Taryn

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From Me to You

Dear Expectant Mother,

As I write this letter to you, I’m filled with so many emotions. I’m not even sure where to begin. But, here it goes! First, I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings you have and will continue to have as you consider placing your child for adoption. I consider you to be such a selfless, caring, and brave person for making the choice to put your baby’s needs at the forefront of your mind. I can’t imagine this has been easy by any means.

I’d like you to know how incredibly grateful I am to you. In making this decision, you have allowed me to fulfill my life-long dream of becoming a mom. I feel honored that you’re considering me to take on this incredible responsibility and hope that, by reading this letter, you find comfort in knowing that I will do anything and everything in my power to ensure that your little one is surrounded by lots of love and laughter and that they experience all the great joys and happiness of life while also feeling supported during any tough times.

Being a mom is something I have thought about since I was a little girl playing “house” with my sisters, cousins, and friends throughout my childhood. I am the oldest child in the family, so taking care of kids is something I’m a natural at. I started babysitting in middle school and continued enjoying being around kids! There is never a dull moment when you’re around children. At the end of any day that I’ve been around kids, I always find myself reflecting on my interactions with them. They always impressed me with their adult-like language, how they mimicked things they’ve seen or heard, and how excited they got to tell me a story or show me something they’re proud of. From the funny things they say to their excitement for the little things in life to watching them learn and grow…being a part of that fills my heart with joy. As I began my college career, I naturally chose to study elementary education and haven’t looked back since. I’ve been teaching at the elementary level and I’m very passionate about what I do. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) when I was in high school, and I began to realize that having a child of my own might be difficult, and I started to think that someday adoption might be my answer to becoming a mom. The desire to be a mom is so much stronger than getting married, and I don’t want to hold off on my dream any longer. I am financially secure, I have lots of support from my family and friends, a loving home to raise a child in, and I can provide your child with a life filled with love, security, and making memories.

My family and friends are very important to me, and so many of our days would be spent doing activities with those I love. Many of my friends have children, and I envision many play dates and backyard BBQ’s with all of the kids running around. I have 2 sisters who each have children of their own. We get together often for holidays and birthday celebrations, as well as for days by my mom’s backyard pool. I love taking my nieces and nephews to explore local children’s museums, parks, zoos, or gardens. I have very fond memories of our traditional Easter egg hunt competitions and exchanging gifts at Christmas as we sat around the table after breakfast. Several years ago I made a sign for my kitchen that reads, “The most special memories are made when gathered around the family table,” and I look forward to adding to those memories with my own children someday.

I feel fortunate to live in a wonderful community neighborhood in the suburbs, about 45 minutes outside of a large city. My neighbors are friendly, always waving, or taking time to talk when I go on a walk. There is an annual block party, and my yard backs up to a beautiful pond, which is frequented by many forms of wildlife. It is so peaceful and provides instant entertainment when the animals are around.

In raising a child, I will provide a passion for learning (that one is probably obvious since I am a teacher…haha!) and develop responsibility, independence, and respect for others. These ideals were instilled as important attributes by my dad, who sadly passed away due to cancer, and mom when I was growing up. I believe these are imperative to living a successful life. I’m very thankful to have had these life lessons and will continue to uphold them as I raise a child. “Character is how you live your life when no one is looking” is a favorite quote of mine, and it will be an overarching theme through my parenthood journey.

I feel like I could go on and on, but I certainly do not want to overwhelm you with too many details as you choose the best fit for your baby. Please know if you choose me, I am open to interacting and having more conversations. I envision many nights spent cuddled up with your precious child in my arms reading books and sharing stories about his/her birth mom, who made the most loving and selfless decision and put such trust in me that I am forever blessed.

With Gratitude Always,
Taryn

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About Me

I am one of 3 girls to my parents, John and Donna. My dad passed away from cancer almost 7 years ago, so my mom is now a widow. I am the oldest child and my 2 sisters are Jayme and Elyse. We were all born in Ohio, where my parents grew up, and we moved to Pennsylvania when I was 10 years old. We still take trips to visit extended family as often as we can. We all really enjoy each other’s company, and there is always a lot of fun and laughter when we are together. Several years ago I made a sign for my kitchen that reads, “The most special memories are made when gathered around the family table.” I can think of many stories and traditions in our family that echo this statement.

I have an easy-going personality, I’m very independent, and I believe in the importance of good character. I have a poster in my classroom that says, “Character is how you live life when no one is looking.” When discussing ideas with friends, family, or colleagues, I am pretty willing to go with the flow. However, if I feel very passionate about something, you will know it, as I will express this opinion and can be pretty set in my ways about following it through. Through some leadership roles that I have taken on in my career, I have been able to work on being more flexible and realizing that if it’s not done completely my way, it can still be done well. I have a good deal of patience and don’t lose my patience often. I have learned a lot about how to handle this through teaching my students. You have to practice what you preach! There have been instances where I have said, “I need some time to cool off”, rather than letting my emotions get the best of me. There is this interesting piece to me where something someone does or says will often remind me of a song. I will often burst into song when that happens. I have learned to use this to my advantage in situations where I’m feeling like I’m losing my patience. I will change the words to a song and sing my frustrations. For example, I often change the words to “Let it Go” in my classroom. I might sing, “Get it done” or “Stop talking now.” It serves to release that pent up energy and allows me to bring humor and light to the situation. When making decisions, I like to think things through. I’ve learned to not make quick decisions, as I often find myself rethinking it later and wishing I had done something differently. I find when take time to mull it over, I make better decisions.

I have 2 nieces (Lana and Bella), a step-niece (Sierra), and 2 nephews (Ryder and Avery), who I cannot get enough of! Our family typically gets together once or twice a month and playing with the kids is so fun and entertaining. I have also helped out my sister, Jayme with her children many summers by watching Ryder and Lana anywhere from 1-2 times per week. I’ve been doing this with Ryder since he was 9 months old and he is now 6 years old. Jayme says she owes me big time for all the help I’ve given her over the years, and I can’t wait to cash in….haha! In addition, many of my cousins and friends have children who I have spent time with over the years. I have been called the “baby whisperer” by some and hope that this will ring true when I become a mother.

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My Relationship with You

It’s important to me for your child to always know who you are.  To know your love for them, your strength and courage, and how you sacrificed your own wants and needs for what was best for your child.  I also want them to know your likes, dislikes, and your personality.   I would love to get to know you through our adoption journey together, so I can share those special moments with your child during those special moments of our day.  Those little moments are the big and important life moments that memories are made of and are cherished through the years.

I will leave the level of contact you would like to have with your child and want you to know that I am open to and would love to share with you pictures and videos of your child as we both watch him/her grow.  If you are comfortable, I am open to face-time and even visits if that is something you are hoping for.

I’m open to what makes you feel comfortable so that you can continue to be a part of this little munchkin’s life.  There’s a lot of love to give in this world, and keeping happy, healthy relationships is part of that.  Your child seeing the love and respect we have for each other is an important part of their growth, and as mothers, your child’s best interest will always be first.

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It Takes a Village

My adoption journey began with my dream of becoming a mom. That dream has blossomed into a reality as my friends’ and family’s support has been a constant presence. With the news that my adoption journey was officially underway, my sisters and friends almost immediately began clearing out their baby storage areas to pass on all the essentials. My niece, Lana, had just moved into a toddler bed, and the building of a nursery began as my brother-in-law, Ben, helped me move their kids’ crib into the space I had envisioned becoming a home for a baby. My closets and basement storage areas quickly started to fill up with all the best hand-me-downs, but my mom and sisters knew that wasn’t all a baby was going to need. So, they planned the most incredible shower to celebrate and eventually welcome a new addition.

I was overwhelmed with the joy and generosity shown to me on this day. From a hand-knit yellow blanket that reminds me of the one I had when I was a baby to nursery décor and notecards with motherly advice (which I know will be referenced time and time again), this baby will certainly have everything they need and more. Additionally, my nephew, Avery, is on high alert for anything I may need. He insisted my sister, Elyse, take him shopping so he could pick out some bottles, toys, and a blanket and give it to me for my last birthday. To top it off, my mom scooped me up on a mission to find the perfect complement to the crib, a dresser and glider, which she gave me as her gift.

The day we went to pick up the furniture was so exciting. Ben and my friend’s husband and son were there to get the furniture safely upstairs and into place. Now the fun really began, as I was able to start to bring all the pieces of my nursery vision together. I was especially thrilled to organize the books. As a teacher, I can’t get enough of books and know what an important role they play in a child’s development. One of my favorites is probably “I Love You a Bushel and a Peck,” as this was a song my Nana used to sing to us as babies. However, this vision won’t be fully complete until this dream is fulfilled and the final touches can be personalized for the baby-to-be.

I also know this is only the beginning of the journey with my village. In texting with my cousin’s wife recently, she shared her continued prayers for my miracle to happen soon and said when it does, I will be “bombarded with help.” I feel so grateful to have such amazing friends and family in my life, who will be there with me every step of the way.

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Home and Neighborhood

Buying a single-family home was my first big step towards making my adoption dreams come true.  I knew when I started a family, I wanted a friendly neighborhood where children can run and play outside.  I feel like I hit the jackpot when I found this house.  It has provided me with so much more than I could have imagined, and I can’t wait to share that with your child!

Seeing your child smile and wave hello to neighbors as we take an evening stroll will bring me such joy.  There is an annual block party, Halloween party, lighting of luminaries at the holidays, and other informal get-togethers throughout the year that I know I will enjoy even more when I get to experience it through the eyes of a child.  My fenced-in backyard, which faces a beautiful pond, has been a sanctuary for me.  I can envision many moments of stopping what we’re doing to watch the various animals from the back patio or through the window as they scurry around.  When the weather is nice, many hours will be spent in the backyard: playing ball, running through the sprinkler, taking a walk around the pond, and playing on the swing set.

Every time I have friends and family over, they can’t stop talking about what a wonderful setting it is, and I couldn’t agree more.  I get so excited when I think about how much fun it will be to raise a child here!

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My Family

I have a tremendous support system. My immediate family all lives in the area. My mom and sister Jayme live about 15 minutes from me, and my sister Elyse lives in Delaware, about an hour away. My extended family isn’t nearby, but I am close to a couple of my cousins who have children, and I know that they will offer advice and support through this process. My aunts and uncles will be out for many visits, as well. My Uncle Don, who is my dad’s twin brother, has reached out because he knows how much my dad would have been involved if he were still alive, and he wants to be part of the whole experience in a similar way. In fact, Uncle Don’s grandchildren used to call my dad “Grandpa #2,”  so I know my Uncle Don will embrace that title well.

I also have many friends in the area. I am still very close with 5 of my friends from high school.  We try to get together once a month for dinner, and they are all very excited to support me in my adoption journey. I also have a great group of colleagues, many of whom have become great friends. It is a wonderful community of people who are also sharing in my joy and looking forward to having play dates with their young children, as well. Many are beginning to set things aside to help me prepare for baby’s arrival.

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Family Traditions

Another part of having a child that excites me is celebrating the traditions my family has established and beginning to make some of our own.  I have so many great memories of how our traditions evolved over the years.

As I think about traditions, Christmas has so many that come to mind:  decorating the tree and house, driving around to look at lights, Dad reading “’Twas the Night Before Christmas,” and visiting extended family. At Christmas, we always made and decorated sugar cookies. My sisters and I would help Mom bake the cookies using the Christmas cookie cutters.  Once the cookies cooled, Mom would make the frosting as Dad sat down with us to frost them.  The tradition continued well into our college years, and it turned into a friendly family competition as Mom had to judge which cookies were the best.  We created categories like: Most Traditional, Most Creative and Most Detailed and winning gave you bragging rights.  Of course, a cookie always “broke” when you were frosting it, and you were “forced” to eat it. On Christmas day, after opening presents from Santa, we would have a huge brunch. Then we would sit around the dining room table exchanging gifts with one another.  The youngest passed out their gifts first, and we watched the joy as each person opened up their personalized gifts from one another. After the opening concluded, we would clean up brunch and play with all of our new gifts, staying in our pajamas well into the afternoon.

Easter is another holiday I can’t wait to experience with your child. When I was a kid, we were often returning from our vacation in Florida where we visited my grandparents for part of our Spring Break.  Upon returning and unpacking, Easter was right around the corner, and it was time to dye the eggs.  We never quite seemed to master a “tried and true” egg dying method.  As we worked to “fix” the eggs that didn’t look so good, it frequently turned to laughter at how terrible some of the eggs ended up looking.  Perhaps we should have had a “Worst Easter Egg” contest.  After finishing, we would head to bed.  The next morning, the “Easter Bunny” (my dad) would hide the eggs along with a few presents and an Easter basket.  As we got older, my dad greatly enjoyed making it difficult to find these items, and it got harder each year.  Again, we continued this tradition well beyond our “believing” years, and as we got older we raced to see who could find all of their items first.

Guess you could say we enjoy a little friendly competition, but I honestly never remember who actually won once time passes.  I remember the feelings of pure joy, laughter, and fun that were brought forth through these activities, and I can’t wait to make memories like these someday with your child.

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Career

I have had a great deal of experience with children throughout my life. I am the oldest, on both my mom and dad’s side of the family. I have helped to watch my siblings and cousins many times when I was younger. Then, around the age of 11 or 12, I began babysitting for the neighborhood kids, and there were a lot of them! This basically became my job throughout middle and high school. There were a few families who considered me to be their regular sitter. In high school, I decided that it only made sense to look into elementary education as a career due to my love of children. I have now been an elementary school teacher for almost 20 years. I began my career teaching first grade for 3 years. Then I changed to teaching second grade and have been there ever since. I absolutely love what I do! I get excited to find ways for students to learn and succeed, and I am like a proud mama when I watch a student really take off and begin to shine. Because I was so shy as a student, I take special care to figure out how to make my students feel welcomed, comfortable, and loved so they can truly spread their wings and grow. I find it really rewarding to problem-solve and figure out a way to help a child who is struggling. I will search online in the evenings for new ideas or strategies to help a particular student or the whole class learn something new. I can’t wait to go in the next day and give it a try. I will think and rethink an idea until I find the way that works best. Seeing it work is just the best feeling!

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Faith

I believe in God and celebrate all of the typical Christian holidays. When my dad passed away in 2013, we had a minister, who my sister knew from her time participating in youth group as a kid, administer the service. She was incredible, and I loved the way she talked about the feelings we were having. She was honest, thoughtful, and provided practical ideas on how to process it all. I felt very comforted by her. Even though I am don’t actively go to church, I do spend time talking to God, my dad, and other deceased members of our family asking them to look out for our family and guide us. There have been times since my dad’s passing where someone has said to me, “That was your dad’s influence,” and I truly believe it is.

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Hobbies

My favorite thing to do is to spend time with friends and family. Whether it is going out to dinner, a backyard BBQ, or birthday and holiday celebrations, being with the people I love is always a good time. I particularly enjoy finding things to do with my nieces and nephews. It could be exploring a museum, nature center, local park, or getting creative at home with a cooking project or science experiment. My mom has a pool in her backyard, so spending time swimming or relaxing around the pool is almost always on the list in the summer. Our extended family and some of my friends live in various parts of the country – Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, California, Colorado, etc. I look forward to planning trips to visit them when I can. It also offers a great opportunity to explore these areas of the country. Last summer my friend and I planned a trip to visit another friend in Fort Collins, CO. We visited Rocky Mountain National Park and spent time along the Poudre River. What a beautiful place! I also love to go to the beach and spent summers there during my early career days.

I like to read, particularly mystery novels. I also love to watch sports, especially football. I cheer on our local teams – the Phillies and the Eagles- and also support my former hometown teams in Cleveland. My mom went to Ohio State while my dad went to Michigan, so I have always followed Big Ten football and now mainly root for Penn State. My family participates in a fantasy football league every year too, where I have been crowned the champion on 2 occasions. OH YEAH!!! We don’t play for money, but the satisfaction I get from beating my cousin Neil, who is super competitive, is enough of a prize for me! In fact, my ultimate goal is just to beat Neil, because it bugs him so much. Maybe I can be a little competitive too :).

In addition, I find it rewarding to work on projects around my house. Painting a room, reorganizing a space, landscaping my yard, or decorating for the various seasons or holidays always gets me excited. My dad taught me how to do many basic things around the house, and I feel confident to tackle these on my own most of the time. A friend of mine called me “Molly Depot” one day when I was helping with a project around her house and the nickname stuck. I’m currently trying to figure out how to create a walkway from my driveway to my back patio with flagstone I removed from various places in the yard.

I also do what I can to support the local community. My work community organizes many events to help those in need: we donate clothes and food to the homeless in a nearby large city; we collect school supplies, clothing, and other necessities for our local families. I also organize “Pink Day” in honor of my dear friend and colleague, Rachel, who passed away from breast cancer at the age of 34. Every year on February 22nd, her birthday, the entire school community dresses in pink and donates a dollar to the organization her family started in her honor. This foundation provides assistance with out-of-pocket expenses related to cancer treatments and recovery. We typically raise about $1,000 each year.

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What Your Child's Life Will Be Like

I will be returning to work after I take a Family Leave for baby’s arrival. My mom has offered to babysit one day a week. Your child will attend daycare for the other weekdays. There are 2 or 3 within 10 minutes of my home, which have received good recommendations from friends. However, depending on the status of COVID-19 at the time of baby’s arrival, I will also seriously consider looking into an at-home daycare or some neighborhood families that could potentially share childcare. As a teacher, I will be home with your child each summer and during breaks. We will go on daily walks, have play dates with my friends’ children, and spend time with my nieces and nephews. We will frequent the park and local library while also spending time at home reading and playing. My mom has a pool in her backyard, so I envision us spending a lot of time there, as well.

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How A Child WIll Enrich My Life

A child will enrich my life in more ways than I can imagine. The absolute joy I experience when I spend time with my nieces and nephews is just immeasurable. They are funny, smart, sweet, and have so many gifts. It is so much fun to watch them learn and grow. I can only imagine how that will feel when I raise a child. I also know that a child will teach me a lot too. Having taught elementary-aged students for many years, I have learned so much from working with them. During class meetings and daily interactions, I teach them how to handle problems and deal with frustrations. I have taken some of my own advice in using these strategies, and it has helped me to grow too.

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My Promise to You

I will tell my child that his or her Birth Mom is an extraordinary human being. That you love and care for them so much and wanted to do what was best for them. My goal is to raise a child who shows manners and respect and develops responsibility and independence. I will encourage anything that he/she shows passion for and teach them how working hard and showing “grit” pays off. I am truly thankful for the decision you are making. I promise that your baby will be loved and cared for daily. Because of your choice, you are making my dreams of becoming a mother a reality, and for that, I am forever grateful.