One of the most important factors to consider when you are creating an adoption plan is the type of relationship you desire with the Adoptive Family. You have the ability to choose the Adoptive Parents you want for your child; today you have options:
Adoptions may be closed, with no contact between you and the Adoptive Family. Adoptions may also be open, with contact ranging from texts, calls, emails and/or photo updates to visits on special occasions and anywhere in between. Today, most adoptions have some level of openness.
For some ANLC Birth Mothers, what works best is a photo sharing site where the Adoptive Parents regularly share photos and updates of their child. Other ANLC Birth Mothers enjoy a texting, phone relationship with their child’s Adoptive Parents. Yet other ANLC Birth Mothers have occasional visits with the Adoptive Family and their Birth Child.
It is important to recognize that your relationship, if any, with the Adoptive Family will be unique and should focus on what is comfortable for all involved and especially what is best for the child.
Just like you are unique, so are all prospective Adoptive Parents. You will need to think about what you want life to be like for your child as he/she grows up. Is it important to you that your child grows up in a two parent household with a mom and a dad or would you prefer same sex parents? What are your thoughts on a single parent household? Do you want your child to be an only child or do you want them to have siblings? Do you want your child to grow up with a close extended family? What about pets?
The answers to some of these questions may lead you to the Adoptive Parents you dream of for your child. Some ANLC Birth Mothers have shared that they just “knew” when they found the right Adoptive Parents because they were able to picture their child growing up in that specific family.
The region where the Adoptive Parents are or intend to raise a child is an important factor to many Birth Mothers. Some Birth Mothers imagine a life for their child in a more rural community while others hope for a life in the suburbs or the city. Some Birth Mothers may want their child to be raised in the same region as they were and some are more interested in where the Adoptive Parents have roots.
At ANLC, we have had Birth Mothers select Adoptive Parents who were high school sweethearts and lived in the same community for most of their lives. We have also had Birth Mothers excited that the Adoptive Parents they selected would have the opportunity to raise their child overseas. For some Birth Mothers it has been important to find Adoptive Parents in the same or neighboring states.
For some Birth Mothers, religion is something they feel strongly about and they want to know if and how religion will be a part of their child’s life.
At ANLC, we have had Birth Mothers of various faiths looking to find Adoptive Parents who will raise their child with those same values and teachings. We have also seen Birth Parents who look for Adoptive Parents without a specific faith and want their child to be able make his/her own decisions about this later on in life. And others just want their child raised in a good, morally stable home where religion is not an emphasis.
There is no cost for Birth Mothers looking to create an adoption plan.
Depending on the laws of your state, the Adoptive Parents you select may be able to provide you with financial assistance for medical and living expenses. Your adoption professional can assist you in securing available state and federal aid as well as ensure that you are complying with your state’s laws, and, depending on your state, your Adoptive Parents may help with other pregnancy-related expensessharing.
Adoption is not an easy journey. As a Birth Mother, you will go through a wide range of emotions and struggles during and after your pregnancy. It is important for you to have a support network during this time.
At ANLC, we have Birth Mother mentors available to speak with you. These mentors are Birth Mothers who have placed a child for adoption and want to reach out to other women facing the same struggles they went through. ANLC also stresses the importance of Birth Mothers receiving professional counseling as it helps with the healing process.