Do Birth Mothers change their mind?

One of the biggest fears hopeful adoptive parents may face is if an expectant mother will change her mind about placing her child for adoption. This can be very painful for a woman who is suffering from infertility hoping to expand her family, or for a prospective family that has prepared their home for a new baby.

It is important to remember an expectant mother has the right to change her mind at any time—even after an adoption plan has been completed and the child is born. It happens. According to Family Education, “women who are in their second or third trimesters are less likely to change their minds about placing their baby for adoption because a woman still in her first trimester may be going through many emotional issues, may be under a lot of pressure from the Birth Father and others, and the baby may not seem entirely “real” to her yet. Later, after she feels the baby kick and move around, she’ll have a better sense of the reality of the situation. If she still is considering adoption then, that is a sign of potential commitment, although it’s certainly no guarantee.”

What is important is that expectant mothers have the space and support they need to make the decision that will affect their lives for a lifetime. Birth Mothers love their children. There is no easy way to cope with placing a child for adoption, even in an open adoption where a Birth Mother will have some form of contact with her child. No woman should ever feel forced to place her child, nor should she feel that it is the only option that leads to her terminating parental rights (TPR) out of desperation.

In order to make adoption successful as a whole, an expectant mother should have an in depth understanding that adoption is permanent and ones circumstances can improve over time. To decrease the likelihood that a Birth Mother changes her mind about adoption, expectant mothers should speak to mental health professionals that are not affiliated with the adoption agency to prevent her from feeling overwhelmed or pressured to place her child. It should be a well thought out decision rooted in understanding and peace and not based on emotions.

The number of expectant mothers that change their mind is low; it should not deter hopeful adoptive parents from desiring to adopt. There are thousands of children available for adoption today. These children deserve a home and a loving family. There are expectant mothers that have their minds made up while pregnant that this is the best decision for them and are confident about their decision to place their child for adoption.