CHOOSING A FAMILY

Selecting an Adoptive Family for your baby is one of the most significant decisions you will make. Begin by thinking about the type of parent or home you would like for your child. Maybe it is one similar to how you were raised. Maybe it is the type of home in which you wish you had grown up. You may not find everything you want in one family, but by knowing what is important to you, you have a starting point.
choosing a family
Selection criteria:
  • Do you want a home with a mom and dad, a same-sex family or a single parent?
  • Are you looking for a parent who is funny, smart, successful, playful, social, outgoing, shy, or athletic?
  • Is it important to you that a parent be at home raising your child? Is it okay for both parents to be working?
  • If parents are working, how long will they take off when the baby first arrives? What sort of childcare are they planning—a babysitter, live in au pair, nanny, other family members or an out of the home option?
  • Are you looking for a home in a big or small city, a suburb of a city, or in a rural community? Are you hoping they will live near a beach, a lake, or the mountains? Do you want them to live near you or across the country?
  • Do you want your child to be the first in the family, have siblings or be an only child?
  • Is it important to you that there is an extended family—grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins?
  • What sort of life are you hoping for your child? Are there certain hobbies or interests you want your child to try or be exposed to—things like music lessons or sports? Some families take a lot of vacations or travel frequently. Some are homebodies and visit local parks, museums, theater and recreational venues.
  • Is their religion important to you?
  • How will they discipline?
  • What kind of post-placement contact is important to you? Do you not want any contact? Do you want pictures and written updates? Do you want the opportunity for visits?

GETTING TO KNOW A PROSPECTIVE FAMILY

Getting to know a prospective family is an important part of your selection process. You can talk to them over the phone, Skype, or you may have the opportunity to meet them in person before you decide to place your child in their home. Then, if you choose them—you can continue to talk or meet during the pregnancy. You should also be discussing what kind of post-placement contact you are looking for.

FINAL DECISIONS

  • You have the right to choose a family, this includes seeing profiles and talking to several families before making a decision.
  • You have the right to take time to make a decision.
  • You have the right to an unpressured decision making process.
  • You have the right to counseling if you have questions or are struggling with making an adoption plan or choosing a family.
You need to feel comfortable that this is the right family. This is a big decision that will affect both your life and your child’s. It is important for you to take the time you need to make an informed decision.
You need to feel comfortable that this is the right family.