Nathaniel and Deborah

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mom,

We can’t imagine what you are going through right now. Our hearts ache for you as we think of the tough decisions you are facing as you try to determine what will be the best life for your tiny baby. We are honored that you would consider us as parents for your precious child. If you give us the opportunity to adopt your baby, we promise to cherish him or her with all of our heart, time, and energy. When they cry in the night, we will cuddle them; when they trip and scrape their knee, we will kiss them and cover the scrape with a Winnie-the-Pooh band-aid; when they conquer riding a bike, we will celebrate. We will be their coach, nurse, friend, and cheerleader. And when the questions come about how they were born we will tell them about you, the brave woman who loved them so much she made one of the hardest decisions anyone will ever make.

We would love to welcome your beautiful baby into our home. We both love children and can hardly imagine a life without them. When we were dating, we dreamed of creating a family with both biological and adopted children; then maybe doing foster care. God has a way of turning things upside down. We currently have one little foster daughter. Having her has been the most wonderful thing in our lives since our marriage. We would adopt her in a moment if we could, however, it seems likely she will be reunified with her parents. Having a baby in our home quickly taught us that the baby must be the center of our world. She tells us how much sleep we will get and if we can make supper right now. She demands hugs and nursery rhymes and splashy baths. We love her to the moon and back and long for the privilege of caring for your baby the same way.

We were excited to start our family, so shortly after we were married, we began trying to get pregnant. After trying unsuccessfully for two and a half years to conceive and many weary doctor appointments, we would love to move ahead with adoption. We have been given so much love and time and wonderful experiences by our parents and we dream of passing that on to more children.

Family is very important to us. We both come from close-knit families and our best childhood memories revolve around siblings and family time. Nathaniel is the youngest of seven children and Deb is second from the oldest in a family of four. Nathaniel grew up working beside his older brothers in his dad’s construction business. He tells tales of sledding in the winter, biking home from school, and playing tricks on each other. Deb’s best childhood memories include planting the garden together, roasting hotdogs around the campfire, playing “Hide and Seek” after dark, and biking on Sunday afternoons. We dream of creating the same kind of memories for your little one. Our siblings are some of our best friends and even though we don’t live in the same community as either of our families we get together with them as often as possible. Because of our own wonderful experiences, we would love to eventually add more children to our family so that your baby could experience life-long sibling friendships like we appreciate.

We are excited to meet you but also nervous. We hope that you like us and understand our commitment to love your baby unconditionally. You will always have a special place in our lives and I hope that we will be able to keep in touch and exchange pictures. We want you to know that we pray for you often. We pray that God will protect you and give you wisdom for the tough decisions you are facing and that you will feel His love with you every step of the way.

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Why We are Choosing to Adopt

Besides a natural love of children, adoption has been a dream for both of us since before we met each other. Nathaniel has several adopted nephews and nieces. It’s impossible to imagine the family without them. Watching them grow up, integrate, and thrive in his family was just normal to him. It seemed natural to want the same opportunity. We are grateful to have Nathaniel’s sister and brother-in-law, who have experience raising adopted, racially diverse children, to go to for advice and support. We are also excited that your child will have cousins who have also been adopted.

Deb’s passion was born while spending almost 2 years working at a children’s home in Tecate, Mexico. Their big eyes, mischievous tricks, and longing for family burned into her heart. While dating, we dreamed together of building a family of biological and adopted children. Since we got married, we discovered that we likely won’t be able to conceive. This only assured us that we were meant to build a family through adoption.

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About Deborah, by Nathaniel

My wife, Deb, is an adventurous introvert. She is ladylike, but also very willing to go on spontaneous outings. She is a natural at deep conversations. She loves books, water, flowers, people, and nature. She is very intelligent and takes a deep interest in anything that our friends are interested in. Deb is a gifted artist and a wonderful cook. She spent 2 years cooking at an orphanage in Mexico when she was in her mid-teens, and I believe that developed her cooking skills exponentially.  I love the way she keeps a tidy house, but not so neat that our foster daughter can’t get out her toys and make a mess with them if she wants. Deb might have a hundred things to do in a day, but she is very aware of the needs of our foster daughter, and if she needs attention and love she is quick to drop what she is doing and sit on the floor and play with toys with her or rock her for a while. Deb has a real love for children and the nieces and nephews and the children at church feel it and love her in return. I love to watch the way Deb looks out for our foster daughter; teaching her to be the best person she can be. I know she will do the same for your dear child as well.

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About Nathaniel, by Deborah

The first thing I noticed about Nathaniel was his open friendliness and generosity. He is full of fun, with a big grin, twinkling eyes, and a quick laugh.  We met when he moved to the private Christian day school where I taught, to become the principal and high school teacher. It wasn’t love at first sight, but he quickly gained not only my respect but also that of the students. At the end of each day, he would stand at the door and tell each student goodbye, calling them by name and talking to them about their lives. Now I’ve watched him become a dad to our foster daughter. Every evening she waits anxiously at the door for him to come home. He swoops her up, covering her with kisses, and carries her off for a swing ride in the backyard.

Not only does he now run his own construction business and mini-storage, but he is also on the school board and church youth committee. What attracted me to Nathaniel more than anything else, was his passion for life and people. Whatever he does is done wholeheartedly; whoever he loves is cherished deeply. It is exciting to see him pour himself into fatherhood for our foster daughter and I know he will love your precious baby just as completely and passionately as he loves her.

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Our Faith

Our Christian faith is central to who we are. Without Jesus Christ in our lives, we wouldn’t be in a place to welcome your baby into our home. God is a part of our daily lives and we want to teach your child about Him. We make a practice of having time for family devotions every day and attending church whenever there is a service. We are part of the Mennonite denomination. We believe the Bible is God’s Message to us and we try to live out what the Bible teaches. Because of Jesus’ teaching, we value honesty, kindness, forgiveness, generosity, modesty, and love for everyone to name a few. Our church is a big part of our lives. We think of the other members of our church as part of our family and they provide a huge support base for us. We love to share about our beliefs and are happy to answer when people ask questions.

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What We Will Teach

As former teachers, we are always on the lookout for teachable moments. Nathaniel is passionate about flying and would be delighted to teach your child all about airplanes and hopefully teach them to fly as well. Growing up in a family construction business has given Nathaniel experience with all kinds of equipment, plumbing, running electricity, and building almost anything under the sun. He also does basic mechanic work and has spent many hours tuning his airplane engine. He dreams of being able to work with your child, passing on all that practical knowledge while spending time with them, and forming deep relationships.

Deb is an excellent cook who rarely uses recipes, preferring to dream up her own concoctions. Already she has our toddler foster daughter helping her mix up cookie dough and wash the dishes. They have a blast together in the kitchen. Deb would also love to teach your child about plants and gardening as they grow up. She enjoys writing, drawing, painting, and playing the piano and would be delighted to encourage any interests your child would show in any of those areas. We would encourage your child to develop and explore their interests and to learn all that they can.

We both value reading. We have books in almost every room of our house. We believe that reading expands a child’s worldview and increases their vocabulary. We hope to instill a love of books in your child. Bedtime stories were a favorite part of Deb’s childhood and she hopes to continue that tradition with your child.

We believe it is important for children to understand their feelings and be able to talk about their emotions. Deb is already teaching our foster daughter about emotions pointing out sad, happy, and angry facial expressions as we read storybooks together. We want your child to be able to understand and talk about what and how they are feeling. We hope to develop close trusting friendships with your child so we can walk with them through the rough teenage years as they grapple with who they are and where they came from.

Most of all we want to teach your child that they are special because God made them and loves them. We want to help them learn about God and come to know Him in a personal relationship.

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Lifestyle

Our lives are built around family and church. To us family is about commitment, unconditional love, and togetherness. Church is a place of joy, encouragement and learning to know God better with our friends.

Nathaniel embraces life with gusto, spreading contagious excitement and plenty of giggles to our little family. Deb is quiet, taking time to enjoy squirrels, and books, and sunshine, and clouds; pointing them out to our foster baby.

Nathaniel runs a construction business and a mini-storage. He has two passions: people and planes. He always has a friendly greeting for everyone and takes time to stop and talk with anyone. People seem drawn to his honest and caring personality and end up confiding in him and asking for advice. He owns a two-seat “Challenger” airplane that he flies out of our backyard. He loves to give people rides; often Sunday afternoons are spent flying with other pilot buddies or giving rides to friends. We enjoy taking peaceful evening flights and attending the local flight club meetings together. Being able to rent larger airplanes to travel to see family and friends is awesome.

Deb is a stay-at-home mom, who loves gardening, baking, home-cooking and carries our little girl everywhere with her. She loves having her little sidekick.  Every afternoon she and the baby ride bike out the lane to get the mail, stop to pet the kitty, and look for tadpoles swimming in the ditch. She has dabbled in art since her early teens; doing pencil drawing and experimenting with painting with acrylic, then watercolors, and finally oils. She loves having deep conversations and learning to understand how people think. This past year she started a writing group with several friends.

Evenings often find us eating supper on the back patio, tussling on the living room floor with our foster daughter, and reading a Bible story together before tucking our baby to bed. On the weekends we love going on bike rides and picnics or having friends over. We dream of having another little one to show the joy of picnics and squirrels and to join in with the tussles and snuggles before bed.

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Home & Neighborhood

We live in a small, country house surrounded by beautiful shade trees, deep in the farming community of Mississippi. We love the way our living-room, dining-room, kitchen, and toy area are all open to each other making it easy to hang out together while Deb is making supper, Nathaniel is relaxing in the living-room, and our foster daughter is playing and running between us. Just being together as a family is very important to us.  We have a huge yard perfect for children to spend hours riding bike, playing pitch and catch, and flying remote control airplanes. Recently Nathaniel hung a tire swing in the giant pecan tree behind the house. It gets daily use! We hope to someday add some chickens and other small, child-friendly animals to our crew. The fields around our house sport hay bales, soybeans, corn, cotton, and catfish ponds.  You won’t find a friendlier culture than the one in our Deep South community. The talk is slow, the people wave, and the fried chicken is mighty fine. We enjoy jaunts out to the wildlife refuge near us. There are plenty of hiking trails, biking paths, and boardwalks over the water with wildlife everywhere. There are children’s parks and swimming holes close by that your child would enjoy as he or she grew up.

We are part of a close church community that we consider family. Deb loves getting together with the other young moms from church at the sewing circle or just for coffee though out the week. All the children bring their dolls, tricycles, and other toys and have a grand time playing together. Several other families from church have also adopted both African-American and Caucasian children. In our community, your baby would be surrounded by little friends of a variety of races.

Nathaniel is a board member of an excellent, private, K-12 school in our community where we plan to send your child. We both taught there before we were married and gained experience working with children, including those with learning differences like dyslexia.

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Racial & Cultural Diversity

We believe that every individual is special because they are uniquely created by God. He carefully planned everything about your baby down to how many hairs will grow on their head. He loves your sweet baby so much He put special thought into each dimple and quirk. God picked you to give this child life for one reason: because He loves you. Part of the beauty of who your baby will be as a person is their ethnicity and the rich culture they come from. We love the beauty and diversity of different cultures and we are excited to learn more about your background and history. We hope to explore with your child and understand with them where they come from.

Both of us have had the opportunity to live in other cultures and learn from them. We love our friends from other cultures. We know from experience that cultures play a huge role and we are excited to explore the history and background that your child can claim.

We are thankful to live in a community that is very diverse and where adoption is not uncommon. There are several other families in our community who have racially diverse children. We expect to learn a lot from them and are grateful to be able to ask them questions. Nathaniel’s sister has adopted several children from different racial backgrounds; it is beautiful to see them together. We are delighted that in our family your child will have first and second cousins who are also from different ethnicities.

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Our Families

Family is a wonderful part of our lives. Deb grew up as the second child in a family of four. She has an older sister, a younger sister, and a brother who is the proud dad of a little boy. Her oldest sister and her brother are both married and both expecting babies due soon. We live about two hours from her family; close enough that we frequently spend the weekends together. Deb’s mom and dad are doting grandparents that love to cuddle their grandchildren. Deb’s mom “Granny” will sometimes randomly drive the two hours between us just to see and spend time with our foster daughter. She is so excited to meet and cuddle your baby as well.

Nathaniel’s family spills over with fun and laughter. He is the youngest of seven children and uncle to oodles of nieces and nephews, 28 to be exact. Their family reunions bubble over with cousins and jokes and fun. Papa and Grammy, Nathaniel’s parents dote on every last one of their grandchildren, cuddling the babies, playing games, and having late night chats with the older ones. Somehow, they keep track of all the family birthdays, anniversaries, baptisms, and other special events. The family is spread out over the country but hardly a day goes by without a lively conversation on the family “chat”.

Most of our vacations are spent with our extended family. This past summer we spent time with Nathaniel’s sister and her family. We took a pontoon boat out on a canal and rode trails on a four-wheeler. We also visited Nathaniel’s three brothers who live out West. We were able to go hiking with them and spent time flying airplanes. Belize is a favorite destination for us. Since Nathaniel’s parents lived there as missionaries for ten years, they have explored much of the country and know all the out-of-the-way corners. It is wonderful to spend time with them and have our personal tour guides. Deb’s parents live within easy driving distance of the Gulf of Mexico. We enjoy spending a day shopping and going to the beach with them.

Both of our families are very supportive of our decision to adopt and are excited to welcome your baby into their hearts.

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Family Traditions

Christmas is both of our favorite holidays and we love the season leading up to it. Deb gets together with her mom and sisters for a day and bakes loads of cookies, fudge, buckeye candy, party mix, dipped pretzels and more. She also spends a day with her grandma making divinity candy; a white, fluffy, chewy, candy that has been in the family for generations. We enjoy going to the Little Bethlehem event that a local church hosts and Deb enjoys attending the local Handel’s “Messiah” concert. One of our favorite traditions is gathering with friends from church on frosty evenings to Christmas carol for neighbors. We love buying gifts for each other and friends. Excitement runs high and Nathaniel struggles to wait to give his gifts until Christmas Day! We usually spend the day with one or the other of our families.

Thanksgiving is often spent with Deb’s family. Deb’s dad raises sugarcane and the Thanksgiving weekend is the perfect time to press it and cook the juice down to a thick sugary syrup. Yummy, sticky syrup soaking into fresh biscuits eaten next to the steaming cooking pan summarizes our thanksgiving memories, that and the generous spread of food for dinner!

Every fall when the weather gets crisp, we load up with a group of friends to go camping. We sit around eating marshmallows, blowing bubbles for the kiddos, playing games, and riding bike. This annual camping trip is a Fall highlight.

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What We Will Share

We value honesty and openness. We intend to be up-front with your child even as a toddler about their life story. We want to explain that you had to make a hard choice to let them grow up in another family that would be able to provide them with everything you dreamed of. We will tell them how excited we were when you picked us to raise them and how we traveled to the hospital where they were born to meet them and you. We will squeeze them tight and tell them how precious they are and how much you love them, and how much joy they have brought to us. We hope to be able to tell them about you and who you are. We would love to tell them, “You have your birth mom’s eyes!” or “Your birth mom played basketball in high school. You get that talent from her.” Or “Your birth mom loved pizza too!” We can’t wait to meet you and we want you to know that we will always speak about you with respect and you will always have a special place in our hearts.

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Our Promise to You

We promise to love your child with all of our hearts, to be there for them when they come home from school with a spelling list that looks too long, when they win the prize for the long jump at field day, or when they have the stomach flu and don’t feel well. We will love them as they are: short or tall, athletic or uncoordinated, a whiz at school or working hard for a passing grade, center of the party or quiet dreamer. We will challenge them to be the best that they can be and give them every aid that we can to help them attain their dreams. They will have a place where they can show their true feelings and ask hard questions without worrying about being rejected because they know they have a home, they have a family, and they belong.