Alex and Amber

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mother,

First of all, we want to thank you for your courageous decision to consider adoption for your child. We understand that this is likely the most difficult choice you’ll ever make. We believe that choosing an adoptive family to raise your child is the most selfless thing a mother could ever do, and we are humbled by your strength and your sacrifice.

We are grateful for your consideration and want to share more about us and our life together. We started dating in high school over eighteen years ago. We continued dating through college and have been married since 2010. We love our life together with our daughter, Izzy, and our dog, Mikka. We live in a fantastic little town not far from several larger cities.

We both come from amazing families and we can not wait to share with your child all the blessings and wonderful memories that were given to us. Besides having a wonderful big sister, your child would live a short distance away from two sets of loving grandparents, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins. Our families are very important to us. We are fortunate to have such a strong network that enriches our lives and who look forward to doing the same for your child.

We’ve talked about and dreamt of having a big family since we started dating. We’ve tried for years to start our family, but after several rounds of unsuccessful infertility treatments, we were convinced the universe had another plan for us. We decided that adoption was the perfect way for us to create our family. We adopted Izzy in 2020, just a few days after she was born. Our adoption journey was a rollercoaster of emotions for Izzy’s birth mother and for us, but together we knew that Izzy joining our family was meant to be.

We want to thank you again for the decision you are making. It is truly a gift, one of immeasurable love and generosity. It is a gift that can never be repaid, but one that will never be forgotten. All we could ever do is make you a promise to provide a loving home for your child in every way that we can. We can’t wait to experience with them the big things, like their first day of school or championship sports games, and the little things, like family dinners and homework at the kitchen table. We are excited to expose your child to all that life has to offer. We promise to love, laugh, and cry with your child; to teach them life’s important lessons, and to help your child dream big and accomplish all that they can.

With love,
Alex and Amber

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Why We are Choosing to Adopt

We dreamed of having children even before we were married. Then with the difficulties we had getting pregnant, a miscarriage, and the long adoption process, we weren’t sure it would ever happen for us. But finally, when everything worked out, we were blessed with the most wonderful baby girl. She has brought more joy to our lives than we ever imagined possible. Any difficulties in the process are so quickly forgotten when she giggles at us or runs to us for a big hug. We are hoping to be able to do that again and continue having these experiences. Izzy is also so good with her baby cousin that we know she will be an amazing big sister to your baby.

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About Amber, by Alex

I met Amber when I was a 17-year-old high school junior. At 17, I was a lot more concerned with scraping together 20 bucks to pay for dinner or a movie than thinking about words like “marriage,” “wife,” “house,” “children,” or “family.” Yet, it didn’t take me long to realize that there was no one I would rather explore those possibilities with.

The funny thing about our relationship, both then and now, is we are opposites in a lot of areas. We both have differing views on politics and religion; I like sports and she likes art; she likes Rock music and I like Alt and Jazz; I like pepperoni and peppers on my pizza and she likes sausage and olives. Instead of driving us apart or causing issues, those differences helped us grow as a couple, and me as an individual. Amber taught me to stand up for the things I believe in while being open and accepting of things that are contrary to the way I think. This has made me a better husband to her, and also a better friend, co-worker, and community member to the people I interact with each day.

Then there are the things Amber and I do agree on. We both love to get away on the weekends and sit on a dock taking in the lake scenery or hoping for a fish. We both love watching cheesy X-Files reruns while eating a few slices of pizza (even though we both want different toppings). We both treasure any time we can spend with our families. We are both very independent, but know we don’t always need to be because we have each other.

Once Izzy came home with us, I was so impressed with how quickly Amber transitioned to “Mom Mode.” It took me a few months to adjust to a new lifestyle and new responsibilities, but it seemed to click for her on day one. Whether it was giving Izzy a bath for the first time, or changing that first really gross diaper, Amber just rolled her sleeves up and did it as if she had done it a thousand times before.

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About Alex, by Amber

Alex and I met when we were teenagers and we’ve grown together ever since. I love that he challenges me intellectually, politically, and philosophically. We have some great discussions and I know he respects me and my opinions. Even after eighteen years together, he’s still the first person I want to share any good news with and the first one I seek for advice.

The things that attracted me to Alex when we first met are still the things I enjoy most about him today – his sense of humor, his views on the world that are different than mine, his commitment to his responsibilities, and his dedication to his family and friends. He has a great relationship with his parents, his siblings, and his extended family. He loves being the oldest of four siblings and a protective big brother. Family is as important to him as it is to me. I see that now more than ever before. I always knew that Alex would be a great father, but seeing him with our daughter, Izzy, makes me incredibly happy.

From the beginning of our relationship, we discussed having a family together. His desire to have a family and the gentle way he interacts with children have always been the traits I’ve loved about him. The moment Izzy came into our lives, he was smitten. I know that he would do anything to protect her and make her happy. I know he will do the same for any child we welcome to our family.

He is a fantastic father. I love seeing him run around playing in the backyard, taking trips to the park, and snuggling on the couch while reading books. I look forward to the day we are able to welcome another child into our family and can’t wait to see Alex develop the same wonderful type of relationship with them as he does with Izzy.

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Our daughter Izzy

We adopted Izzy in 2020 and she changed our lives in so many wonderful ways! She’s a spunky, fun-loving girl who loves spending time with us, her cousins and big extended family! She loves to be outdoors in all seasons, from learning to ice skate in winter to family reunions at the lake in the summer. She can’t wait to be a big sister, and promises to share her toys, art supplies and snuggles with our pup Mika!

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Lifestyle

During the week, we both have full-time jobs, so Izzy alternates between her grandparents’ houses each day. We usually stay for dinner at each house once per week when we go pick her up after work. The other nights the three of us have dinner together. When the weather is nice, we often take evening walks in our neighborhood or go to the nearby playground.

In the summer and fall, we visit the family cabin in central Minnesota every chance we get. We love spending time at the lake by boating, fishing, swimming, or just sitting outside enjoying the nice weather. Amber’s parents and extended family are there most of the weekends as well, so it’s great family time with everyone together. Izzy also loves spending time at the cabin with her cousins.

In the winters, we do a lot of do-it-yourself home projects or get together with family and friends for board game days or the occasional game of pond hockey. Alex is a referee for the local youth hockey league, so he gets out to the hockey rink a couple of times a week.

We can’t wait to welcome another child into our life. We’re so excited for Izzy to be able to show her little sister or brother everything she enjoys: our home, her toys, her crayons, our dog, her wagon, and so much more! We’re eager to see all the wonderful ways our family life will change with another child. Our life will be filled with even more joy by sharing life’s blessings as a family of four.

Just as we were able to after Izzy was born, we both plan to take parental leave from our jobs to spend as much time as we can bonding as a family.

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Our Dog, Mikka

We have an eleven-year-old black lab rescue dog named Mikka. She’s a great snuggler, our best friend, and a wonderful companion. She is extremely friendly and great with children. We love taking her to the lake or the nature preserve near our home, but her favorite thing is being a 70-pound lap dog. Izzy loves her doggie and likes to pet or use Mikka as a pillow whenever she walks into the room.

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Home & Neighborhood

After we were married, we lived in a busy neighborhood near a big city. A few years later, when we were ready to start a family, we built a house in the suburbs in a new housing development. Most families in the neighborhood are similar in age to us, and there are seemingly kids everywhere. Izzy has just reached the age where she enjoys going to the neighborhood park and playground. She’s already a huge fan of the swings and the slides and has enjoyed watching the other kids run around, but is still a bit too shy to join in.

When we’re able to welcome another baby into our home, Izzy will move into a new bedroom and baby will be in the nursery near our room. Izzy mostly plays in the living room on the main floor, but we have a spare bedroom that we plan to turn into a kids’ playroom in the near future. We are also finishing our basement where there will be plenty of room to play, jump on our mini trampoline, build pillow forts, and hide in the kids’ tent that we have set up down there.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

We believe there are many attributes that make children and all people wonderfully unique, including their race and cultural heritage. If the child who joins our family is from a different racial and cultural background than we are, we can’t wait to learn all about their heritage alongside them.

Our friends recently adopted two Native American children and we are fascinated to hear about the cultural events they get to see and participate in. We would wholeheartedly embrace any racial or cultural traditions, customs, or history of the child we welcome into our family.

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Our Relationship with Izzy's Birth Parents

We approach our relationship with Izzy’s birth mother with as much respect, gratefulness, and privacy for her as possible. When we were with her in the hospital right after Izzy was born, she expressed her desire to eventually be a part of Izzy’s life, perhaps when Izzy is a young adult. She also wanted us to provide pictures and updates, but she asked us to only send them when she requests. We happily provide pictures and updates whenever she reaches out. We very much want to continue to have a good relationship, so that Izzy and her birth mother may have the opportunity to develop a relationship in the future should they both want that.

Izzy’s birth father recently reached out to Amber. They had a very nice conversation and she shared some pictures of Izzy. We also learned some family history and shared pictures of our two families. Izzy’s birth father expressed a similar desire to one day be a part of Izzy’s life, should she want that and we are also open to supporting her when the time comes.

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Our Families & Friends

We are so fortunate to have so much of our family living nearby. Amber’s brother lives 4 blocks away, and Alex’s sister just bought a house nearby. Alex’s brother lives 10 minutes away, and he and his wife have two younger children. The close proximity means Izzy and her little sister or brother will get to see their aunts, uncles, and cousins very often.

Both sets of grandparents also live within 20 minutes and split daycare duty for Izzy. She goes to one set of grandparents 3 days a week and the other set 2 days a week. Both sets of grandparents have said they would like to continue to provide daycare for Izzy and any child that joins our family. We plan to utilize family daycare as long as possible. We love how much time Izzy is able to spend with her grandparents and we are so glad that we can continue this arrangement for any new addition to our family.

We also have many friends who live close by that we love to get together with and do fun activities.

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Family Traditions

Our traditions mostly center around events with our families.

Every Easter, we alternate our celebration with Amber’s or Alex’s family. Every Easter celebration includes a wonderful home-cooked meal, dessert, an Easter Egg hunt, and a lot of great family time.

Every Memorial Day weekend, Amber’s family holds a big family and family-friends reunion. We all rent cabins at the same lake resort in central Minnesota. We spend three days socializing, playing games in the sun, and eating way too much. We’ve had as many as four generations all gathered together some years.

Every Thanksgiving, we host both of our families for one great big family dinner. We eat lots of turkey, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and pie!

Every year just after Thanksgiving, we love to go cut down our own Christmas tree from a nearby Christmas tree farm. Amber’s family and close family friends make it a whole event. We go to the tree farm, then we have a big dinner, and all hang out at someone’s house for the evening.

Alex’s immediate family lives close, but the extended family is scattered throughout the country. Every year at Christmas, everyone comes back to Minnesota for a week to spend time together. Each day is usually filled with fun activities like sledding at the park, pond hockey, going to the Mall of America, going to movies, or just hanging out and playing board games. As Alex’s cousins have started having kids, this has also turned into multiple generations of the family all sharing time together. We celebrate Amber’s extended family on Christmas Eve. We have dinner, pie, Christmas cookies and lots of presents! On Christmas Day, we join Alex’s family for more of the same fun!

We both love to travel together and with our families. We both grew up taking family vacations to various places in the US and around the world. We can’t wait to start this tradition with our own family.

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Our Promise to You

All we could ever do is make you a promise to provide a loving home for your child in every way that we can. We can’t wait to experience with them the big things, like their first day of school or championship sports games, and the little things, like family dinners and homework at the kitchen table. We are excited to expose your child to all that life has to offer. We promise to love, laugh, and cry with your child; to teach them life’s important lessons, and to help your child dream big and accomplish all that they can.