Unplanned Pregnancy Options: Adoption, Parenting, or Abortion

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can feel overwhelming, and not having a plan can make it feel worse. Even in ideal circumstances there is a lot to think through during a pregnancy, and an unplanned pregnancy has challenges of its own.

Support is available, and you do not have to figure this out alone. Adoption Network can answer your questions and help you find the resources you need to make the best decision for you and your baby. Whatever you choose, whether you make an adoption plan, decide to parent, or end the pregnancy, the decision is yours. Take the time you need, look at what each path would mean for you, and find the right people to help.

Have a question right now? Call or text 1-800-367-2367 any time, day or night. It is free, confidential, and does not commit you to anything.

Where to Start

• Confirm the pregnancy and how far along you are. Your timeline affects which options are available and when.
• Give yourself room to think. You do not have to decide today.
• Talk to someone who will listen without pushing you. That can be a trusted friend, a counselor, or an Adoption Network advisor.

Option 1: Adoption

If you are not going to be able to parent, placing your baby for adoption is an option to consider. If you decide to work with Adoption Network, you will be supported throughout the process by people whose job is to make sure your voice is heard and your wishes are met. Support, education, and resources are provided to you at no cost.

What does adoption cost you?

Nothing. Birth parents are not responsible for legal fees or agency fees; adoptive parents cover those. Help with some medical and living expenses may also be available, as allowed by the laws of your state. Your Adoption Advisor will explain what your state allows.

The choices you get to make

Adoption involves a lot of decisions, and they are yours. You choose the adoptive family, and you decide how much and what kind of contact you want after placement. Think about what matters to you: a family similar to the one that raised you, or different? The same part of the country, or somewhere new? A big city, a small town, a farm? You can view profiles of waiting families, all of whom have met their state’s home study requirements, and your advisor will walk you through open, semi-open, and closed adoption so you can find what feels right.

How adoption feels

Adoption affects everyone differently and at different times. Love, loss, gratitude, guilt, relief, and resolution are all common. Adoption Network has a support team for birth parents, including birth parent mentors, adoption advisors, adoption specialists, and access to professional counseling. Trusted friends, support groups, and counselors also give you a safe place to talk through your feelings before and after.

Read more about adoption as an option.

Option 2: Parenting

Parenting means being responsible for your baby 24 hours a day, every day. Many women find their lives change in big and unexpected ways: school or a career path may be delayed, and hobbies and social life shift or take a back seat. Many women choose parenthood anyway and build a good life with the added expense and challenges of raising a child.

Questions worth answering honestly:

• How will you afford to care for your baby?
• Where will you and your baby live, and is it safe and suitable for a child?
• Will you be able to continue school or keep a job?
• Who will provide child care when you are away?
• Is the baby’s father involved, and is he willing and able to help?
• How will you cover your baby’s medical care?
• Are you ready to adjust your social life to be present for your child?

What does it cost to raise a child?

The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s last major estimate put the cost of raising a child to age 18 at roughly $233,000, and costs have risen since. Housing, child care, food, and medical care make up most of it.

If you are a teen

Almost all teen pregnancies are unplanned. Pregnancy and parenting are a challenge at any age, and teens face extra pressure around finishing school, work, and support from the father and family. None of that means you cannot parent. It means it is worth being clear-eyed about the help you will have. Adoption Network’s teen pregnancy resources can help you think it through.

Option 3: Abortion

If you know you are not ready to parent and you are early enough in your pregnancy, abortion is an option. Abortion is the medical termination of a pregnancy. Laws about when, where, and how an abortion can be performed vary widely by state and have changed significantly in recent years. In some states access is limited or unavailable, especially after the first trimester. Check the current law in your state before making plans.

What does an abortion cost?

Costs vary by state, provider, method, and how far along you are, and can range from several hundred to more than a thousand dollars. Some clinics and insurance plans offer assistance.

What to expect

Abortion is a medical procedure with physical side effects that can include bleeding, cramping, nausea, and pain, and, rarely, serious complications. It can also be an emotional experience. Some women feel relief; others feel sadness, guilt, or grief, and some feel both. Counseling is available before and after, and it is okay to ask for it.

Read more about abortion as an option.

The Decision Is Yours

Other people may pressure you or offer advice, but you should be allowed to think through your options and make the final call. Adoption Network offers a safe, non-judgmental place to talk about pregnancy, parenting, adoption, and abortion. If you want to understand what an adoption plan would look like in your situation and your state, an advisor can walk you through it. Whatever you decide, we are here to support you.

Call or text 1-800-367-2367 any time, or request your free information packet. Everything is confidential.

Adoption Network is a network of licensed adoption attorneys and licensed adoption agencies throughout the United States, in compliance with the adoption-related laws of each state in which an adoption is finalized.