any topic in multiple ways, a trait that I know will come in handy if we have the privilege of raising your child and face the onslaught of “whys?” Neil is passionate about travel and experiencing the world. Even as a kid he memorized flags and listened to compilations of national anthems. He is keen for exploration and the greatest partner for exploring new places and trying new experiences. If we are so fortunate, I cannot wait to see Neil help raise, share his incredible wit and knowledge, and explore the world with a child.

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Our Families

We are fortunate enough to surround ourselves with an incredibly strong and supportive network of family and friends. We were both raised to always put family first and to look out for each other through thick and thin. Alex is the middle of three boys raised by two doctors – an OB/GYN (mother) and psychiatrist (father) – in Colorado while Neil is the younger of two boys raised by a public school teacher (mother), IT professional (father), and accountant (step-mother) in North Carolina. Beyond our immediate families, we grew up close to our cousins and looked forward to our family reunions as our favorite trips each year. We will do everything we can to ensure that your child is raised in the same family-centric environment where they will never question the love and support we all have and will provide for them.

Growing up as gay men, however, we had to rely on ourselves and had to work particularly hard to find true friends who loved and supported us for who we are without question. While hard in our youths, we now pride ourselves on having incredible friends who are just like family. Even better, having lived overseas and attended schools with large, international student populations, we are happy to have close friends around the world to include in our support network: the same network that would immediately embrace your child should we be so fortunate to welcome them into our lives.

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Our Home

We currently live in an apartment in the heart of Washington, DC with our Jordanian rescue dog, Champ. We love our neighborhood because it is within walking distance to everything we need and surrounded by beautiful green spaces and dog parks. We love our neighborhood because of the incredible diversity. In addition to the young professionals many might associate with DC based on shows like the West Wing, our neighborhood is characterized by long-standing Hispanic and Black communities spanning generations from young children to the more elderly. We love where we are and plan, within the next few years and upon the arrival of a child, to purchase a larger home with a yard for us to have more space to grow and play. We intend to stay in an urban environment and raise your child surrounded by a wealth of cultures, activities, and opportunity.

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Family Traditions

The most important tradition in both of our families has always been spending time together on Thanksgiving. While we continue to argue about whether sweet potatoes should have a crumble topping or corn casserole should be served at all, both of our families place the utmost importance on everyone being together and sharing a feast with talk about everything for which we are grateful. These days we trade off between our families for Thanksgiving, but both sides are equally warm, loving, and supportive. Christmas is also an important time of year, particularly on Alex’s side of the family where his grandparents would always host a Swedish smorgasbord (essentially a large buffet of Swedish – and a few German – offerings) on Christmas Eve and invite a crowd of family and friends. Each year Alex’s family would open presents after the party guests had left and the house was cleaned, often meaning festivities would last until 4:00 AM on Christmas morning. Finally, while not exactly a tradition, both of our families place the utmost importance on reuniting whenever possible and creating a family dynamic where our cousins are our best friends and practically siblings. We both grew up knowing that family comes first. If we are so fortunate, we will raise your child with these same traditions and a strong emphasis on family, surrounded by adoring grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.

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Our Lifestyle

We are motivated by family. As two gay men, our family includes the amazing friends we have both chosen along the way. We will happily drop anything to take care of our dear friends and family. Beyond that, we love to travel and experience as much of the world as we are able. Alex’s job has us moving overseas for a few years at a time. We spent two years in Jordan and, from there, traveled the Middle East and Eastern Europe. Eventually we will move to Bulgaria for three years (returning to Washington, DC after) and will get to explore that part of the world next. Outside of travel, we both have a great fondness for history and art. Wherever we go, we seek out the opportunity to understand new places, expand our horizons, and try new experiences. We would love the opportunity to take a child with us and give them every opportunity to experience new parts of the world. Our lifestyle will change drastically with the arrival of a child; we know that a child’s joy will change our lives infinitely for the better.

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

We are both white men. That said, we embrace cultural, racial, and ethnic diversity. Our sister-in-law is Japanese and we have close friends of many backgrounds, whether that be racial like Black, Hispanic, or Asian or religious like Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, or Buddhist. We live in a neighborhood where a significant portion of the population speaks Spanish as a first language. Our neighborhood is also predominantly Black. Moreover, as our careers will take us overseas for a few years at a time, we will expose your child to cultures and experiences that may not otherwise be available to them in the United States. We believe in flexibility. We believe in exposure to cultures, places, people, and experiences not readily available to us in the places in which we grew up. We will be there to raise and expose your child to the full breadth of worldly experiences. We will give them every opportunity they could ever dream of to see the world, embrace other cultures, and be part of a culturally diverse world.

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Education

Education is of the utmost importance to us. Whatever your child needs or wants for education is at their disposal. We will prioritize their learning above all else. They will not have to worry about student loans because we will take them for our child. Both of us have a college degree in history. We love learning and will support your child in any endeavor they choose.

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How We Met

We met while trying to escape the rain hiding under the portico of the Natural History Museum in Washington, DC on the Fourth of July in 2015. A mutual friend – a high school classmate of Neil’s and a college friend of Alex’s – was in town and staying with Neil for the holiday. Fortune aligned for Alex to encounter them at the museum to say “hi” and wait out the torrential storm. The moment Alex met Neil, he was hooked. Whether it was Neil’s smile, cheeky references to “The Devil Wears Prada,” or his charismatic laugh, Alex knew he had to get to know Neil better. While this first meeting was brief, Alex met the mutual friend again for brunch the next day and shamelessly grilled him for more details about Neil, eventually getting Neil’s phone number. What started out as looking for another friend in the area, We soon realized there was more there and agreed to go on a date for pizza just ten days later. We quickly bonded over a shared love of history, a joy for cooking, an insatiable desire to travel, and a dream to raise a family. It did not take long to realize we were meant to be and we married exactly two years after our first date: 14 July 2017. We have always hoped for the opportunity to raise a child together and cannot wait to start once given the opportunity!

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The Type of Parents we will be

We will be flexible. We do not have a strict philosophy because we believe every child is unique. What we are certain of, however, is that we want your child to have the freedom to make mistakes while knowing they have our unending support and love. Disappointment is our strongest weapon. We will never say no to educational opportunities. We will encourage their desire to explore. We will give them the chance to learn new instruments, try their hand at art, or go out for the football team. We will support your child’s dreams, whims, and passions. We all need to try. We all need to fail. We all need to succeed. We will be your child’s safety net. They may not need it, but we will always be there to catch them should they fall.

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Our Passions

We love what we do but our passions are our family. We love history, travel, and art. No matter where we go, we always visit the national art and history museums. We love to see what each place we visit has to offer. Alex’s career has us moving overseas for a few years at a time, though always returning to Washington, DC as our home base. This has allowed us to travel more than we would otherwise. It has been a joy to visit places we might not normally have had the opportunity to see. We also love music and theater. While neither of us are performers beyond the instruments we played as kids, Neil knows the ins-and-outs of classical music. Mendelssohn was his first CD and he can often be found listening to Beethoven while at the gym. Alex, on the other hand, is more into the likes of pop and country music. Beyond that, we are both readers. We both studied history in college but now spend more of our time reading fiction.

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Our Relationship with You

We are in your debt. We fully believe and hope that you will be part of your child’s life with us. While we acknowledge that the specifics of our relationship will need to be worked out because we are all unique, your child will know they are loved no matter what. We are happy to send regular messages and photos to a mother who might want less contact. We can also discuss visitation arrangements with a mother who wants to be more present in her child’s life. What matters to us is that we get to love and take care of a child together. We hope that you give us the chance to show you that we will give your kid every opportunity and every dream that could ever cross their mind. We will care for them without question or limit.

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Our Promise to You

Our promise is simple: we will raise your child as our own and do everything we can to ensure that they grow up surrounded by a loving, nurturing, and compassionate family. We will provide your child with every opportunity we can and never let them feel different than any of their cousins. That said, we promise always to be honest about their adoption and the love that you, their birth mom, has for them. We will stay true to any agreement we make with you about how you want to be a part of your child’s life as they grow up. We will always respect that you are your child’s mother and an important part of their life and identity forever. The bottom line is that we will do everything in our power to ensure your child grows up knowing they are loved, supported, and an equal part of a devoted family.

Message Alexander and Neil

  • Date Format: MM slash DD slash YYYY
  • Hi, We are honored that you are considering us! Lisa, our adoption specialist at Adoption Network, will be reaching out to make sure your needs are being met and your questions about adoption are being answered. She will help us get in touch with each other. We can’t wait to connect with you!

Contact Alexander and Neil

  • Date Format: MM slash DD slash YYYY
  • Hi, We are honored that you are considering us! Lisa, our adoption specialist at Adoption Network, will be reaching out to make sure your needs are being met and your questions about adoption are being answered. She will help us get in touch with each other. We can’t wait to connect with you!