Taryn

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From My Heart to Yours

Dear Expectant Mother: Becoming a mom has been a dream of mine since I was a young girl, and you may be asking yourself why you should consider a single mother for the job of raising your precious child. Honestly, I would love to be married someday, but as I tell my 2nd-grade students, I haven’t found my “Prince Charming” yet. I decided I didn’t want to wait any longer to become a mom, and adoption has always been something I’ve considered. If a glass slipper should be placed on my foot someday, he will certainly know how important raising a child is to me and should feel just as strongly about being a father.

Next, I’d tell you that I am beyond independent. My parents raised me with a “can-do” attitude, and I’ve never stepped down from a challenge. I am always determined to succeed. I also know it’s not going to be easy, but I’m pretty sure no one ever said parenting was easy regardless of the circumstances. In fact, in life the most challenging endeavors have always proven to be the most rewarding to me.

I am lucky to have an incredible village that I can call upon at a moment’s notice. Living nearby I have my immediate family, the best group of high school friends, and a dear group of work friends who are always willing to help. On top of that, my extended family is a tight-knit bunch, and we make an effort to get together at least once a year.

Being around children brings me so much joy. I wish I had written down all of the times I watched a child in my class beam with pride when they finally succeeded at something they’d been working so hard at, the numerous moments of laughter in hearing the things that come out of kids’ mouths, or the many things I never thought I’d have to say in addressing students and their sometimes-unexpected behaviors. There are just so many heart-warming and inspiring stories to tell. Not to mention my unwavering and overflowing love for my nieces and nephews. I cannot get enough of them, and many of the conversations I have with friends and other family members revolve around sharing how they’re learning and growing so much. I am the ultimate proud aunt.

I am very blessed by the people in my life. However, there is a part of my heart that has an opening and filling it with the love of a child would be the biggest blessing of all. I feel honored you’re considering me to take on this tremendous responsibility and hope that by reading this you find comfort in knowing that I will do anything and everything in my power to ensure this little one is surrounded by lots of love and laughter and experiences all the great joys of life while also feeling supported during any tough times. Every day this child will know how incredibly and forever grateful I am to you for making my dream come true.

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About Me

I’ll admit I’m not always good at talking about myself, but here goes. I have worked as a teacher since I graduated from Penn State, and I love what I do. I have an easy-going personality, and I believe in the importance of good character. I have a poster in my classroom that says, “Character is how you live life when no one is looking.”

When making decisions, I like to think things through. When I take time to mull it over, I make better decisions. I am pretty willing to go with the flow most of the time. However, if I feel very passionate about something, you will know it. Through some leadership roles I have taken on in my career, I have been able to work on being more flexible. I have a good deal of patience. I have learned a lot about how to handle this through teaching my students. You have to practice what you preach!

There is this interesting piece to me where something someone does or says will often remind me of a song. I will then burst out singing when that happens. I use this to my advantage in situations where I’m losing my patience. I will change the words to a song and sing my frustrations. For example, I often change the words to “Let it Go” in my classroom. I might sing, “Get it done” or “Stop talking now.” It serves to release that pent-up energy and allows me to bring humor and light to the situation.

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My Relationship with You

It’s important to me for your child to always know who you are. To know your love for them, your strength and courage, and how you sacrificed your own wants and needs for what was best for your child. I would love to get to know you through our adoption journey together, so I can share about you during those special moments of our day. Those little moments are the big and important life moments that memories are made of and are cherished through the years.

I will leave the level of contact you would like to have with your child up to you. I want you to know that I am open to and would love to share with you pictures and videos of your child as we both watch him/her grow. If you are comfortable, I am open to face-time and even visits if that is something you are hoping for. There’s a lot of love to give in this world, and keeping happy, healthy relationships is part of that. Your child seeing the love and respect we have for each other is an important part of their growth, and as mothers, your child’s best interest will always be first.

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It Takes a Village

My adoption journey began with my dream of becoming a mom. That dream has blossomed into a reality as my friends and family’s support has been a constant presence. With the news my adoption journey was officially underway, my sisters and friends began clearing out their baby storage areas to pass on all the essentials. My niece, Lana, had just moved into a toddler bed, and the building of a nursery began, as my brother-in-law, Ben, moved the crib into the bedroom. My mom and sisters also planned the most incredible shower to celebrate and eventually welcome a new addition. I was overwhelmed with the joy and generosity shown to me on this day. The nursery and many closets are overflowing with all we will need and more.

I’m especially thankful for the men in my life who would help to serve as male role models in the life of a child. My brother-in-law Ben can often be found drumming up some goofy, fun-loving antics with the kids. Between his antics, love of sports, and love of shopping, he wouldn’t hesitate to add another kid to the bunch. My brother-in-law Josh can always be found playing with the kids when we get together. With his love of fishing and the ability to build or fix anything, he’s always willing to jump in. Additionally, I’m very close to two of my male cousins who each have 2 kids of their own now. Watching them connect to the kids in their roles as fathers and uncles delights me, and I have no doubt they will play that role well in my child’s life, too. My friends’ husbands are a big part of my life, as well. They are ready to help me with anything I need. They’ve offered to cut down dead trees, help move furniture, fix the sump pump – just to name a few. They’re also always there when we get together with our families and can be found playing all the kids’ games. Some of them may actually still be kids themselves or so they think.

I also know this is only the beginning of the journey with my village. In texting with my cousin’s wife recently, she shared her continued prayers for my miracle to happen soon and said when it does, I will be “bombarded with help.” I feel so grateful to have such amazing friends and family in my life, who will be there with me every step of the way. This baby will be loved, taken care of, and spoiled by so many.

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Home and Neighborhood

Buying a single-family home was my first big step towards making my adoption dreams come true. I knew when I started a family, I wanted a friendly neighborhood where children can run and play outside. I feel like I hit the jackpot when I found this house. It has provided me with so much more than I could have imagined, and I can’t wait to share that with your child! Seeing your child smile and wave hello to neighbors as we take an evening stroll will bring me such joy. There is an annual block party, Halloween party, lighting of luminaries at the holidays, and other informal get-togethers throughout the year that I know I will enjoy even more when I get to experience it through the eyes of a child.

My fenced-in backyard, which faces a beautiful pond, has been a sanctuary for me. I can envision many moments of stopping what we’re doing to watch the various animals from the back patio or through the window as they scurry around. When the weather is nice, many hours will be spent in the backyard: playing ball, running through the sprinkler, taking a walk around the pond, and playing on the swing set. Every time I have friends and family over, they can’t stop talking about what a wonderful setting it is, and I couldn’t agree more. I get so excited when I think about how much fun it will be to raise a child here!

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My Family

Spending time with family is the best! Several years ago, I made a sign for my kitchen that reads, “The most special memories are made when gathered around the family table.” I can think of many stories and traditions in our family that echo this statement. I am one of 3 girls to my parents, John and Donna. My dad sadly passed away several years ago from cancer. I am the oldest child and my 2 sisters are Jayme and Elyse. I have 2 nieces (Lana and Bella), a step-niece (Sierra), and 2 nephews (Ryder and Avery), who I cannot get enough of! Our family typically gets together once or twice a month and playing with the kids is so fun and entertaining. I have also helped out my sister, Jayme with her children many summers by watching Ryder and Lana anywhere from 1-2 times per week. I’ve been doing this with Ryder since he was 9 months old. Jayme says she owes me big time for all the help I’ve given her over the years, and I can’t wait to cash in….haha! In addition, many of my cousins and friends have children who I have spent time with over the years. I have been called the “baby whisperer” by some and hope that this will ring true when I become a mother.

My immediate family all lives in the area. My mom and sister Jayme live about 15 minutes from me, and my sister Elyse lives in Delaware, about an hour away. My extended family isn’t nearby, but I am close to a couple of my cousins who have children, and I know that they will offer advice and support through this process. My aunts and uncles will be out for many visits, as well. My Uncle Don, who is my dad’s twin brother, has reached out because he knows how much my dad would have been involved if he were still alive, and he wants to be part of the whole experience in a similar way. In fact, Uncle Don’s grandchildren used to call my dad “Grandpa #2,” so I know my Uncle Don will embrace that title well. We plan to get together with my immediate and extended family often and always end up gathered around the table sharing stories and making new memories to cherish.

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Family Traditions

Another part of having a child that excites me is celebrating the traditions my family has established and beginning to make some of our own. I have so many great memories of how our traditions evolved over the years. As I think about traditions, Christmas has so many that come to mind: decorating the tree and house, driving around to look at lights, Dad reading “’ Twas the Night Before Christmas.” These have evolved into new traditions over the years. I started making strawberry jam, and it has become a tradition to make it every Christmas. A good friend and colleague keeps trying to convince me I should open a business because she enjoys it so much.

Every Christmas we now go see the lights at Longwood Gardens. Christmas Eve is spent in our pajamas and exchanging gifts with one another. This is always my favorite. Watching the joy as each person opens up their personalized gifts is what it’s all about. Easter is another holiday I can’t wait to experience with your child. I can envision playing “hot or cold” when hunting for eggs to enjoying our favorite foods during a family brunch and watching the cousins run around and play with each other as we build our memories as a family.

Our family always enjoyed a little family competition growing up – from sugar cookie decorating contests to racing to find the Easter eggs the fastest. I honestly never remember who actually won. I remember the feelings of pure joy, laughter, and fun that were brought forth through these activities, and I can’t wait to make memories like these someday with your child.

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Career

I have had a great deal of experience with children throughout my life. I am the oldest, on both my mom and dad’s side of the family. I have helped to watch siblings, cousins, and neighborhood kids growing up. In high school, I decided that it only made sense to look into elementary education as a career due to my love of children. I have now been an elementary school teacher for over 20 years. I began my career teaching first grade for 3 years. Then I changed to teaching second grade and have been there ever since. I absolutely love what I do! I get excited to find ways for students to learn and succeed, and I am like a proud mama when I watch a student really take off and begin to shine.

Because I was so shy as a student, I take special care to figure out how to make my students feel welcomed, comfortable and loved so they can truly spread their wings and grow. I find it really rewarding to problem-solve and figure out a way to help a child who is struggling. I will search online in the evenings for new ideas or strategies to help a particular student or the whole class learn something new. I can’t wait to go in the next day and give it a try. I will think and rethink an idea until I find the way that works best. Seeing it work is just the best feeling!

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Faith

I believe in God and celebrate all of the typical Christian holidays. When my dad passed away in 2013, we had a minister, who my sister knew from her time participating in youth group as a kid, administer the service. She was incredible, and I loved the way she talked about the feelings we were having. She was honest, thoughtful, and provided practical ideas on how to process it all. I felt very comforted by her. Even though I don’t actively go to church, I do spend time talking to God, my dad, and other deceased members of our family asking them to look out for our family and guide us. There have been times since my dad’s passing where someone has said to me, “That was your dad’s influence,” and I truly believe it is.

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My Hobbies

I like to read, particularly mystery novels. I also love to watch sports, especially football. I cheer on our local teams – the Phillies and the Eagles- and also support my former hometown teams in Cleveland. My mom went to Ohio State while my dad went to Michigan, so I have always followed Big Ten football and now mainly root for Penn State. My family participates in a fantasy football league every year too, where I have been crowned the champion on 2 occasions. OH YEAH!!! The satisfaction I get from beating my cousin Neil, who is super competitive, is enough of a prize for me! In fact, my ultimate goal is just to beat Neil, because it bugs him so much. Maybe I can be a little competitive too :).

In addition, I find it rewarding to work on projects around my house. Painting a room, reorganizing a space, landscaping my yard, or decorating for the various seasons or holidays always gets me excited. My dad taught me how to do many basic things around the house, and I feel confident to tackle these on my own most of the time. A friend of mine called me “Molly Depot” one day when I was helping with a project around her house and the nickname stuck.

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Shared Interests

My favorite thing to do is to spend time with friends and family. Whether it is going out to dinner, a backyard BBQ, or birthday and holiday celebrations, being with the people I love is always a good time. I particularly enjoy finding things to do with my nieces and nephews. It could be exploring a museum, nature center, local park, or getting creative at home with a cooking project or science experiment. My mom has a pool in her backyard, so spending time swimming or relaxing around the pool is almost always on the list in the summer. Our extended family and some of my friends live in various parts of the country – Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, California, Colorado, etc. I look forward to planning trips to visit them when I can. It also offers a great opportunity to explore these areas of the country. I also love to go to the beach and anytime spent near the water makes me happy.

I also do what I can to support the local community. My work community organizes many events to help those in need: we donate clothes and food to the homeless in a nearby large city; we collect school supplies, clothing, and other necessities for our local families. I also organize “Pink Day” in honor of my dear friend and colleague, Rachel, who passed away from breast cancer at the age of 34. Every year on February 22nd, her birthday, the entire school community dresses in pink and donates to the foundation started in her honor. We typically raise about $1,000 each year!

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What Your Child's Life Will Be Like

I will be returning to work after I take a Family Leave for baby’s arrival. My mom has offered to babysit one day a week. Your child will attend daycare for the other weekdays. There are 2 or 3 within 10 minutes of my home, which have received good recommendations from friends. As a teacher, I will be home with your child each summer and during breaks. We will go on daily walks, have play dates with my friends’ children, and spend time with my nieces and nephews. We will frequent the park and local library while also spending time at home reading and playing. My mom has a pool in her backyard, so I envision us spending a lot of time there, as well.

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How A Child WIll Enrich My Life

A child will enrich my life in more ways than I can imagine. The absolute joy I experience when I spend time with my nieces and nephews is just immeasurable. They are funny, smart, sweet, and have so many gifts. It is so much fun to watch them learn and grow. I can only imagine how that will feel when I raise a child. I also know that a child will teach me a lot too. Having taught elementary-aged students for many years, I have learned so much from working with them. During class meetings and daily interactions, I teach them how to handle problems and deal with frustrations. I have taken some of my own advice in using these strategies, and it has helped me to grow too.

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My Promise to You

I will tell my child that his or her Birth Mom is an extraordinary human being. That you love and care for them so much and wanted to do what was best for them. My goal is to raise a child who shows manners and respect and develops responsibility and independence. I will encourage anything that he/she shows passion for and teach them how working hard and showing “grit” pays off. I am truly thankful for the decision you are making. I promise that your baby will be loved and cared for daily. Because of your choice, you are making my dreams of becoming a mother a reality, and for that, I am forever grateful.