David and Kristy

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From Us to You

Ever have a dream that you work so hard for, but while you’re trying to make it happen, you realize you need help from others for it to come true? We are David and Kristy and we always dreamed of becoming a family with two children and a dog. Unfortunately, when we found out that David had Multiple Sclerosis (MS) we knew we were going to have to take a different road to make our dreams come true. We knew immediately that adoption was how we would grow our family. A handful of years ago, we began our adoption journey to our son, Jacen. In a whirlwind, we become parents to the most amazing little boy. Then one day when he was 2, he said he wanted a little sibling. That’s when we knew it was the right time to complete our dream. We believe God has a plan and everything that has happened was meant to bring us here to you.

We cannot imagine the thoughts and feelings going through your head and heart but know your baby will be in a home filled with love and laughter.  A place where music is made together and songs are constantly being sung, usually off-key by Kristy. Where we go outside for walks to visit the chickens (a family in the neighborhood raises them) or to take trips to the park and the zoo. Getting kisses (licks) from Mara, our dog, happens daily. Where stories are read to them and yes, we will ready the story “again-again-again,” as Jacen says. They will see the world through the trips we take. They will have playdates with other kids and also with the important adults in their lives. And perhaps one day they will come to appreciate Star Wars, Star Trek, and Harry Potter as much as we do. Snuggle time happens often and there is never a shortage of “I love you”s floating around.

If you’re wondering what our relationship will look like, well, we are too. We would love to hear your thoughts and help craft something that works for us all.  We currently have a shared Google Photos album that we put pictures in for Jacen’s birth mother where we share the occasional email, especially on his birthday, with pictures and updates on what we have been up to. We are more than happy to create an album for you and your baby, if that is what you would like. Our plans have not included visits yet, but we know one day they will ask about their birth mother and we want to be able to reach out and share information when and if it is appropriate for everyone. Our relationship will be so much stronger when we do it together.

Even though we will never know the questions, thoughts, and emotions circling in your head, we do know that you are one of the most amazing people in the world. Whether or not we are the right fit for you, we will still think you are amazing. We believe that God has a reason for everything and perhaps that is for us to touch each other’s lives. If it’s part of the plan, thank you for helping to make our dream a reality.

With Love,
Kristy, David, Jacen, and Mara

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

There are many reasons we want to adopt. Our son has been such a blessing in our lives and we hope to be lucky enough to experience another blessing. We want to be able to share our love with your baby and have our hearts filled with all the joy of seeing them grow. We have always wanted to have two children but after David was diagnosed with MS, we realized we had to do this in a different way, and we looked to adoption. We have adopted our son and are so excited to grow our family again through the blessing of adoption.

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About Us

We met because of our love of science fiction and specifically, Star Wars. These common interests are what attracted us to each other, but our differences are what help us to understand each other. In so many ways, we have helped each other grow as people. For example, David would have never gotten his Bachelor’s degree without support from Kristy while she was pursuing her EDD. We love to joke, sing, and quote movies. We play games, watch movies and just talk. Communication has been a large key to our relationship. It has helped us through the hard times.

From David: One of the sappiest things a friend has said to me was, “You guys are the relationship my wife and I want.”  I just stared at him in disbelief and said, “My friend all good relationships take work.”  We believe our relationship is as strong as it is because of all the hard work we have put into it.

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About Kristy, by David

I don’t know how I got so lucky to have Kristy in my life, much less as my wife. She is my positive ray of sunshine when I am down. She does so many things for me to make life fun and less stressful. She has always been very supportive of me, but it was never more apparent to me than when I found out that I had MS. She kept me going, never letting me feel sorry for myself. She encouraged me to go to work, even on the bad days, knowing that doing so would give me purpose to keep pushing to be better. Without her, I do not know what would have happened to me. There are so many other things she does, from cooking food that is good for us, to helping to take care of me if I do happen to have a bad night.

I never thought I would find someone who enjoys so many things that I do, from science fiction to comics to board games. We watch movies together and even animated series, mostly Star Wars, but we have been known to watch a Batman cartoon from time to time. Kristy knew how much I like Captain America, so she took me out to dinner and then to the midnight showing of Captain America the First Avenger. I loved the movie so much that she even took me back the next day to see it again. Kristy is not just the love of my life she is my best friend.

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About David, by Kristy

When I think about David, it’s not hard to see why he is included in my gratitude journal almost every day. It’s the little things that make him so special.  He never complains about cleaning out Jacen’s bathtub toys before he takes his shower. We don’t have a dishwasher, so he does the dishes every day without complaint and even thanks me on the days I don’t create a ton of things for him to wash. When I have a paper due for class, he is fantastic at keeping Jacen occupied so I can get it done. He will read one of Jacen’s favorite books to him over and over. Even though he may be having a bad day because of his MS, he always has time to play and read with Jacen. He is so supportive of all the crazy and wacky things I want to do, from being a Pampered Chef Consultant to getting a doctorate, he always lifts me up and tells me I can do it. David shows us he loves us in a million different ways in the small things he does for us every day.

What I love the most about him are our mutual interests.  We met because of a love of Star Wars and Star Trek, and he came along on the Harry Potter ride with me when the series came out.  It was so fun to read those books together before bed. He loves the theater as much as I do and was happy to get season tickets.  We also share a love of movies, although we differ on horror, I can’t stand it. David enjoys spending time after a play or a movie analyzing what we liked or didn’t like, and really picking it apart.  For many Christmases, he has merged the two loves and given me the gift of seeing the Harry Potter movies while a live symphony plays the score. It is a magical event that he has given me.  I am a very lucky woman to be married to my best friend who supports me in all I do.

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Our Lifestyle

We like to think we have a simple life. We enjoy spending time with each other, our friends, and family. An average workday starts off with singing Jacen awake and a quick breakfast before heading off to school or work. On the way home, we usually sing or talk about our days and drive past the cows. Believe it or not, there is a little cow farm right in the middle of town. If the weather is nice, we might stop by the park for a while or go for a walk. At home there is playtime or an activity, then dinner, bath, and bedtime. After Jacen is asleep, we often play games ourselves, like Flux, Dresden or something else. On the weekends we like to put the house back in order, then it’s time to play. We might go outside to play with friends, go to the zoo, or hang out with our friends. Once a month a group of our adult friends comes over for a game day.

We have season tickets to the theater with Kristy’s mom so about every other month we can be found there. We also really like to see movies where the symphony plays the score live. We can’t wait until we can take our children to these events too. From time to time Kristy has a 5k race that she often takes Jacen to. Sunday morning is church with Kristy’s mom and then brunch back at our house. Spending time with our family and friends is at the heart of what we do.

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Home & Neighborhood

We are very lucky to have found a home in the city that still feels like we are in the country. Our home has a wooded area on one side and a nice creek behind our house. We also have a good-sized backyard and we are the last house in a cul-de-sac. There is plenty of space for children to explore and grow in. Our neighborhood has so many children with friendly responsible parents, who have been great with our son and are excited that we are adopting again. One snowy day our son went sledding with the kids in the neighborhood and all the parents helped and watched out for them. All in all, we have a great area to raise children in.

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Our Dog, Mara

We have one pet, a dog named Mara. We could not ask for a more loving animal. She adores our son, licking him and letting him play with her in a toddler way. She is a mutt but is mostly a German Shepard. We adopted her from a Vet Tech program and when they showed her to us she was so happy to see us that it was love at first sight.  The vet tech had named her Roo from a character in the Hunger Games. However, we took one look at her and knew she was meant to be Mara Jade, a character in the Star Wars novels. We cannot imagine our family without her.

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Our Families & Friends

Although we do not have a large family, they are all very supportive of our want to adopt again.  Kristy’s mother lives only 10 minutes from us and is very involved in our son’s life and wants to be involved in our second adoption just as much. David’s parents live on 6 and half acres of land with plenty of space for children to play and explore the world. David’s father loves to talk about all the birds that they see in the different seasons. Kristy has two sisters and David has an older brother and niece.

We have many friends who have been a large part of our son’s life and are excited to be a part of your baby’s life.  Jonathan is our son’s god father. He and his wife, Miranda, enjoy playing with Jacen and have expressed how much they are looking forward to bonding with your baby. Our friends Donna, Jacki, Eva and Jacen’s godmother, Lisa, form such an amazing support system for us through everything in our lives and will do so for your baby.

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Our Relationship with Jacen's Birth Mother

Jacen’s birth mother is an amazing woman who thought only of what was best for Jacen. She had not realized she was pregnant and so when she chose us, Jacen had already been born. We did not have a lot of time to get to know her.  When we met her, we had a wonderful conversation before she sent us to meet Jacen. After we left the hospital, we spoke a few times before we headed home. Unfortunately, she had a work emergency that prohibited us from getting together before we left town. After that we made sure to send photos and emails to her every 3 months for the first year, then on birthdays after. We are always happy to hear from her but want her to do what makes her comfortable. We share what’s been going on with Jacen and check in on her and her family.  We do have a Google Photos album that we made for her and we add photos to that often. We have great respect for her and her story. She is now and will always be in our hearts and prayers.

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Traditions

We have so many fun traditions! Thursday is Family Game night. Our favorite family games to play are Candy Land, sorting games, and a cute fishing game that Jacen’s aunt and uncle got him.  We are movie buffs and we want to share that love with our kids, so Friday night is Pizza and Movie Night. We don’t have a lot of screen time during the week, so going downstairs to watch a movie on the big TV is a special treat. One day it may be at a theater, but for now it’s at home. Christmas is all about making cookies! Spritz cookies are so fun and easy for Jacen to help with and he feel so proud of himself for helping. And of course, gingerbread men are just fun!  We have a select group of family and friends over for Christmas Eve and the kids open presents and we have pierogis. We share lots of laughter and get the last-minute presents wrapped and put together for the adults. At Easter we dye eggs and do an Easter egg hunt. For the Fourth of July we go to David’s parents and have a great birthday celebration, their birthdays are between the 1st and the 7^th, and set off fireworks! In the summer multiple trips to the zoo are a must! We also take a yearly vacation to go see someplace new or just sit back and relax.

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Vacations

We are both very passionate about vacations. From small weekend trips close to home to big weeklong vacations, WE LOVE TO TRAVEL. We go on vacation for two reasons. One is to relax and do nothing. These are usually our weekend getaways. Although we usually end up doing 1-2 things, most of the time is reading, watching movies, going for walks, or being at the pool. The other reason we go on vacation is to visit a place we don’t live near, so we can enjoy the sights and sounds that place has to offer. As members of a vacation club, we often get little extras that make the vacations more special. When we went to Charleston we stayed in the only hotel/resort that can be downtown. This made access to museums, the ocean, walking tours, and some fantastic food all within walking distance. We have a few rules when we travel. If there is a Hard Rock Café we must eat there at least once. We do not eat at chain restaurants we have back home. You need to visit at least one historic home, especially former presidents. We can’t wait to share the world with our children!

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

This is such an important topic, and one that is more important than ever. Learning about and understanding other peoples’ cultures is what helps us to work together as a community. Kristy grew up in Long Island, New York where many cultures live together and that is where her love of learning about other people’s religions, customs, cultures, ideas, etc. began. It is one of the reasons she loves the district she teaches in. Luckily, David shares the desire to learn about and embrace new cultures. This is why the people in our circle of friends are so important to us.  Learning how to make chai tea, a favorite drink of both of us, by a friend from India to being educated about jazz from one of our African American friends, we are grateful for all the people who have touched our lives and the individual strengths they share with us. We believe in embracing diversity and celebrating the commonalities that draw us together.