Maxwell and Pamela

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From Us to You

We don’t know you yet. We don’t know your background or what led you down this path, but we are praying for you, for your safety and protection through your pregnancy. We pray that God gives you absolute peace with whatever decision you come to and that He blesses your future. We don’t know you yet, but we hope to.

We can’t begin to imagine what you are going through right now, and the selfless love that it must take to consider adoption. What has to be scary and unimaginable for you would be the biggest blessing of our lives, and that alone makes us love you. We are humbled that you are even considering us. Thank you for taking the time to look through our profile.

We met around 2012 through mutual friends. We began dating in 2014 and knew right away that our future was together. After our wedding in 2016 we decided to wait a year before having children. We wanted to travel and have a little more time with just the two of us. At the time we thought we’d have multiple children; we both came from large families, and we knew that our devotion would be to our kids, so we wanted a little extra time for the two of us before starting a family.

Fast forward a bit and we decided to start trying to grow our family. We got pregnant with our daughter Remy right away and began the greatest journey of our life. Little did we know what a miracle she truly was, as Pam has since struggled with fibroids, surgery, and we’ve been diagnosed with unexplainable infertility.

This brings us to now. Pam has wanted to adopt since she was a young girl. At 14 years old she researched the requirements to be an adoptive parent, and knew that one day adoption would be part of her journey. After our infertility diagnosis we both knew that this was the next step, a long term dream, coming true sooner than expected.

Getting married in our late twenties gave us both time to establish careers and to know what we wanted in a partner and what kind of parents we wanted to be. If you choose us to help raise your sweet baby, we can promise that they will know endless love and acceptance. We have no words to describe the joy our daughter brings to us and how we look forward to having another child to share our dreams and our future with. They will know constant snuggles and reading time, bedtime prayers and church on Sunday, bike rides and playing at the local parks.

We live in a small community and are focused on faith, family and community. Our town is one where kids can still ride around with their friends and neighbors look after each other. Where a benefit brings out the entire community and the support is what you would expect from close family. Where we have our family, our friends who are family, our church family, our work families, and a supportive, safe and involved, community.

We are often found at the family farm, helping with planting or harvesting, riding horses and four wheelers during the spring and summer, or working at home in our own garden and playing on the swing set in our backyard. The best is when we get to be down by the lake playing in the sand (Remy’s favorite), on the Jet Ski (Max’s favorite) or relaxing and soaking up some sun on the pontoon with friends (Pam’s favorite). We also enjoy the drive-in movie theater, hunting, hiking, bike rides, playing yard games or playing at one of the two parks that are just a few blocks from our house.

During the winter we enjoy a slower pace and take time to play board games, read books, watch movies, bake (Christmas baking for all the neighbors and friends is a favorite!), or cook. Every time we get drawn into a Gordon Ramsey show we think we can cook like professionals and always enjoy the challenge. Remy loves sitting on the counter to help dump in ingredients or stir (and lick) the bowls and her favorite show is “Is it Cake?”

If you feel like this is the kind of life you’d like for your child, we would be honored to raise them as our own. To love and to cherish them. To give them countless opportunities in life and to encourage them to be the best that they can be.

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Why We're Choosing to Adopt

Adoption has always been a part of our conversations. It has been in Pam’s heart since she was young and we’ve discussed adopting since we met. At the time we thought it would be after having a couple of biological children, but our timeline has just moved up with our fertility diagnosis, and we couldn’t be more excited. We are so thankful that we are at a point in our lives where we can make this dream a reality.

The other thing that made us decide to start the process of adoption now was our sweet daughter’s desire to be a big sister, and our desire to give that to her. Both of us have multiple brothers and sisters, and we would love for her to have the opportunity to have built-in best friends to grow up with, just like we had.

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About Max, by Pam

Max is the best man I’ve ever known. He is generous and kind. I always thought I was “the nice one” but he surpasses that by leaps and bounds. He is the “good guy” that everyone tells you to marry, and someone up above was looking out for me when He put Max and me together. Max grew up farming, went to school for John Deer Ag Tech and then moved back home to help his dad with the farm. When our daughter was born he walked away from this life and the career that he loved in order to devote more time into the one thing he loved more; our daughter, Remy. He now works a position that allows him to be home by early afternoon and is a partner with the housework and enjoys extra time with Remy. Outside of work, Max loves racing and hunting on his Dad’s farm and ranchland. He has a sense of adventure that encourages our family to make memories. His kindness and work ethic are what I fell in love with first. His strength and bravery sealed the deal. Watching him teach and explore with Remy helps me fall back in love with him every single day.

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About Pam, by Max

Pamela is the best woman I’ve ever met and she makes me a better person for sure. She always has the schedule and everything in our runs on track and on time. Pamela is the one who always calms me down and brings me back to earth when things are not going the way they are supposed to. She is kind and patient, and makes everybody around her want to be a better person. Pamela went to school in a few different places growing up but called South Dakota her home. When she graduated she went to college and studied mass communications and photography. In every job Pamela has had in her life she has worked her way up to management very quickly and ended up running the place. Her current job now is with a large telecommunications company. Within 3 years she moved up into a management position, making her the youngest female manager in the company. Outside of work she loves spending time with family, going to the lake, or traveling to new places and seeing the country.

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Our Sweet Remy

Remy has the biggest heart of anyone we’ve met. She wants to take care of the underdog and is broken when people or animals are hurting. She is strong, assertive, and respectful. This girl prays every single night that God would allow us to have another baby, and through this process she is learning that sometimes He says yes, sometimes He says no, and other times He says “wait.” And sometimes, He answers our prayers in the most unexpected but amazing ways. She is extremely excited to have a little brother or sister, regardless of how that happens. Your baby will have the best big sister who loves everything from unicorns, rainbows, and mermaids to riding bikes and playing in the dirt. She’s a pro at making “potions” in the sandbox and jumping off of the high dive at the pool without hesitation. She loves driving Bampa’s cars, doing cookies on the jet ski, learning how to drive the tractor, and dancing. She always has music in her head and will choose to snuggle and read a book as often as a TV show before bedtime. This girl never ceases to surprise us with her humor (she gets that from her dad) and her silliness (she gets that from both of us). I can’t wait to see the relationship she builds with a younger brother or sister, or both if it were up to her.

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Our Sweet Pups

Our first “babies” came in the form of two dogs, a German Shepherd Black Lab mix who is 6 years old and 100 pounds and a Black Lab Boxer mix who is 7 years old and 80 pounds. They are, together, 180 pounds of pure love and affection.

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Our Home

Home is our favorite place. Home could be anywhere, as long as we’re with our greatest loves it is our favorite place on earth. We have a 4 bedroom, 2 bath home in a small town on the lake. Our home sits on 2 lots which allows us to have the space to play and also enjoy a big swing set, children’s pool, room for the dogs to chase a ball, and good size garden and flower beds. We love being able to have coffee on the back deck in the morning and watch all our sweet loves (kids and dogs included) enjoy our yard. Our community is everything we wanted. It is common to see groups of kids riding bikes around town or going to the water park together. We also see a lot of community events that support our local businesses and families in the community when someone is in need. We like to attend these benefit auctions and bid up items to help whatever the family or cause is. Remy enjoys joining for events and we try to show her how good it is to give without needing to receive something in return.

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Our Family and Friends

We both come from big families; Max was raised with 7 siblings and Pam has 4. Your baby will grow up with 19 first cousins (so far) and many, many extended family members. Remy’s favorite thing to do is go to Grandpa’s ranch with the cousins who are her age and ride horses with her aunt or feed cows with her grandpa. Our parents are so very excited to welcome another baby into the family and your baby will grow up knowing Love and being spoiled by them. Every time Max’s mom comes by the house she brings gifts for Remy and it will be no different with your baby.

Pam’s dad recently moved to Iowa, Max’s dad bought a ranch in Oklahoma, and his mom retired to Arizona all within the last year, so we’re thinking those will be some of our next big trips. Max’s mom still has a place here in town and his dad’s farm is 30 miles away so we still get to see them frequently. Pam’s mom lives about 3 hours away and we also get to see her every couple of months, either her travelling to us or us to her. We can’t describe the amount of love your baby will be surrounded with and the support they will have throughout their lives from us, our families, our friends, and our community

In addition to having a supportive family, we have an exceptional group of friends. Our closest friends have been together for over 25 years, all having grown up together in a small town. Through the years we’ve stayed close and we see some of them at least once a week. Their kids are our kids and their parents are our parents. As time moves on and the geographic distance between our families grows we’ve found it hard to get everyone together regularly, so we have an annual camping trip where almost all of the 7-10 families get together once a summer and have our “friend family reunion.” Remy considers all of the children her “cousins” as much as we’ve explained that they are friends. We finally agreed that she is right, they are her cousins. While we have amazing families, we are also blessed with bonus family that we chose for ourselves. They love and support us through everything, and your baby will be a central part of that.

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About Us

We met through mutual friends and knew each other for a couple of years before we began dating. In our premarital counseling our pastor pointed out the Love chapter, Corinthians 13, is all actions, and the way we love people is in how we act. This has been like glue for us and has strengthened our relationships. We try to be patient, kind, humble, and honest. We are raising our daughter to do the same. To love people is to treat them with respect and kindness, qualities that we would also teach your child. We also teach and show her God’s love for us by how we honor Him and how we treat each other. Leading by example and loving through grace.

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Our Lifestyle

We lead a pretty active lifestyle. We both work full time, Monday through Friday. Max is typically off of work by noon or 1:00 most days, which allows him to pick Remy up from daycare at a reasonable hour and/or get things done around the house. Pam works a little later but her job allows her to work from home as needed. That has been a huge benefit! While we are working, Remy attends an amazing, state-licensed daycare center that we absolutely love. The staff and “daycare grandma” do multiple educational, age-appropriate activities with the kids. They do arts and crafts, go on adventures to the city parks, do scavenger hunts, or go to the swimming pool during the summer. They also have a wonderful play center in their yard for children of all ages. The owner was incredibly excited for and supportive of us when we mentioned adopting. She has a spot reserved, even though we don’t know how long it will be before we have a baby. Living in a small town means a lot of our work relationships spill over into our personal lives, and this is one of them. They are all extremely excited for us. Outside of work we like to spend Saturday mornings at home, sipping coffee and snuggling. Once we get moving we typically get the house taken care of (Remy helps with age appropriate chores like feeding the dogs and picking up her toys). Once the work is done we head outdoors to enjoy our beautiful community or time with family and friends.

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Family Traditions

Coming from large families, we have many family traditions. Within our home we enjoy baking Christmas cookies for people, opening gifts on Christmas morning at home, going to Great Grandma’s the night before Christmas Eve and Grandma’s house on Christmas Eve. We love setting up the tree together and drinking eggnog while we watch the train go round in circles. Thanksgiving is typically spent cooking as a family, then after the meal some of us team up to conquer the mountain of dishes or break off to watch the Football game (Go Vikings and Broncos!) or play card games and board games with the kids. Outside of holidays we also have our day-to-day traditions. We eat together as a family every evening and kneel by Remy’s bed to say prayers every night. In the fall Max’s dad has his cattle sale that all of the kids try to make it home for. We help with the arrangements and the sale as well as celebrating the good years and being there for the hard ones.

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Family Vacations

While we are home bodies who enjoy a good movie night or fire pit in the backyard, we also love to travel. We’ve been blessed to get to visit Florida the last two years in a row, and take in Disney, Universal Studios, Pirate Ships and the beach. We enjoy doing the things that make Remy smile, from meeting the princesses to dueling on a pirate ship, if she’s happy, we are happy. Watching the wonder and magic in Remy’s eyes as she meets her favorite princesses or when the Beast blew her a kiss is unexplainable. We so look forward to sharing this joy with more children.

We enjoy big vacations like Florida and mini-vacations where we can meet up with friends or family for a weekend at the Mall of America, sightseeing in the Black Hills, or just a weekend at an indoor water park. We love it all and can’t wait to share these experiences with another child.

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

Max grew up in the heart of Standing Rock Indian Reservation and Pam grew up between Denver, Colorado Springs and Rock Island, Illinois. Diversity is at the heart of how we’ve grown up. When we travel, we love to explore the local cultures and discover the foods and traditions of wherever we are. Between our friends and family we have a mix of Caucasian, Native American, African American, German, Filipino, and more. The ring bearer in our wedding was adopted and he brings us an incredible amount of joy. His sweet spirit and love for learning endear him to us more and more every day. Watching him grow up has been a tremendous blessing and he is one of the reasons we have been so encouraged to adopt.

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Our Relationship with You and What We will Tell Your Child

We believe in honesty and transparency. Your child will know unconditional love from us and they will also know that unconditional love is what you have given them. They will know that you made an impossible decision because you loved them more than anyone could. As they grow up we’d like to send letters and photos to you if you would like them. When your sweet baby is older and at a mature age to understand, we’d hope that they have the opportunity to receive communication from you and if or when they want to meet you and know more about who they are, we will do our very best to support that in a loving and understanding way. In the meantime you will be an integral part of our prayers, and that one day the two of you will be able to develop your own relationship if you both desire.

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Our Promise to You

Our promise to you is to love and support your sweet baby every day of their life. To support them in their goals and dreams. To encourage and mentor them to do their best in everything. To teach and to lead by example. We promise to give them a safe and loving home where they will always feel comfortable and supported by the friends and family that they are surrounded by. We would love the opportunity for them to get to meet you, to hear about where they come from and know their history. If you prefer a closed adoption we will honor that, but our desire would be for them to have the opportunity to explore their past, if they ever desire to do so. We also promise to raise them with values of love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. To Remy, this baby will be her little brother or sister, nothing could change that. To us, they will be our baby always and forever, just like Remy.