Eddie and Ally

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From Us to You

Dear Expectant Mother, 

We write this letter to you with hearts filled with hope and a deep respect for the journey that lies before you. We want to express our utmost gratitude for considering us as potential parents for your precious child. We understand that this decision could not have been easy and we admire your courage and selflessness in considering the possibility of placing your child with us. 

We want you to know that our home will be a warm and loving place for your child. We believe that encouragement, open-mindedness, listening, and the emotional, mental, and physical health of your child will always be our top concern. We want your child to experience a safe and open environment where they are free to explore and find their natural talents. We will teach them about life’s dangers and how to recognize them and avoid them, but with that, we will guide them to become fearless, confident and strong individuals. We will instill in them a sense of self-discipline and motivation so that they may succeed in life, but to define success on their own terms. 

We believe that travel is an adventure to be embraced, and we hope to offer your child opportunities to explore the world. Aside from just having fun, we want them to have the opportunity to understand and embrace different cultures and languages. 

We value education and believe that a well-rounded education includes art, the outdoors, and society. We see education as a tool to enrich their lives and not merely as a means to get a job. Your child will be taught that failure is not only a part of life, but an important one to embrace and learn from. They will have the opportunity for self-learning and free-thinking. We believe that education doesn’t always mean the same thing for every child, and while one might have an interest in science, another might want to study art or dance. We will encourage them to develop a hunger for knowledge that will last a lifetime. 

We are financially comfortable and want to offer your child financial freedom. We value a strong work ethic and see money as a tool, not a goal. We believe that it is important to be humble, caring and generous with our wealth. We will teach your child money management and how to reverse engineer their future to achieve their goals. We will make sure that your child is not a spoiled rich kid, but that they feel confident making decisions about their lives based on personal interest and free will, instead of needing to make financially motivated decisions. They will have the financial freedom to follow their dreams. 

Our family extends beyond just us, and your child will have many cousins to grow up with and grandparents who will love them unconditionally. We hope to offer them memorable travel vacations and a lifetime of opportunities. 

Your child’s career choice is something that we will support and encourage without reservation. We want them to have the freedom to choose their career without worry of failure or a lack of support.

Lastly, we want you to know that your child will be cherished and loved abundantly. We will provide them with all that we can to help them to grow into well-rounded, empathetic, and happy individuals. We want them to have the tools to love themselves, others, and the world. 

Again, we would like to express our deepest gratitude for considering us to parent your child. We understand the magnitude of this decision and consider it an honor to be a part of your life’s journey. If given the opportunity, we promise to offer your child a bright and fulfilling future with a loving family who will cherish them always. 

With utmost sincerity, 

Ally and Eddie

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Adoption in Our Lives

Adoption has been a significant part of our family. It’s something we not only cherish deeply, but is normal in our family. I (Ally) am adopted, as is my sister and cousin. Adoption has always been a special part of our family, and those of us that are adopted, have never felt out of place or different. We have always known that there is no difference between those that were adopted or biological, and we have always felt that love and family have nothing to do with genetics. 

When I was 15 I was given the opportunity to meet my biological mother and it was a wonderful opportunity to ask questions about genetics and family history. Then, in my 30s I connected with a biological cousin, who I now consider to be one of the most important people in my life. For this reason, we believe that open adoptions are a positive thing for everyone involved, and we want your child to have a sense of connection and understanding about their adoption and their origins, if and when they feel ready. Our family understands that adoption is a beautiful thing, and it has expanded our family in ways only love can define. 

Adoption has taught us about love, acceptance, and the importance of a supportive and nurturing family environment. Adoption has changed my life, and the shape of my family. We believe that we can provide the same warm and loving home that was provided to me. We feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to be considered by you to continue the circle of love and acceptance that I know adoption provides.

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What We Will Tell Your Child About You

As your child grows and begins to ask questions about where they came from, we believe, as parents, that honesty and positivity are essential when speaking with our child about their birth mother. We will gradually share with them the truth about their birth mother’s identity and the reasons she could not raise them. At a young age, we will introduce the concept of adoption to our child and emphasize that their birth mother loved them dearly and wanted them to have the best life possible. 

As they grow older, we will reveal more details about their birth mother’s story and emphasize her love and sacrifice. We will make sure they understand that her decision to place them for adoption was a difficult one and for their best interest. This approach will allow our child to understand the value of adoption while also knowing the truth about their history; and also strengthen their bond with their adoptive mother, as she too is adopted and understands the situation both as a child growing and from her birth mother as they have a relationship. 

As your child matures, we will encourage them to ask questions, and they will guide the conversations in ways they see fit, while still being truthful and positive. We will communicate that we, as a family, are there to support, love, and care for them as they grow into their full potential. Our intentions are to create an open and inclusive environment from which our child can form their own sense of identity and self-worth, knowing that they are loved and wanted by both their birth mother and us as their adoptive family.

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About Ally, by Eddie

I first saw Ally in a photo, as her best friend was dating a friend of mine. I was lucky enough to be invited to a social function with them where I would meet Ally, and while she was beautiful in her picture, she was even more exceptional in person.

After that night, although she lived 100 miles away, I drove it eagerly every weekend to see her. We continued a long-distance relationship through college, and I fell in love with her one night in Portland, Oregon as we helped my parents move. She fell in love with me not long after. Her wit and beauty overcame me, and I knew she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Not long after that I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. I knew when I met her that she was unique, but I did not fully understand how special she was until we began to grow with each other as our marriage matured.

She shines as a graceful, elegant person that knows herself, an obvious fact to all that meet her. She knows what makes her happy, what she wants out of life, and how to problem solve to achieve her goals. Ally is hilarious, strong-willed, sees the world clearly, and knows how to navigate through it to obtain the things that make her and those that she loves happy. She is generous, caring, gentle, and a genuine human being. Her intelligence usually keeps her two to three steps ahead of everyone around her, but her humbleness never reveals it. She has a light around her that adults can feel, but only babies and children can see, and is a magnet to the young wherever she goes.

She is the person I admire most, and she is the only perfect being I have ever met, and I only expect her to be outdone by the child she loves and has the honor of raising.

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About Eddie, by Ally

Eddie is such a unique, main character-type person, that to me, “Eddie” is more like an adjective than a name. Things can be Eddied, Eddie-fied, or Eddie-ish. One can “pull an Eddie”, and because he is so special, anything he does has a uniquely “Eddie” twist. He is funny, outrageous, extreme, goofy, deeply kind, thoughtful, curious, fearless and silly. He cares about others in a way that is truly inspiring.

Whether it’s his patients, family or friends, he’s an empathetic person who will go out of his way to put others’ interests above his own. I love how attentive he is to my immediate comfort and of those around him (but especially mine). He is a chivalrous person who still opens doors for me, carries my luggage at the airport, and takes out the garbage, while also being a feminist and lgbtq ally. I am constantly impressed by his modern sensibilities, cultural sensitivity and open mindedness. 

Eddie is always the funniest person in the room. He has a quick and fearless sense of humor which ranges from intellectual to slap stick. When he talks about even mundane tasks, he has a way of unfolding the details like a stand-up comedy routine, leaving everyone in hysterics. We giggle whenever we’re together, no matter what else is going on in our lives.

His humor and warm, generous nature make him very soft and lovable, but he is also highly respected by his peers and fellow adventure enthusiasts for going higher, faster and more extreme than anyone. These contradictory sides make him more complex than meets the eye, and strike the perfect balance—a kind, compassionate, stable family man, always ready for spontaneous new adventures, who makes every moment silly and fun, but will carry your bags and offer you his coat while doing it!

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Family and Friends

Our friends and family play a leading role in our lives, serving as a constant source of love, support, inspiration, and a whole lot of fun! We are both grateful for our luck in having an amazing, understanding and supportive family. Their uniqueness strengthens our love for them, and their personalities and love for us maintain our needs to continue our contact with them. For whatever reason, be it luck, or how we were raised, our family are more blood friends, than mere relatives. 

Our two families are incredibly close-knit, and we cherish the relationships we have with them. Eddie’s two brothers and twin sister, despite the distance between them, make sure to see each other once a month, and stay in close contact, so we can continue to stay abreast of the good news, and be available when support is needed in the constant ups and downs of life. 

Both Eddie and Ally’s parents have been exceptional role models, former teachers, and mentors to us as we grew up. They have moved from the role of parents, to close friends and trusted advisers. Although they have moved out of the parental role for each of our family’s, they have moved into the role of grandparents. With our combined 10 nieces and nephews, they continue to teach, inspire and guide our families future with constant interaction with their grandchildren – something we look forward to having your child experience as they become a part of our family and get the benefits of strong, caring maternal and paternal figures, as well as a large extended family to welcome and love them. 

As mentioned above, our extended family includes numerous nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles that span a range of ages. Your child will have plenty of cousins to grow up with and share in the wonders of family get-togethers and travel, as we are always eager to spend quality time together. We get together with our family for monthly reunions or family vacations. Our family gatherings serve as a time to continue to reinforce family values and help unify us as our family gets larger and moves into the future together. These outings create a support network that has become a driving force in all our lives. 

The importance of friendships in our lives cannot be overstated. Our close network of friends provides tons of laughter, great times, and a sense of shared purpose as we get totally awesome hanging out and exploring our world through our shared activities (backpacking, backcountry ski touring, snowcat skiing, white water rafting, extended river camping via raft, fishing, mountain biking, the list goes on). 

We have a network of friends who have been with us for most of our lives, as well as new friends cultivated through travel and exploration. Although humor and laughter are an important part of our relationship, we also take each other’s emotional health seriously. During these shared adventures we make sure to have deep conversations to check in on each other’s emotional state, give and receive advice, but mostly just to listen to each other. Through these healthy relationships we can help expand our minds, enrich our spirits, and strengthen our bonds. Our friends are more blood than just “people we know,” and we make sure that we are there for each other, without excuse or exception – something we hope to instill in your child.

In building our family, we take these skills taught to us by our family and friends and practice them in our relationships. Our family and friends bring us an immeasurable amount of joy and provide a foundation of unconditional love and support that will serve as the bedrock of our future as we welcome and raise your child with the deepest love and care.

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Our Home and Neighborhood

We are excited to share the warmth and love that radiates throughout our two-story house, situated in the heart of a historic district in the middle of a major US city on the West Coast. Our inviting home features three bedrooms, each with a private bathroom, maintaining a balance of comfort and privacy. We take great pleasure in the cozy ambiance that emanates from our two fireplaces, often reading by their mesmerizing glow or enjoying leisurely conversations with each other, loved ones and friends anew. Our residence also boasts a well-equipped library and study room, catering to our hunger for knowledge and the pursuit of personal growth. 

As we nurture our outdoor passions that lay just a short drive away, we bring the outdoors to our home to experience as well. We have a spacious deck, a meticulously maintained backyard that I have curated, and a lush garden that supports and guides Ally’s love for cooking (Eddie’s also not too bad with a cookbook). All of this creates a sanctuary for relaxation, exploration, and the cultivation of the pleasures of home. 

The vibrant district we live in further enriches our lives with its historically Latino roots, offering a tapestry of cultural, educational, and artistic experiences. We delight in the diverse array of delicious and healthy foods steeped in tradition and embrace the opportunity to explore both the bustling city and the natural splendor of the majestic mountains and landscapes just beyond the city’s borders. 

Our sense of community is strengthened by the genuine friendships we have formed with our neighbors, who not only share in our enthusiasm for raising children but also contribute to the nurturing environment that defines our neighborhood. We have access to world-class private 

schools that stand in close proximity to our home, ensuring our future child will be afforded the best educational opportunities. Our neighborhood is also generously endowed with numerous parks and recreational facilities, providing an abundance of chances for outdoor play, social interaction, and connection with the natural world. 

In opening our hearts and home to your child, we anticipate sharing in the laughter, love, and lifelong memories that await our ever-growing family.

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

Cultural diversity has played a fundamental role in our lives, with Ally’s adoptive father being Latino, and his extended family and cousins sharing their culture’s richness and traditions with us. In our everyday lives, we have celebrated many of the beautiful customs such as their festivals and culinary heritage, leaving a lasting impression on us. 

Since Ally’s adopted father has such a deep passion for his Latino culture, his genuine appreciation for diversity and inclusiveness has influenced us and our daily lives. His extended family and cousins have generously shared their traditions with us, making us feel like a part of their family. Growing up in such a culturally rich environment has helped us embrace the beauty and complexity of the human experience. 

Cultural diversity has molded us into compassionate, understanding, and respectful human beings, with an unwavering appreciation for cultural differences. The warmth and acceptance of my wife’s adoptive family have taught us both the importance of generosity and hospitality, values that we will always cherish.

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Our Lifestyle

We are deeply grateful for the opportunity to live in a vibrant and diverse major US city on the West Coast, where our daily lives are enriched by a plethora of cultural and recreational experiences. Our City truly sets the stage for a fulfilling lifestyle for any age, especially children, as we enjoy going to the symphony, ballet, movies both new and from yesteryear, and numerous art and science museums that celebrate the creative spirit of our community. 

Our City’s rich culinary scene offers an array of delectable cultural cuisines, and its inclusive and open-minded atmosphere provides a haven for both the LGBTQ+ and Hetero communities, perpetually inspiring us to embrace diversity and champion equality and making a safe place for our future children to explore themselves and become the people that they want and are meant to be. 

Among the many great things in our lives, we are fortunate to have financial security that affords us the freedom to explore the world at large and allows for spontaneity and the indulgence of our love for outdoor activities. Our adventures often include backpacking, camping, and skiing (including helicopter skiing and snowcat skiing), as well as vacationing often in the Mountain lake towns and the nearby scenic wine country in our proverbial backyard, often with family and friends. These experiences not only enrich our lives but also nurture our spirit as we continue to teach ourselves and future generations the appreciation of and to revel in the beauty of nature, our duty to protect it, and the world around us. 

Our house is modest and comfortable, but these comforts extend beyond its walls, as our neighborhood is a safe and nurturing environment with excellent schools and a strong sense of community. Our passion for travel often leads us to visiting friends and family both near and far (as well as completely new places with no familiarity or attachment); including the unique and exciting voyages we embark upon when visiting Eddie’s parents, who reside aboard a 70-foot sailboat and circumnavigate the globe constantly, or my parents in the Rockies or Pacific Northwest, pending the season. 

Each visit with them unfolds into unforgettable experiences, as we share the magic of exploring incredible destinations across the world, including, Fiji, Costa Rica, Nicoguargua, East Asia and Polynesia, Australian, New Zealand, the Gold Coast of Africa, South Africa, Madagascar, Dubai, Lebanon, Croatia, Greece, West and East Europe, Alaska, Turkey, Mexico, Canada and many, many more. The love, laughter, jokes, and spirit for adventure that permeate our lives are the hallmarks of our lifestyle, which we eagerly anticipate sharing with our future child.

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Our Traditions

Dear Expectant Mother, 

We want to share with you some of the traditions that will help you get a better idea of who we are and what we practice in our family. One of our favorite traditions is making and sending out funny Christmas cards. Every year, we spend time coming up with a unique and humorous concept for our cards, get costumes and sets, generally travel to a place, and set up the shot. It is hilarious, (especially before camera/phone technology was so good, as we had to run back and forth to the camera). It has become something that our friends and family not only look forward to, but demand it, as they say Christmas just isn’t the same without it. 

Speaking of Christmas, while decorating the Christmas tree (a full day family event usually filled with good food especially Christmas tamales, mole, hot coco, and a winter festive spirit) we listen to both the Nutcracker Suite and Elvis Christmas. The Nutcracker comes from Eddie’s family and Elvis’ Christmas comes from Ally’s. But we listen to both, and of course there is always bad dancing and even worse singing (mostly from Eddie), and it is a wonderful unifying family event. 

We also celebrate nature, specifically the solstices, equinoxes and the rising of the full moons. We feel it is important to embrace the world, its changing seasons, the cycles of nature and the passage of time. It is a reminder of our fleeting beauty, uniqueness, importance and the necessity to live in the moment. Each event, we take time to reflect on the meaning behind these special days and celebrate with a bonfire, barbeque and friends. We don’t wear capes or hoods or anything – it’s just a fun way to get together and enjoy the world. 

We also enjoy the lunar cycle and recognize the moon’s powerful gravitational effect on all of us and our environment. We understand and appreciate its energy, and mostly its simple beauty and uniqueness to our planet. Whether we go on a hike, or drive to watch it rise, it is an important time to simply take a moment to appreciate each other, life, and wonder at the sheer vastness of the universe and our understanding of it. It is always a special day and often trips are planned around them. The fall Harvest Moon is the most important one to Eddie’s family, as often we have family reunions during the fall equinox, and it is Eddie’s personal favorite. 

We have a love for Halloween and the Latin holiday “Day of the Dead”. We take dressing up in costumes seriously (in a fun way), as it also helps us remember and honor our loved ones who have died. We believe that it is important to remember and celebrate those who have left us and keep their memory alive. Celebrating this holiday is not only fun, but an important way to help recognize feelings of grief and loss so we can deal with them together in a healthy manner, to be talked about openly and celebrated, rather than suppressed, leaving us feeling isolated and alone. We also celebrate lost ones’ memories both on their birthdays and their death days, lighting candles and burning them all day in their memory – an important way to embrace our mortality, introduce the reality of it and to teach that death is a part of life, not to be feared but to be respected, and to remind us to embrace the gift and fragility of life.

We also celebrate the major holidays such as New Year’s, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Fourth of July, Labor Day, and Memorial Day. These holidays are always special and give us easy excuses to call in sick, grab the tent, jump in the car and take off to far and near corners for fun, games, and late-night campfires and s’mores. These are great opportunities for us to gather with family in various places, or go rafting, hiking, or traveling with friends, and reflect on what is truly important in life – eating, family and life! 

Family games, both board games, and active ones like “kick the can”, “laser tag”, “hide and seek”, and many others are a constant. It’s a great way for us to spend time together and create lasting memories. If we pass a water park, fair or carnival along the freeway or county road, we do not pass them up, we stop and jump in. Life’s too short to pass by a water slide. 

Television, more of an “anti-tradition”, is not a large part of our lives. We have one and use it to watch movies and binge shows on occasion, but having the TV on, even background noise, is just not part of our lives. We enjoy it but emphasize other activities to fill relaxation time. We also eat dinner together as a family. 

We hope that these traditions give you a better idea of who we are as a people, how your child’s future will look, and how they will learn to embrace life. We look forward to sharing these traditions with a new addition to our family and making new ones along the way. 

Looking forward to meeting you, 

Ally and Eddie

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Our Pets

Our two cats and dog are not just pets – they are a beloved family members. We adore them, and our lives are enriched by their presence and individual personalities. 

We rescued our dog, Frau, from the side of the road when we were on vacation in the Caribbean 13 years ago. We intended to find her a good home on the island, but we bonded with her so quickly, we couldn’t imagine leaving without her. Since then, we’ve enjoyed many adventures with her and our two cats.

We travel with them whenever we can, including several road trips across the country. Although they travel very well in the car, we’ve discovered how truly difficult it is to check 2 cats and a dog into a hotel. The craziest trip we ever took them on was a 25-mile bike ride – we towed them in a child’s bike trailer, and although they calmly nestled down and enjoyed the ride, it really excited other riders on the trail who couldn’t stop taking pictures of the 3 of them all snuggled together in the back of the trailer. When we are just hanging out at home, our pets follow us around from room to room and all three of them sleep in the bed with us at night. 

We can’t imagine life without them. They are a constant source of love and joy, and we appreciate the love they give us as well as their unique personalities. They are an integral part of our family, and we are committed to providing them with the very best care possible, and look forward to them meeting your child.