Does placing my baby for adoption make me a bad person?

When I was making the decision whether or not to place my
baby for adoption, I struggled with this same question. Unfortunately, there is
a lot of shame placed on women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. We are
oftentimes thought of as irresponsible and careless. On top of that shame
placed on us, there is still ignorance about adoption that creates an
additional stigma. Society tells us that women who place their babies are
taking the easy way out, or are running away from their responsibilities. I
have come to learn that it is the exact opposite. These women are making the
hardest decision and taking full responsibility for making the best choice for
their child.

Some people would say to me that I was making a brave and
selfless decision, but to be honest I didn’t feel that way. I weighed out my
options and while I was making the decision that was best for my baby, I was
also making the decision that was best for me. I felt selfish for wanting my
life back to the way it was before. I felt shame that I couldn’t parent on my
own. So while my selfish reasons helped me to make my decision, the driving
force in my decision to place my daughter for adoption was my desire for her to
have the best life. She deserved that. And let me tell you that placing my
daughter was the most difficult experience of my life. As sure as I was about
my decision, my heart was betraying my head. It hurt. When it really came down
to it I forgot all about my selfish reasons and the only thing that kept me
going was knowing she deserved a life I couldn’t give her on my own. It wasn’t
about me; it was about her. 

I mean I may be biased, but I think birthparents are some of
the most courageous and selfless people. They are making the ultimate
sacrifice. They are putting their child’s needs above the wants and desires of
their own heart. It really doesn’t get any braver than that. They are taking a
difficult experience and making it into something beautiful. And that is
something to be proud of. It takes a special kind of person to make that
sacrifice. Placing your baby for adoption doesn’t make you a bad person, it
makes you a beautiful person.

Author: Ali D.

Written by Jason Granillo

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